Reports are coming in that a tantalizing new Apple product has been delayed over concerns that it is just too super-duper cool.
Sources indicate that the company is concerned that unless it is able to supply at least one – and perhaps two – units to each and every person on the face of the planet, it will face not only lawsuits, but all-out rioting in the streets.
“It’s rare that working for a technology company makes you afraid for global geo-political stability,” said a source in Apple hardware engineering who declined to be identified, “but we really need to ramp up production on this one before release.
“There are about 6.5 billion people in the world right now. And, frankly, we’re a little concerned we’re not going to be able to find capacity. Or components.
“Or cardboard for the boxes they’re gonna come in.”
The source did emphasize that the device was totally cool and mentioned that he has recently taken to sleeping on the floor of his cube just to be near it.
Information on the new device is extremely sketchy at this point, but Crazy Apple Rumors Site was able to confirm that it will be the size of a PSP with the power of a cluster of 150 Power Mac G5s and will allow for input via keyboard, pen, voice or modulated brain waves from adhesive sensors placed on the user’s scalp.
It’s also possible it’ll be nothing like that at all, but be super-freaky wicked in some other way.
But one thing is for certain – it will be shiny and come in an understated cardboard box with a tasteful picture of the product on it.
And, despite its utter coolness, people are certain to complain it’s too expensive no matter how much it costs.
Shortly before they shell out whatever it will cost to buy one.
Apple declined to comment for this story officially, but shifted uncomfortably in its seat.