Fun in the Sun

Hey! The weather’s great in Tacoma and we’ve officially declared it “Fun in the Sun” days here at the top secret Crazy Apple Rumors Site headquarters! Here’s our itinerary for the week:

MONDAY: Schiller’s coming over for barbecued bison burgers and beers!

TUESDAY: Driving all night until we get to John Dvorak’s place, with the top down and the music blaring and the hydraulic-converted 1963 Chevy Impala all hoppin’, wearing our sleeveless t-shirts and our sunglasses – even though it’s totally dark out and stuff but we’re just that cool – and leanin’ out of the car and clankin’ some Coke bottles together and yellin’ “Dvooooooooooorak! C’mout-n-plaaaaay-ay!”

And then pretty much turning around and driving all the way home, leaving him standing on his porch in his bathrobe totally freaked out.

WEDNESDAY: Sprinting barefoot back and forth across the parking lot yelling “OUCH! OWIE! HOT! HOT! OWIE! OOCH! OUCH! OUCH! HOT!” with a MacBook Pro strapped to each foot.

THURSDAY: Drinking mojitos and watching Amanda Congdon and Masako engage in a 3-hour-long topless slow kiss in the CARS pool.

FRIDAY: Realizing Thursday was just an alcohol-inspired dream sequence, but not really minding because – at the end of the day – we’ll still have the memories.

Sounds like a full week! Which means, of course, we won’t have time for monitoring rumors or checking for Apple press releases or posting or, really, bathing.

But… you understand.

What?

You don’t?

Oh.

Well… I…

Oh, hey, Phil! Have a delicious Mirror Pond Pale Ale™!

[This edition of Crazy Apple Rumors Site will, if we have anything to say about it, one day be brought to you by Deschutes Brewery, makers of Mirror Pond Pale Ale™.]

44 thoughts on “Fun in the Sun”

  1. Oh you did not just say you’re taking the week off.
    Both my Pants™ and my Shorts™ are royally ticked off.

    I, of course understand.

    moo

  2. Ah, remember that furious C64 game “Fun in the sun”, anyone? Riding these nice ponies on the beach felt like heaven….

  3. Well, Huh?, technically, since we posted something today, we’re not “taking the week off.” We’re just taking four days off. The Entity will pay us all in full for Monday.

    And, hell, I’d work for free on Thursday.

  4. Gee, I didn’t look at it that way John. And hey, as long as you get paid for it…

    I’ll see if I can get my Shorts™ and Pants™ to retract their statements.
    They’re kinda stubborn, though.

    Um… you might just wanna ignore them, John.

    Moo

  5. A fun in the sun week in Tacoma without a stop at Frisko Freeze? Well, I sir, call shenanigans!

  6. Moltz, don’t be praising this hellisly hot weather. My poor G5 has been burning up in this blasted heat. The drive bay fan has been running at 4k for the past two days.

    MARK

  7. So, this Thursday thing. That’s a regular fixture now, yes? Only there’s this caller from one or two columns ago wanting to know if she’d rate a place in the in-pool pucker-up. Actuality of the event notwithstanding.
    I say no. I mean if we ditch our standards, then – hell – what’s next? Again, actuality of the event notwithstanding.

  8. I have believed everything I have read on this site since 1976, but I have to admit a double-take (a quadruple take, if I am honest) at the phrase “pay us all in full for Monday”.

    The idea you are paid at all is so unbelievable that it has had drastic consequences on my psyche, and has let to a rather expected and dramatic turn of psychological events that are rather unrepeatable. Suffice to say, this may be my first and last post.

    Glory be. ?16th

  9. I’ll be showing up on Thursday will all kinds of Hi-Def Video equipment. Even if it is a dream. Keep one of those sissy Pale Ales cold for me!

  10. The thought of running with MacBooks strapped to my feet just felt so wrong. All that pretty plastic… crunch crunch crunch

  11. Mykie,

    You know, I’ve lived and worked in Tacoma for over ten years and I’ve never been to Frisko Freeze. It’s a travesty. I have, however, been to Mickie Burger. Smaller, less famous, but quite delicious. I recommend it to all who choose Tacoma as their vacation destination.

    Well, I *will* as soon as someone chooses Tacoma as their vacation destination.

  12. I hate to mention it, but if you “still have the memories,” you’re not drinking enough. It takes practice, so keep at it! Ganbatte!

    Kanpai!

  13. CARS has a pool at the office? Is it just one of those kiddy wading pools or is it a full blown in ground type of deal?

  14. Oh, full-blown in-ground. Sort of kidney-bean shaped. Italian tile bottom. Not that sandpapery concrete you often find. It’s large, but more of a soaking pool than a lap pool. Just something to reduce job-related stress. You know.

    Don’t all 7-employee small businesses have them?

  15. We have a swimming pool. Well, it’s more of a garden tub, but we did install the diving platform.

  16. If the helicopter is equipped with pontoons, the pool will make a decent helipad. The bathers simply need to dive to the bottom during landings.

    Where does CARS park their strech limo?

  17. OUCH! OUCH! OUCH! OUCH! OUCH! OUCH! OUCH! OUCH! OUCH! OUCH! OUCH!
    OUCH! OUCH! OUCH! OUCH! OUCH! OUCH! OUCH! OUCH! OUCH! OUCH! OUCH!
    OUCH! OUCH! OUCH! OUCH! OUCH! OUCH! OUCH! OUCH! OUCH! OUCH! OUCH!
    OUCH! OUCH! OUCH! OUCH! OUCH! OUCH! OUCH! OUCH! OUCH! OUCH! OUCH!

  18. It would be impressive if Amanda Congdon and Masako could hold their breath for 3 hours.

    In the topless pool.

    Together.

    Oh, wait, that isn’t….

    That’s just wrong. I still want Masako to come back. She be hot.

  19. Well, he started out ok, just quoting other people, then it just kinda spiraled downward from there.
    Leopard modeled as to what Vista was going to be? Most of (the new) Vista is based on what OS X is.

    My Pants™ have gone to slap Rob. Just out of principle.
    My Shorts™ will not participate because of the last paragraph.

    moo

  20. rob enderle…sigh…

    THis dude is soooo stupid. The factual errors by themselves are overwhelming..

  21. Is message for Crazy (theme of week) Rumors Site staff:

    Hajimemashite. My name Uguruko. Am Japanese bisexual neanderthal just thawed out. (What wrong with global warming? I like it fine.) And this is place for me! I want love triangle with so sexy Ugluk and so sexy Masako! And I can be helping with site: be cover girl, eat Krispy Kremes, eat Howard (he look so tasty! No eat dogs in Japan now, but in my time – ooooooo, such tasty barbeque.) And my have goatee like all Crazy Rumor staff (what wrong with Masako goatee? Why it fall out?) Please tell me address so I start swimming over.

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