01 Jun 06Apple Announces Something.

Apple announced something today at a press conference at the company’s Cupertino campus. Unfortunately, all accounts of the event were devoid of any details of what, exactly, it was that Apple announced.

This incident truly brings into question the company’s decision to use supermodel spokespersons, which male reporters apparently find rather distracting.

According to the New York Post’s Page Six “We Hear…” section, supermodel Gisele Bundchen shot a campaign for Apple’s “new Mac line” last week. Bundchen then flew to Cupertino where she announced…

Uh… something.

Reached at his office shortly after the event, Macworld magazine editor Jason Snell said “You know, the whole thing was kind of a blur. I remember a bikini and…

“I don’t really remember anything else.”

Analysts cannot decide whether Apple’s new program is ill-advised or a stroke of genius. If the company hopes to attract attention to new Intel-based Macs, hot babes in bikinis may distract more than reporters.

However, if the company was announcing that it was yet again the subject of a lawsuit, a distraction might be just the thing.

“I guess it was bad,” said the New York Times’ David Pogue. “But, honestly, I couldn’t tell you. Wasn’t listening. There was lycra and skin and…

“Oh, mama…”

Despite the controversy, many Mac users have asked Apple to escalate the new policy to naked hot spokesbabes.

No Responses to “Apple Announces Something.”

  1. Holger says:

    Jaaaaaaaaaaaaa…. Sieg!

  2. Huh? says:



    Something about Pants™….



  3. Holger says:

    I´ll retire now!

  4. Holger says:

    Was never that easy before…

  5. Holger says:

    That victory tastes good!

  6. John Moltz says:

    Well, you’re leaving a bad taste in everyone else’s mouth.

  7. silta says:


  8. silta says:

    Within the top ten!!


  9. jobo da hobo says:


  10. cdn, eh? says:

    Fashionably late for Eleventh!!!


  11. Roboto says:

    I wish they’d invite us plebs to those kinda events.
    Girls and Macs, its like total geek heaven. 😀

  12. Nxxx says:

    Young Johnny,

    You are too modest. I revealed that you and Britney are never seen together and wrongly deduced that you were one and the same.

    You are far superior, actually being Gisele Bundchen as well as the ace rumor reporter.

    Long live Moltz/Bundchen.

  13. Ace Deuce says:

    Sweat sexteen.

  14. Rael Imperial Aerosol Kid says:

    Nothing to say. Just trying out the new handle.

  15. Tom says:

    Spokesbabes. Ha!

  16. NWJR says:

    That’s cruel. Most hardcore Mac geeks have never even SEEN a woman before. What do you expect?

  17. Ahnyer Keester says:

    This post was great! It was about…something… I remember that there was a bikini and Moltz has some writing somewhere on the same page. It he was… Did I mention the bikini?

  18. UhhhDude says:

    It’s very hard to type with only one hand.

  19. burleylizhurley says:

    I want to see Jobs in a thong

  20. The Highly Esteemed YoYo says:

    I’m back… but I uh forget what I was going to… uh… going to …

  21. Streetrabbit says:

    Aw jeez! Yesterday Andy Ihnatko shoots me and today this!

    I want back in!

    LET ME BACK IN!!!!

  22. A priest, a rabbi, and Scrappy Doo says:

    I can understand…I never made it past the weblink to that goddess.

    I just love the way she holds her melons here: http://models.home.att.net/gbundchen/swimsuit/original/sw29.jpg

  23. blank says:

    Apple are wasting this on product announcements. Where they really need this kind of help is in their quarterly financial phone calls. As is, those things are boring enough to make you chew your own head off at the neck in order to escape.

    For this to work, they’d need to televise the phone calls, of course.

  24. Karmette says:

    Does she have an iliocaecal valve?

  25. Oh man, for a second there I thought I had clicked on the OTHER site I have bookmarked…

  26. The Doctor says:

    Karmette, I believe you mean ileocaecal valve…


  27. “ileocaecal valve”

    Now there’s a phrase you do not want to enter into google images.

    Take my word, that is not a good way to find out what it means.

  28. PYFG says:

    God, I miss the Naked Mole Rat.

    Oh, sorry… LAST POST!