30 Jan 06Intel-Based Macs Not Waffle Compliant.

According to disappointed owners of new Intel-based iMacs, the optical drives that ship in the new machines are not waffle compliant.

While all of Apple’s previous Macs have featured RW – Read Waffle – drives, all attempts to insert round waffles have met with failure.

“When I put the waffle in the drive,” said Wayne Gaither. “It wouldn’t mount. And, man, there’s nothing more diappointing than a waffle that won’t mount.”

Gaither added that the results may appear confusing.

“I just got an error saying ‘Insufficient butter’. I don’t even know what that means. ‘Insufficient butter.’ I put a whole mess of butter on it, so I’m not sure that’s even a valid error message.”

Apple confirmed the disappointing news about the drives but indicated that newer, better drives are on the way.

“Future Intel-based Macs will feature high-capacity flapjack drives,” said Peter Mehring, head of Apple hardware engineering. “Flapjack media will have four times the capacity of waffle media. Mostly because you can only write on the top layer of the waffle, not in the little crevices.

“Not a lot of people realize that about waffles.”

Industry reports indicate that high-capacity flapjack drives are currently under development by Matshita and other manufacturers and will be available later this year. Although some are concerned a colder than expected winter in Canada and northern New England could affect the world’s supply of maple syrup.

That doesn’t affect the performance of the drives, it just makes the media less delicious.

Mehring indicated that the company is prepared to ship the drives with alternative syrups such as boysenberry if necessary.

“We totally want maple,” he hastened to add. “It’s not even a question. Still… boysenberry… quite tasty.”

No Responses to “Intel-Based Macs Not Waffle Compliant.”

  1. khren says:

    First time commenting, first post

  2. BZ says:

    Damnit, I read the article. Second?

  3. Huh? says:

    My pants are FILLED with syrup…




  4. Poisednoise says:

    Where’s the piccy? I can’t see the piccy!!!

    …It had better be of a waffle in an optical drive.

  5. BZ says:

    And what kind of FREAK calls them FLAPJACKS!?! There called PANCAKES.

  6. lightningrod220 says:

    Not to worry. Final Cut Waffle will available in March for the Intel Macs. Whoohoo!

  7. jobo da hobo says:


    …..and I got nothing. Except waffles.


  8. UhhhDude says:

    The new drive will be called the iHop, I take it?


  9. Nine, and I have no interesting waffle-related comments.

  10. John Moltz says:

    Ah, Poisednoise, how well you know us.

    Sorry, Masako forgot to upload it at first.

    Howard, of course, ate the waffle after taking this picture.

  11. Carl says:

    There’s a special comment #11, at the Waffle House.

  12. hermit says:

    I hate to do the fact-checking thing to ya, but Canada has been an average of 7 degrees Celsius (about 13 degrees Fahrenheit) warmer than normal this year. The maple syrup will flow, Baby!

    Insert that in your waffle drive and read it!

  13. Nxxx says:

    Waffles? Okay. But what about us Brits?

    We demand that Combo drives should take the Great British Traditional Crumpet, and in the next upgrade the Great British Traditional Muffin, which is a larger Crumpet, NOT the sponge-like, wimpish foreign invader.

    Give us a signal now Steve, or we will omit you from the next edition of Who’s Who.

  14. 2000guitars says:

    I was waffling, at first, between flapjack or pancake… Flapjack just sounds so much more, er, Bunyanish… And we all know, there’s nothing quite like a Bunyany flapjack, slathered with butter and syrupy goodness…

    John Moltz/Jack Miller

  15. Smor says:

    Seriously, who reads ‘Who’s Who’? And moreover, no one but brits eat Crumpets, so making a compatible drive would be like making ALL laptops compatible with 210 voltage, because, you know, no one uses that either.

  16. Anonymous says:


  17. Gordon Charlton says:

    Things I Like To Eat

    a poem by me

    Waffle, waffle, drop scone, muffin.

    Pikelet, muffin, Welsh cake, tart.

    Waffle, waffle, drop scone, muffin,

    Crumpet, muffin, tart, tart, tart.

    Pikelet, drop scone, Welsh cake, tart,

    Muffin, crumpet, muff, muff, muff.

  18. Karl says:

    I don’t want to know about your Bunyans… And what in the world is a crumpet? Is it some sort of edible musical instrument?

    Do they play a crumpet fanfare for the Royalty in Britan?

    I am not so smart, so I am just wondering if somone would explain these things for me.

    And I really don’t want to know about your Bunyans… Really.

