With the advent of Burst.com’s lawsuit against Apple, demographers now say that nearly every person in the world is in one way or another a litigant against Apple.
Dr. Neil Sawin of the University of Washington said “So many people are now direct litigants against Apple, but many more are involved in class action suits or are shareholders or employees of companies suing Apple for trademark or copyright violations.”
Sawin’s team of researchers has found one individual out of the world’s 6.5 billion people who is not in any way part of a lawsuit against Apple.
“He holds no patents, owns no Apple products and has not entered into a previous binding contract with Apple related to the use of copyrighted logos of trade names,” Sawin said.
Nuagobe Machungo, an 11-year-old goat herder from Mozamibique, was surprised to hear of his unique status.
Speaking through a translator, Machungo, clearly surprised at his sudden notoriety, said “I am but a simple goat herder. I do not mean anyone any harm.
“I sleep in the hills with my flock,” he added, pointing to the hills as if for emphasis.
Disturbingly for Apple, however, Machungo indicated that he was thinking of selling one of his goats to buy an iPod shuffle so he could listen to the Red Hot Chili Peppers during the long periods of time he is roaming the hills with the herd, looking for grazing pastures.
“I like the song ‘Californication’,” Machungo said, smiling broadly. “Although I do not understand what it means.”
Apple declined to comment for this story, but sources inside the company indicate that CEO Steve Jobs is considering giving Machungo a complimentary iPod shuffle in order to stay on his good side.