08 Feb 06iTunes Recommends

Some commenters yesterday voiced their opinions that we, the members of the Crazy Apple Rumors Site staff, were probably spending the week sitting on our asses, watching reruns of Battlestar Galactica (original version), drinking Hi-C and eating mounds of Fiddle Faddle (or Screaming Yellow Zonkers depending on where the commenter was from).

Nothing could be further from the truth.

In actuality, we’re catching up on a lot of backlog. In case you didn’t realize, there are a whole variety of behind-the-scenes tasks that need to be done to keep this site running.

Like stocking the vending machine.

Well, OK, Mark from United Vendors actually does that, but we have stand there and watch him and call dibs on the mini-donuts. And then for some reason the second Mark leaves the Entity buys all the Baked Lays and spends the rest of the day noisily devouring them in the break room. Then we go without Baked Lays for a week until Mark comes back.

It’s not a very good system.

Anyway, that’s not really the kind of thing I was trying to get at. Most importantly, we’re working on fixing the intermittent database error you’ve probably seen if you’ve been clicking refresh relentlessly in an effort to get the coveted 11th post.

When I say “we” I really mean “Masako.” The rest of us have been standing around watching her work and asking her if she needs anything.

You never know when she could want a beverage.

She’s shit out of luck if she wants any Baked Lays, though.

But rest assured that while we’re not so much covering the Apple rumors this week, we are working.

Except during lunch.

And designated breaks.

And when we’re playin’ the ponies.

And I had to run some errands earlier.



How… how are you?
Actual iTunes “Just for you” recommendation.


(Thanks, Eric.)

32 Responses to “iTunes Recommends”

  1. Wysz says:

    Makes perfect sense to me. I don’t see why this is funny.

    Monkeys are always funny.

  2. PRF says:

    DARN! um…THIRD!

  3. Carl says:

    Johnny Cash is a well known vampire slayer.

  4. Sparky says:

    The correlation is clear: If you like Buffy, you might like fantasizing about her in Folsom prison with Johny Cash and the boys. I’m just sayin…

    Eat my shorts, fatbo!

    — lesbian ninja

  5. John C. Randolph says:

    I wondered why he always wore black.


  6. Me! says:

    9TH! w00t

  7. croikle says:

    I claim first!

    …setting up for:

  8. Jon says:

    Aww, thanks for the introduction, croikle. I never knew I was so loved when I Spoke.

  9. Nxxx says:

    This is so old hat, I wrote my thesis on this.

  10. Jay says:

    Makes sense to me. I love both Buffy and Johnny Cash as does anyone who appreciates only the best of each genre.

    i mean duh.

  11. Small Paul says:

    The man in black don’t look happy about where he’s got to.

  12. The Pervert says:

    it’s not funny, it’s a stark social commentary. The unpalatable fact is, most Johnny Cash fans like Buffy, and vice versa. The same can be said of red blooded males. They too like Buffy. hmmm, how far can I go with this. Yes, I too would like to slip Buffy a length and often fantasize about doing so whilst listening to Gangsta Rap. My favourtite fantasy involves, huh huh, finding other uses for one of those steaks she’s always carrying around. What happens is, she bends over and I #MYSQL-ERROR: There is an Error in your SQL Syntax Near ‘shove it up her ass’

  13. Deacon or Crystal Blue says:

    When I bought “Buffy” iTunes recommended a new dual core iMac.


  14. UhhhDude says:

    Wait a minute. Weren’t they seeing each other for awhile?

    June musta been pissed. (But, hey, what’re ya gonna do to someone who kills vampires for a living? Drive a guitar into their heart? Force them to watch “Hee-Haw” reruns until their eyes bleed?)

  15. Aaron says:

    All iTunes recommendations make sense. Do not question Steve. We love you, Steve! Steve, please smile upon me… please…

  16. arcsine says:

    “You bought Buffy the Vampire Slayer -…”

    from iTunes?

    That’s unbelievable…

    That’s hilarious…

    That’s utterly ridiculous…

    Cause you don’t get the official CD insert…

    and then you can’t get it autographed if you don’t have it…

    I got mine autographed …

    umm damn … forgot this is just a joke… but this is Buffy …

    you really bought the iTunes version?

  17. Ace Deuce says:

    I once saw Penn Jillette on Buffy, but never on Johnny Cash, so I don’t get the connection.

  18. Abe Lincolnlogski says:

    Who the hell is Eric?

  19. Giles says:

    Buffy dated Angel, who always wore black.

    Johnny Cash was known as the man in black.

    Johnny Cash was Angel.

    Buffy dated Johnny Cash.

    The connection is obvious.

  20. 2000guitars says:

    I think the connection comes from the “16 biggest hits”. That number sounds a tad low for either Buffy, or Cash…

  21. My usurp was ursurped by croikle. Good on ya.

    Does not Buffy walk the line?

    Does not Johnny Cash fight evil?

    Does not John Cleese have a silly walk?

    Where am I going with this?

    Am I not in over my head?

  22. Del says:

    Lets try this again, Once more with feeling.

  23. gordo says:

    27th whoohoooohhohooo

    merryy christmas


  24. Ben says:

    You Own “Hey You, I Love Your Soul” by Skillet (really old Christian industrial metal album), We Recommend “Rent (Original Motion Picture Soundtrack)”

    That was my weird recommendation

  25. Dr. Gradus says:

    Funny, that. Look what just showed up on my recommendation:

    You Bought “Smile” (Best Driving album ever- by Brian Wilson). We recommend: Walk the Line (Original Motion Picture Soundtrack)

    Is there a Cash Conspiracy in the iTMS?

  26. shadowphiar says:

    Well it’s obvious isn’t it? Apple, being Apple, have approached the problem of generating recommendations in a different way to the rest of the industry.

    Where their more pedestrian competitors might offer albums similar to the ones you already own, Apple’s groundbreaking system leads you in a much more creative and original direction, offering albums from genres entirely unlike the albums you’ve bought so far.

    “You bought The Shadows, Live at the Paris Olympia. We recommend Basement Jaxx, Kish Kash.”

    “You bought Vangelis, Heaven & Hell. We recommend Motörhead, Iron Fist.”

    I think the internet will soon be abuzz with compliments to this most innovative scheme.

  27. Gipsy Prose Key says:

    Buffy never wears black-John always did- somebody else always wore black, ah yes Valentine Dyall but you wouldn’t remember him- someone else… ah it’s coming…..I’m getting the name Steve…….no it’s no good, the guide has gone.

  28. Progress lies not in enhancing what is, but in advancing toward what will be. -Kahlil Gibran