26 Jun 06Fun in the Sun

Hey! The weather’s great in Tacoma and we’ve officially declared it “Fun in the Sun” days here at the top secret Crazy Apple Rumors Site headquarters! Here’s our itinerary for the week:

MONDAY: Schiller’s coming over for barbecued bison burgers and beers!

TUESDAY: Driving all night until we get to John Dvorak’s place, with the top down and the music blaring and the hydraulic-converted 1963 Chevy Impala all hoppin’, wearing our sleeveless t-shirts and our sunglasses – even though it’s totally dark out and stuff but we’re just that cool – and leanin’ out of the car and clankin’ some Coke bottles together and yellin’ “Dvooooooooooorak! C’mout-n-plaaaaay-ay!”

And then pretty much turning around and driving all the way home, leaving him standing on his porch in his bathrobe totally freaked out.

WEDNESDAY: Sprinting barefoot back and forth across the parking lot yelling “OUCH! OWIE! HOT! HOT! OWIE! OOCH! OUCH! OUCH! HOT!” with a MacBook Pro strapped to each foot.

THURSDAY: Drinking mojitos and watching Amanda Congdon and Masako engage in a 3-hour-long topless slow kiss in the CARS pool.

FRIDAY: Realizing Thursday was just an alcohol-inspired dream sequence, but not really minding because – at the end of the day – we’ll still have the memories.

Sounds like a full week! Which means, of course, we won’t have time for monitoring rumors or checking for Apple press releases or posting or, really, bathing.

But… you understand.

What?

You don’t?

Oh.

Well… I…

Oh, hey, Phil! Have a delicious Mirror Pond Pale Ale™!

[This edition of Crazy Apple Rumors Site will, if we have anything to say about it, one day be brought to you by Deschutes Brewery, makers of Mirror Pond Pale Ale™.]

44 Responses to “Fun in the Sun”

  1. stridey says:

    No. No, I don’t.

  2. John Moltz says:

    Yep. See. I knew it.

  3. Huh? says:

    Oh you did not just say you’re taking the week off.
    Both my Pants™ and my Shorts™ are royally ticked off.

    I, of course understand.

    moo

  4. His Steveness says:

    Ah, remember that furious C64 game “Fun in the sun”, anyone? Riding these nice ponies on the beach felt like heaven….

  5. His Steveness says:

    Ooops, I am denying ever having touched Tramiels evil work…

  6. Ace Deuce says:

    Okay, you fooled me with Wednesday’s item. Nice switcharoo.

  7. John Moltz says:

    Well, Huh?, technically, since we posted something today, we’re not “taking the week off.” We’re just taking four days off. The Entity will pay us all in full for Monday.

    And, hell, I’d work for free on Thursday.

  8. woot woot week of it great after working a lot

  9. Huh? says:

    Gee, I didn’t look at it that way John. And hey, as long as you get paid for it…

    I’ll see if I can get my Shorts™ and Pants™ to retract their statements.
    They’re kinda stubborn, though.

    Um… you might just wanna ignore them, John.

    Moo

  10. Mykie says:

    A fun in the sun week in Tacoma without a stop at Frisko Freeze? Well, I sir, call shenanigans!

  11. Mason says:

    Eleventeenth!

    Man, I hope someone posts about Thursday…

  12. Carl says:

    I’ll drink a flagon in honor of 11.

  13. The Apple Rumor Sites Employees Group says:

    Moltz,
    Your dismissed for gross dereliction of duty.

  14. Psyko says:

    Moltz, don’t be praising this hellisly hot weather. My poor G5 has been burning up in this blasted heat. The drive bay fan has been running at 4k for the past two days.

    MARK

  15. Werner Waimarana says:

    So, this Thursday thing. That’s a regular fixture now, yes? Only there’s this caller from one or two columns ago wanting to know if she’d rate a place in the in-pool pucker-up. Actuality of the event notwithstanding.
    I say no. I mean if we ditch our standards, then – hell – what’s next? Again, actuality of the event notwithstanding.

  16. Mark says:

    I have believed everything I have read on this site since 1976, but I have to admit a double-take (a quadruple take, if I am honest) at the phrase “pay us all in full for Monday”.

    The idea you are paid at all is so unbelievable that it has had drastic consequences on my psyche, and has let to a rather expected and dramatic turn of psychological events that are rather unrepeatable. Suffice to say, this may be my first and last post.

    Glory be. ?16th

  17. UhhhDude says:

    I’ll be showing up on Thursday will all kinds of Hi-Def Video equipment. Even if it is a dream. Keep one of those sissy Pale Ales cold for me!

