22 Mar 06Editorial: France Full Of Stupid Stupidheads Who Are Stupid.

According to Wikipedia, France is “a country whose metropolitan territory is located in Western Europe, and that is further made up of a collection of overseas islands and territories located in other continents.”

But, alas, that is but half the story.

For France is also full of stupid stupidheads who are stupid.

There is little substance to the French government’s argument that Apple’s iTunes Music Store represents a monopoly threat.

Despite the many, many blog posts, forum comments and drunken barroom rants crowing “Apple’s got the monopoly now, baybee!” and “How’s it feel now that the foot’s on the other shoe [sic], Windoze loozahs?!” and “Hey, while you were in the bathroom, I dunked my testicles in that beer you just drank out of, Robert Scoble!” there is no real evidence that Apple has a monopoly on digital music players or online music sales.

[Editor: Seriously, stop that, you guys. None of the other people in the bar want to see your testicles – let alone see you dunk them in anything – even if it is Scoble’s beer. Which is hilarious by the way. But still… cut it out.]

Anyone who has followed the technology industry knows that Microsoft is the monopolistic tyrant and Apple is the embattled underdog. It’s established technology industry canon. Perhaps the French government – drunk on fine wines and gorged on tasty pastries – fell asleep during the last twenty minutes of Pirates of Silicon Valley, but the rest of us didn’t.

I, for example, never saw it at all.

Anthony Michael Hall gives me hives.

But in summary, the French government would do well to consider what happened to Marie Antoinette when she famously said of the French people “Let them use Rios”, or the 18th century equivalent thereof.

I don’t know the whole story but I believe she was fined quite substantially.

No Responses to “Editorial: France Full Of Stupid Stupidheads Who Are Stupid.”

  1. First says:

    I wondered why the beer tasted funny.

  2. nobody says:

    I wonder if the pastries were really tasty, or just kind of tasty?

  3. Le Choeur Des Garçons Mauvais Invisibles says:

    STUPIDE! STUPIDE! STUPIDE! STUPIDE! STUPIDE! STUPIDE! STUPIDE! STUPIDE!
    STUPIDE! STUPIDE! STUPIDE! STUPIDE! STUPIDE! STUPIDE! STUPIDE! STUPIDE!
    STUPIDE! STUPIDE! STUPIDE! STUPIDE! STUPIDE! STUPIDE! STUPIDE! STUPIDE!
    STUPIDE! STUPIDE! STUPIDE! STUPIDE! STUPIDE! STUPIDE! STUPIDE! STUPIDE!

  4. Ich habe über fünfzig französischen Urheberrechtsgesetzen, über dem Ardennes Wald geschossen und umgebracht.

    Danke sehr,

    -Manny

  5. Piggy says:

    Je suis un grand cachon Anglais.

  6. comacnut says:

    I fart in your general direction.

  7. Nxxx says:

    Moltz,
    Is decapitation considered a substantial fine then?

  8. France says:

    Zut alors, we surrender.

    We apologize for ze trouble.

    Are there any folks you need help getting rid of? We could, how you say, put all the Nomad users on a train for you and then look the other way, if you thought it might help.

  9. Huh? says:

    I was going to post something witty, but I gotta go take care of the space monkeys in the engine room….

    …gorram monkeys….

    moo

  10. Booyah says:

    this is awesome, no one has claimed place yet….I hate the French too, anything unAmerican for that matter. Except Canada. Canada is cool

  11. GingerSex says:

    Surrender?

    I dont’ think the French will back down on something so big (he,he).

    Not before I set up for…

  12. Truy says:

    Why don’t they force Microsoft to run Macintosh software on PC’s?
    This is one story where the real thing is more crazy that the CARS article.

  13. One man and his mac says:

    CARS is edited? Well cover me with flour and eggs and bake me for forty minutes!

  14. GordonC says:

    Why is this an editorial on a rumour site?

    The information presented here about the French is a fact, not an opinion or a conjecture.

  15. stank says:

    GordonC, sweety, babycakes, check out some of the other stories on CARS. You will get the idea.

    http://www.crazyapplerumors.com/?p=327

  16. The 11th Post says:

    The 11the Post just past…

  17. Ben Kenobi says:

    Young Padawan,

    Isn’t it amazing how they use the dark side of the force to make people forget about the ability to burn your music to an audio CD which can be played in ANY CD player, or load your own CDs onto your iPod?

    “These are not the abilities you are looking for”

    Oh yes, the iTunes music is locked into the iPod, and the iPod can’t play any music other than protected iTunes downloads. OR CAN IT?

    (insert suspenceful music here)

    And remember, the farce – er, the force – will be with you, ALWAYS!

    Sincerely,
    Ben “Obiwan” Kenobi

  18. Pierre says:

    To France and GingerSex

    One of my great grand father died at the Verdun battle
    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Battle_of_verdun

    My grand father died as an FFI
    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Forces_Françaises_de_l%27Intérieur

    => would you please stop refering the French people as a surrending nation

    I am appealed that 3 years after the start of your disastrous Irak War II, the incredible “no WMD” fiasco,… you are still refering to the French bashing propaganda of the US administration…

    And BTW, let’s continu the wikipedia education. It looks like behind France’s post there is a man with Curl as a pseudo that lives in Japan…
    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Category:Japanese_war_crimes

  19. UhhhDude says:

    Bill Gates est une stupide-tête stupide qui est stupide.

