20 Feb 06No post today

Today is the day when we here in the States celebrate our favorite dead presidents.

Harrison Ford and David Palmer.

Wait, that’s not right.

Harrison Ford’s not dead.

Still, he was a great president in Air Force One. And, to all you kiddies out there, in the real Star Wars, Han Solo shot Greedo before Greedo inexplicably fires over his fricking shoulder. I mean, how stupid is that? Greedo’s a fricking bounty hunter and he shoots like three feet over Solo’s shoulder.

Lucas is such a wanker.

That’s why we don’t celebrate him today.

Well…

Anyway…

No post today.

I dunno.

What do you think?

38 Responses to “No post today”

  1. Jon says:

    I think first.

  2. yonatr0n says:

    I shoot first, think later, and only sometimes ask questions.

  3. Greedo (from beyond) says:

    Hey not fair man, it’s hard to shoot straight with half your torso burnt away…

  4. Chewbacca says:

    AAAAAAAAaaa rrrrrrrrrrrrrnnnnnnnnnnhhhh, HHHurrRRRRRRRRnhhhh. UUUHHHGGG-rrrr! UUUHHHGGG-rrrrRRR! UUUHHHGGG-rrrrRRR! HHHurrRRRRRRRRnhhhh. AAAAAAAAaaa rrrrrrrrrrrrrnnnnnnnnnnhhhh!

  5. icewelder says:

    humms theme from the bar scene in star wars..

    .
    .
    .
    .
    stuck there now isn’t it

  6. Tim_s says:

    Han’s a fricking smuggler. He’s gonna shoot first. If only Lucas had forgotten how to make movies after Return of the Jedi. Oh, wait… he did. Actually, I think he forgot about the time he thought ewoks were a good idea.

    Sorry, SW rant is now over. Now if only I could get that Cantina song out of my head.

  7. Carl says:

    damn you icewelder!

  8. peter says:

    i think i hate my frickin’ job, that’s what i think, and now i have to go do it knowing that there is NO POST ON CARS!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!

  9. Huh? says:

    I like how in the ‘Special Edition’ Greedo shot first, then in the DVD release, they shoot together.

    Lucas can’t even make up his mind.

    Much like my pants.
    Well, they don’t even have a mind.

    moo

  10. PoisedNoise says:

    Lucas is an idiot.

    And I’m eleventh.

  11. Ace Deuce says:

    What about brain-dead presidents? Oops, no offfense meant.

    Twelfth!

  12. Nxxx says:

    The best ever. KUTGW John.

  13. lord westoun says:

    Lucas will spend many years in purgatory, forced to watch the sesame street episodes with C3PO and R2D2 on permanent repeat, dubbed into Latin with Ancient Greek subtitles. And he’ll never know if the accent’s are right. R2 in Latin? beepium, beepum, beepii, beepa… wow that was a long time ago.

  14. One man and his mac says:

    But Harrison Ford was never President. James Marshall was tho.

    And you’re seriously asking us CARS readers what we think? Well, you deserve all you get. Me, it’s mainly the sexbots I’m thinking about. And when I’m not thinking about them, it’s .. well, sexbots again I guess.

  15. GL says:

    Lets set the record straight – Greedo missed because Han had just kicked him in the balls. Hard. This will be clear on the Special Edition’s Special Edition.

  16. Curtis says:

    Dear John,
    Next time, you might want to get someone from Canada to work on your American holiday. We don’t celebrate President’s Day… We only celebrate President’s Choice days, which are the days when the new Insider Report comes out (see link).
    Canadians could write some colourful Crazy Apple Rumours, neighbour!
    -Curtis

  17. UhhhDude says:

    Dead Presidents? Never enough of ’em in my wallet.

    Though Alex Hamilton wasn’t a President at all.

    And he was shot by a Vice President.

    In a duel. Not a canned quail hunt gone terribly wrong.

    And Ben Franklin wasn’t a president either. But he did like the ladies, which partially explains why he’s on the $100 bill.

    And why is Woodrow Wilson on the $100,000 bill? How surreal is that?

    (Perhaps because he was dead two years before he actually died, I dunno.)