  18. meelash says:

    John Dvorak…grrrrrrrr…

  19. NWJR says:

    Now you’ve given me a reason to read Dvorak so I can see what his reaction will be.

  20. Typo says:

    The thought of running with MacBooks strapped to my feet just felt so wrong. All that pretty plastic… crunch crunch crunch

  21. John Moltz says:

    Mykie,

    You know, I’ve lived and worked in Tacoma for over ten years and I’ve never been to Frisko Freeze. It’s a travesty. I have, however, been to Mickie Burger. Smaller, less famous, but quite delicious. I recommend it to all who choose Tacoma as their vacation destination.

    Well, I *will* as soon as someone chooses Tacoma as their vacation destination.

  22. Saikou Yuden says:

    I hate to mention it, but if you “still have the memories,” you’re not drinking enough. It takes practice, so keep at it! Ganbatte!

    Kanpai!

  23. Anonymous says:

    Thursday, HD, H.264

  24. UhhhDude says:

    You betcha. Three-camera setup, studio lights and everything.

  25. comacnut says:

    CARS has a pool at the office? Is it just one of those kiddy wading pools or is it a full blown in ground type of deal?

  26. John Moltz says:

    Oh, full-blown in-ground. Sort of kidney-bean shaped. Italian tile bottom. Not that sandpapery concrete you often find. It’s large, but more of a soaking pool than a lap pool. Just something to reduce job-related stress. You know.

    Don’t all 7-employee small businesses have them?

  27. Nxxx says:

    What about a helicopter pad? You must have a helicopter pad.

  28. A priest, a rabbi, and a very scared altar boy says:

    We have a swimming pool. Well, it’s more of a garden tub, but we did install the diving platform.

  29. Ace Deuce says:

    If the helicopter is equipped with pontoons, the pool will make a decent helipad. The bathers simply need to dive to the bottom during landings.

    Where does CARS park their strech limo?

  30. Ficko says:

    They’re all telescopic, with reinforced roofs so it’s one on top of the other.

  31. The Invisible Evil Barefoot Boys' Choir says:

    OUCH! OUCH! OUCH! OUCH! OUCH! OUCH! OUCH! OUCH! OUCH! OUCH! OUCH!
    OUCH! OUCH! OUCH! OUCH! OUCH! OUCH! OUCH! OUCH! OUCH! OUCH! OUCH!
    OUCH! OUCH! OUCH! OUCH! OUCH! OUCH! OUCH! OUCH! OUCH! OUCH! OUCH!
    OUCH! OUCH! OUCH! OUCH! OUCH! OUCH! OUCH! OUCH! OUCH! OUCH! OUCH!

  32. Ahnyer Keester says:

    It would be impressive if Amanda Congdon and Masako could hold their breath for 3 hours.

    In the topless pool.

    Together.

    Oh, wait, that isn’t….

    That’s just wrong. I still want Masako to come back. She be hot.

  33. 2000guitars says:

    Does this mean that there’d be a still or two to update her staff photo? ????

  34. UhhhDude says:

    According to Moltz, today’s slow-kiss session is still on. However, there are a couple of last-minute replacements.

    Needless to say, the video shoot is off.

  35. shawk says:

    Good god.
    I just read a Rob Enderle column that made some limited amount of sense.
    Please kill me.

  36. Huh? says:

    Well, he started out ok, just quoting other people, then it just kinda spiraled downward from there.
    Leopard modeled as to what Vista was going to be? Most of (the new) Vista is based on what OS X is.

    My Pants™ have gone to slap Rob. Just out of principle.
    My Shorts™ will not participate because of the last paragraph.

    moo

  37. meelash says:

    rob enderle…sigh…

    THis dude is soooo stupid. The factual errors by themselves are overwhelming..

  38. blank says:

    Where’s Thor in all this?

  39. John Moltz says:

    Who do you think invited Amanda over?

  40. Jennifer Frickin' Connelly says:

    Amanda Congdon isn’t all that hot.

    Love,

    Jen.

  41. Salma Hayek says:

    Who’s to say who is hot or not?

  42. Uguruko says:

    Is message for Crazy (theme of week) Rumors Site staff:

    Hajimemashite. My name Uguruko. Am Japanese bisexual neanderthal just thawed out. (What wrong with global warming? I like it fine.) And this is place for me! I want love triangle with so sexy Ugluk and so sexy Masako! And I can be helping with site: be cover girl, eat Krispy Kremes, eat Howard (he look so tasty! No eat dogs in Japan now, but in my time – ooooooo, such tasty barbeque.) And my have goatee like all Crazy Rumor staff (what wrong with Masako goatee? Why it fall out?) Please tell me address so I start swimming over.

  43. Free says:

    Sexy cam babes, free live chat…

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