    (Proof positive that you can say just about anything in French and still sound suave and intelligent.)

  20. NWJR says:

    I know you are, but what am I?

  21. Tha Man says:

    Your mother was a hamster, and your father smelt…of elderberries!!

  22. fatbo says:

    vingt et un!

  23. Ace Deuce says:

    Those of us in the US should remember that the stupidheads gave us the support we needed to prevail over the king and establish our independence.

    Wait, my ancestors were still in the Baltic back then. Never mind!

  24. Mais Non!, Monsieur Deuce!

    *I* supported the Americans against the English King, and the stupides cut my head off a few years later!

    Love,

    Louie

  25. buttmunch says:

    windows is the best mac sux

  26. Brent says:

    Not to open a big can o’ worms, but the French committed only nominal support to the American revolution, and withheld quite a lot. There’s a reason America had to get lots of loans from the Dutch; France gave America little money and almost no military support. It was mostly moral support because an American revolution would cause problems for the British.

    Which just goes to prove…not much, I guess.

  27. Chris says:

    So do the French pronounce it, “Ah Tunes”?

  28. g0rdo says:

    27th wooowwwww

    bitches

  29. Anonymous says:

    No we pronunce I Tunes, the english way.

    Seriously … definitly my country sux

  30. Chris says:

    France has their shit together in some ways that this country doesn’t.

  31. Chris says:

    Something about Apple playing Monopoly?

    I’m not really a fan of these kind of board games, but unless Steve Jobs has both the Water Works and the Electric Company and keeps landing on Free Parking, I really don’t see what the french are so worked up about.

    Buy all four railroads, and the odds will fall in your favour.

  32. GingerSex says:

    In response to Pierre at post 18.

    My most sincere apologies, my grandfather fought in the Pacific during WW2 and to demean the actions of very brave men and women is insensitive and wrong. In terms of the Allied effort let us not forget that the eventual downfall of the Nazis was their desire to conquer Russia and not the intervention of the Americans.

    But that aside, the French (generalization I know) are making a mess of the iTunes situation, non?

  33. Brent says:

    GingerSex wrote: “In terms of the Allied effort let us not forget that the eventual downfall of the Nazis was their desire to conquer Russia and not the intervention of the Americans.”

    LOL

  34. John C. Randolph says:

    While it is true that the decision to attack Russia was probably Hitler’s single greatest mistake, the Russian’s ability to fight at all depended on material support from the United States.

    Unfortunately for Russia, Stalin was nearly as incompetent as Hitler as a military leader. The war could have been over as much as two years earlier, if the army had shot Stalin for treason the day that Hitler launched his invasion.

    -jcr

  35. John C. Randolph says:

    Pierre,

    There were many brave French soldiers who fought valiantly in both world wars, both on the front lines and in resistance. It is regrettable that the traitor Petain, and the leadership who failed to act decisively when Hitler first violated the Treaty of Versailles, left France with such a damaged reputation. The abject cowardice shown by France’s leaders was not the fault of the soldiers.

    -jcr

  36. “Anthony Michael Hall gives me hives.”

    That makes three of us!

    “Bill Gates est une stupide-tête stupide qui est stupide.”

    Wait. Wait, I know this from high school French. Let’s see… I ate one tiny-souffle and barfed-up (a) souffle. Wait, oh nevermind. I got a D- anyway.

    And speaking of the French in WWII, or was that WWWII? The French were very helpful, like Cpl. Louis LeBeau cooking all those snacks for Sgt. Schultz to keep him occupied or to bribe him. Plus he could squeeze into those tiny spots the bigger prisoners could not get to, for planting explosives or, you know, planting strudel.

  37. LimeyBloke, in an English accent says:

    Hey the French Law sounds fairly sensible.
    That is if they can manage to make sure that M$ adheres to the rule to use only open-standard non-tampered with codecs.
    Some hope, M$ still isn’t complying with European Anti-trust laws after the Yanks (or more accurately the corrupt Bush Administration) caved in.
    The French themselves have a very laissez-faire attitude to European Laws such as ‘ you’re not allowed to burn trucks of British Sheep just because you’re incapable of decent farming without enormous EU subsidies yourselves’

    PS You shouldn’t call the French ‘Garlic-Munching Surrender-Frogs’ or similar.

    Not If you’re American anyway.

    It’s our job.

  38. Man Koopjan says:

    Stupid movie, their teeth would never have been so white back in those days.

  39. Free says:

    Chat with live girls for free…

  40. felisha says:

    uuuum excuse all of u who are bad mouthing the french!!!!! and calling them stupid because you dont know how the french helped in the french revolution and changed how things ende for the americans! and what right do you have calling us stupid when you’re the ones that know nothing!!!!!

  41. felisha says:

    uuuum excuse all of u who are bad mouthing the french!!!!! and calling them stupid because you dont know how the french helped in the american revolution and changed how things ended for the americans! and what right do you have calling us stupid when you’re the ones that know nothing!!!!!

  42. felisha says:

    french people are crazy so id watch out if i were you before we cut your head off!!!!!

  43. JOEY GARCIA says:

    Cookies and milk with water and cookies and milk and water

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