30 May 06Mac Community Flooded With Hillbilly Windows Users.

MacNewsWorld reports today that investment banks are bullish on Apple in large part because of the iPod “halo effect”, where customer satisfaction with the iPod results in the purchase of a Mac.

But as more and more people switch from Windows to the Mac, Mac users these days are taking a look around and concluding “There goes the neighborhood.”

An informal survey of the Mac community conducted by Crazy Apple Rumors Site revealed that many feel that the influx of former Windows users has effectively cheapened the overall quality of the Macintosh experience.

“I was in an Apple Store yesterday and I was appalled at the quality of the customers, said the Wall Street Journal’s Walt Mossberg. “In the span of five minutes I saw a woman with an ‘I’m the best grandma!’ t-shirt and a grown man with one of those rat tails.

“Frankly, I didn’t even think these people were allowed on Fifth Avenue, let alone the Apple Store.”

But New York is not the only place members of the Mac community were expressing dismay at having to share their favorite platform with slack-jawed mouth breathers just bused in from Windows, USA. Users in Tennessee were likewise sickened.

“Is this the kind of people we want in the Macintosh community?” asked Shawn King of Your Mac Life. “With their polyester stretch pants and their mustaches and their minivans and their According to Jim fan fiction?

According to Jim fan fiction! I’ve seen it! It’s horrible! I mean, of course it’s horrible, it’s based on According to Jim! It has to be horrible by definition!”

Several law firms have expressed interest in starting a class action lawsuit against Apple to have the influx of former Windows users stopped before more damage is done.

No Responses to “Mac Community Flooded With Hillbilly Windows Users.”

  1. VirgoSum says:

    First Time.

  2. MCJE says:

    I, too, claim first.

  3. Anonymous says:


  4. Streetrabbit says:

    Moltz, you’ve been going through my archives!

    Is it worth a lawsuit?

    Didn’t think so. A CARS tee-shirt it is then.

  5. Huh? says:

    Too true…
    I walked into an Apple Store just the other day, and was appaled at myself. Still not sure why.

    My Pants™ still liked me though.


  6. Nxxx says:

    It is even worse in Britain. They do not stand still for the National Anthem and sneer at the Queen and Tony Blair. And that’s just the Linux users. The ex-Window users spit and swear as well. At least DOS users were literate.

    Gord did me rit thet?

  7. Ventzi says:


    Although I wanted to be 9th

    And the Windows guys…
    …they can’t even imagine that there is Mac-only software…
    …isn’t that a shame?

  8. Step says:

    11th! Yeah!

  9. Step says:

    um, or not.

  10. Huh? says:

    All this pre-mature posting… *phew* Seventh! nope… Eleven… sorry…

    If you all cant control your urges, John is gonna take some drastic measures. I can see it coming now…

    Just a bit of self-control- that’s all it takes…

  11. Simon "Chucklehead" Simpleton says:

    Hey, them’s my cousins that y’all are disrespectin’– and it makes me mad somethin’ fierce!

  12. Ace Deuce says:

    Baker’s Dozenth!

  13. Serial offender says:

    It’s inna constEEtooshun, goddammit! I gots the right to bear iPods, ‘n’ other Apple-branded peripherals, ‘n’ shit. Jeeezus, how many kids I leave the house with??

  14. Werner Waimarana says:


  15. Serial offender says:

    Yeah? Thanks, pal. Sure seemed like a lot.

  16. Band says:


  17. Well I was just in the Chandler store and sure there was a white trash grandma… but that 14 year old girl with the baby was hot!!!! Talk about your Teenage MILFs!!!!

    I welcome the slack jawed trailer park community with open arms… sure they may be smelly tweakers… but those youngin’s sure are horny and somebody needs to lead the next generation of porn stars… the ones we have now can barely be called barely legal!!!

  18. sgazzetti says:

    They could keep some of the worst trailer-trash out simply by doubling prices. A $4000 MacBook Pro translates into a whole heap of Bartle’s & Jaymeses.

  19. Mr. Bartle says:

    Incidentaly Mr. Jaymes bought a MacBook just the other day. He say’s to me “Now I can get my Mack on with my Mac on.”

    And I thank you for your support.

  20. UhhhDude says:

    What are all these slack-jawed yokels gonna do when they realize that Macs don’t come with a slide-out drink holder?

    (That’s a tray-loading DVD drive to the rest of us.)

  21. NWJR says:

    I blame Intel.

  22. Anonymous says:

    “Is these the kind of people…”

    Is these? I didn’t realize Shawn King was a hillbilly too.

  23. blank says:

    I didn’t spend years working to lose my hayseed accent in order to be taken seriously in a professional context just to be surrounded by a passel o’ bubbas talkin’ all hick ’til I’m doin’ it m’self ‘thout knowin’ it!

    Tarnation! It done did anywho…

  24. moparchris says:

    Well, I guess I’ll switch back to Linux.

  25. John Moltz says:

    King’s Canadian so it was probably the accent that fooled us. The quote is magically fixed. It is as if it never were a typo. Let us never speak of it again.

  26. theholymacintosh says:

    His Steveness should declare that, unless you were loyal to Apple through the OS 7 era, you are not allowed to own a Mac.

  27. moparchris says:

    I remember programming on the Apple II, what system was that?

  28. giggity says:

    Overheard at the Genius Bar: “I dropped a book on my iBook.”
    Response: “Judging from that crack, it must’ve been about a six hundred pound book.”

    Were Windows users forced to carry around Mac Portables for a month, much like an expectant mother might carry around a sack of flour… well, that would prove their worthiness to me.

  29. Tangy gnat says:

    My girlfriend has been carrying a sack of flour with her everywhere. Is she trying to tell me something?

  30. Rev says:

    “According to Jim” fan fiction? Sounds familiar, but not quite as good as the spin-off show I’ve been trying to shop around Hollywood lately-
    “Everybody Fists Raymond.”
    Oh, and wasn’t the Apple ][ programmed in MS Basic?
    MS as in… oh never mind.

  31. giggity says:

    She’s probably telling you she wants a MacBook Pro.

    Or, you know, for the next eighteen years, you won’t be able to afford one. Whichever.

  32. Anonymous says:

    Actually Moltz, I was thinking the correct form would be
    “Are these”, seeing as how “people” is plural and all.

    But your way is alright, I suppose.

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  36. Daniel says:

    I have to say, that I could not agree with you in 100% regarding Mac Community Flooded With Hillbilly Windows Users., but it’s just my opinion, which could be wrong 🙂

  37. cletus says:

    yeah! mee two I to want all the free stuff!