  19. Will Feldhusen says:

    Do pancakes work?

  20. Guy who used to be irritated by the Amazon ad says:

    I had a Bunyan on my foot once.

    It was uncomfortable.

  21. LizBurleyHurley says:

    Thanks, but I’ll hang on for the Blueberry Ray drive or the HD (Hot Donut) DVD.

    Pancake drives are old skool, the were the flippy that came before the floppy….

    My RAM is still DimmSum, but it works OK with the Universal Cereal Bus.


    PS…Apples, hey they’re food too!

  22. Hobbs says:

    I vaguely remember reading something similar to this on CARS a long time ago. If so, WASSSSUP!

  23. Del says:

    Exactly Hobbs we want to know the important things like do the drives still read cheese? I have wheels of very important data in cheese format. I am not about to go out and buy an iNtel mac if it can’t read my cheese.

    Though flapjack storage does sound very interesting. The cheese never held up well in warm conditions and you always had to keep ninja kittens around to keep the mice away. Using flapjacks would free the kittens up for more important work.

  24. Katie, Goddess of Minutiae says:

    Who is Jack MIller????

  25. Round Belgian says:






    Waffle, Waffle ??

  26. Ace Deuce says:

    I’m still waiting for the spaghetti drives. You can store the Library of Congress on one strand!

    My old Performa used to have an external SCSI rice drive. The problem was, each grain came with the Lord’s Prayer on it, so you had reformat before use, and software was always getting lost. I never found the grain of rice that had Crystal Quest on it–I believe it’s still in the vacuum cleaner.

  27. Gary says:

    I am thinking The Entity has some interest in the development of these drives.

  28. Baby Stewie says:

    I want Paaancakes!

  29. Brent says:

    I have a lot of data in waffle-based format. Is there any way to convert it into flapjack format? There have got to be some utilities out there.

    Any help? Anyone?

  30. Aaron says:

    Of *course* the new MacBook Pro isn’t compatible with the Waffle. The iSights are CCDs, not CCFs.

    (Those of you thoroughly familiar with the history of the Canadian New Democratic Party will find this funny. Maybe. For the rest of you, see http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Waffle and http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Co-operative_Commonwealth_Federation)

  31. I knew no good could come of this transition to Intel! Not waffle compliant??!? And if the Intel CPU produces less heat does that mean that any waffles or flapjacks use in the machine will be lukewarm?

    I would love to hear the Colonel weigh in on this topic, but for me it sounds likje one more reason to stick with my Pismo with waffles (and Peanut Butter!) for the foreseeable future.

  32. Evets Sboj says:

    Don’t forget that these are just temporary Intel machines… the ‘real’ new ones are still in development.

    You didn’t hear it from me, but the new books are not only going to read waffles, they’re gonna make ’em from scratch and butter ‘m too!

    These new “MacWaffleIronProBooks” are going to knock your socks off! (using an optional attachment)

  33. The Invisible Evil Boy's Breakfast Club says:





  34. Aunt Jemima says:

    Thanks, UhhhDude, been waiting for a good iHop joke for awhile… Moltz set it up nicely.


    – Well… ya knew what it MEANT, obviously!

  35. Are these flapjack drives going to have to be blessed? Anyone who has read a recent OSX manual knows what I am talking about. C’mon guys everyone knows that RW doesn’t stand for “Reads Waffles”… Its stands for… Nah forget it

  36. Dr. Who says:

    You can; however, burn waffles with Toast.

  37. John Moltz says:

    This is totally different than the cheese drive story.


    For starters, the cheese drive was in a TiBook…

    And plus, we just *report* the news. If Apple sources say “cheese drive”, we write “cheese drive”. If they say “read waffles”, we write “read waffles”.

    I don’t understand why everyone continues to struggle with this concept.

  38. Paul Simon says:

    I’m a “Citizens for Boysenberry Jam” fan. Artie is, too.



  39. Composer says:

    Anybody read the ads at the top? Waffle recipe? cool.

  40. Microsoft hears the call of the Brits, and delivers!

    I bring you: The Microsoft Scones File System!

    It’s much tastier than NTFS and, well, unlike VistaFS it’s available now and is compatible with butter, but not margarine. Margarine support will come in late 2007 or 2012ish.

  41. syberghost says:

    I’ll call up my friends in the Vast Right Wing Conspiracy and see if we can arrange for some extra Global Warming to keep the syrup flowing.

  42. gwzcomps says:

    waffle 😉

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