  18. And another thing.... says:

    And who’s this David Palmer character? Brother of Robert Palmer? Member of Emerson, Lake and Palmer? Someone who shoplifts? C’mon, throw me a bone here!

  19. David Palmer was president on the television series “24.” After he died he went on to do commercials for Allstate.

  20. blank says:

    Best President? Henry Fonda in “Fail Safe,” no question. Peter Sellers in “Dr. Strangelove” may not have been the best President, but hey, he was playing two other parts in the same picture, so cut him some slack, willya? I’d like to see anyone around here do as well. You people are never satisfied!

    Sorry, got a little carried away there. The extra time off will do that…

  21. Personally, I think the country’s gone to hell-in-a-handbasket since Zod left office.

  22. scared monster says:

    Jack Nicholson in Mars Attack vs Bill Pullmann in Independence Day.

    Not fair?

  23. UhhhDude says:

    Jeb Bartlet from “The West Wing” has MS AND the show’s getting canceled. So it’s like he’s already dead!

    Listed as missing in action: Geena Davis’ President What’s-Her-Name from “Commander in Chief: I’m on Hiatus.”

  24. Abe Lincolnlogski says:

    I liked Tim Robbins in the first Austin Powers movie as President. But Peter Sellers rocked as well. You have to love the line “There will be no fighting in the war room”. I like those funny Presidents, the ones that take themselve to seriously alway cause trouble.

    I’m off to the play.

  25. hungry says:

    I think I’ll fix me a sammich since there’s nothing good on the internet today.

  26. iBode says:

    Greedo had obviously been drinking since he had been unable to find Indiana Jones Han Solo.

    So of course his shot sucked.

  27. What’s the big deal over Lucas deciding to change some details of the Star Wars movies? Authors have been doing it for hundreds of years, releasing new editions in which they punched up descriptions and changed dialogue.

    Is Star Wars the Geek New Testament (heh)? Holy, untouchable, and perfect? Geeks certainly quote it as though it is.

  28. g0rdo says:

    29th I think you shuld put tsum funny stuff and not bullshit like this please

    bitches

  29. jinzo012 says:

    I would like to take this opportunity to plug, everything I believe in

    KLM Royal Dutch Airlines
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    Continental Airlines
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    QANTAS
    Singapore Airlines
    Airliners.net
    Air France
    Lufthansa German Airways
    My Penis
    Apple
    Boeing
    Airbus
    Embraer
    and phoenix-simulation.co.uk

  30. ryan says:

    Jack Bauer for President!!!!

  31. Typo says:

    Palmer was doing Allstate commercials long before he was shot. Let’s not for get the “I hope we’re in good hands” comment made about Palmer’s return as the president’s puppetmaster advisor

    And Greedo was only able to shoot first in the special edition because Han was busy teleporting a few inches to the side…ugh. The least Lucas could do is release the originals on DVD.

  32. Limeybloke, in an English accent says:

    Someone with more than half a brain cell for President!

    To Err is Human , To make the same mistake twice smacks of stupidity.

    Seriously, the first time they had to cheat to get enough votes, but there’s just no excuse for voting him in the second time.

    Dumbasses!

    P.S if you can’t find someone with brain cells in double figures then elect a small lump of Jello.
    It wouldn’t be a very dynamic term but it also wouldn’t make so many idoitic decisions.

  33. Nobody you know says:

    Limeybloke – re your postscript:

    Tried that with Jimmah Cahtah, hated it.

    We had no idea a small lump of Jello could make so many idiotic decisions …

  34. Jello is GOOOOOOOD! Hey, what IS Bill Cosby doing these days?

  35. Limeybloke, in an English accent says:

    Mind you Tony Blair is actually very intelligent . . .

    Hmmm maybe all the world leaders caught brain flu at a big conference a few years back.

    Or it could be AN EVIL INVASION PLAN BY PARASITIC BRAIN BUGS FROM ALPHA CENTAURI!!!

    Or possibly just The Entity playing around with high Psychic powers for a laugh.

    Whatever. They’re all crap anyway. Do what I do. Drink lots of Single Malt distillers strength.

    {Hic} (Goes to the Pub)

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