Extremely disappointing news has reached the Crazy Apple Rumors Site headquarters today as sources indicated that the upcoming iPod announcement will not be that of the true video iPod as expected, but another pretend video iPod.
As educated Apple followers will know, the “video” iPod that was released in October was not the true video iPod. October’s faux “video” iPod is really nothing more than a resized photo iPod with a larger hard drive and certain added capabilities.
Such as the ability to play video.
The true video iPod – predicted by rumor sites since the Clinton administration – will be a video powerhouse of untold video power featuring a video screen of gigantic iPod porportions with enhanced video graphics and, most importantly, the ability to play video.
Totally different iPod.
Quite possibly it will also feature free high-speed wireless downloading of movies currently in the theater, force feedback for the Brickles game, free pie and an optional laser cannon for you to use to smite your enemies. These remain unconfirmed, however.
Crazy Apple Rumors Site is advising readers to not be fooled by whatever pretender to the throne of the one true video iPod Apple trots out later this week. Wait for the real thing which Apple will almost certainly announce next month or the month after or sometime during the Time of the Lawgiver when apes rule the Earth.
That’s supposed to be around 2050.
The one, true video iPod’s appearance will be notable for causing Apple fans to experience:
- Weakness in the knees
- Visions of a chorus of angels sounding upon high
- A damp, squishy feeling in the loins
Rest assured that rumor sites will let you know when the one true video iPod has arrived.