18 Sep 06Vista Making Threats.

According to ZDNet, Cisco executives feel that Windows Vista is “scary”.

“Parts of Vista scare me,” [Cisco chief technology officer Bob] Gleichauf said at the Gartner Security Summit here on Monday.

Gleichauf said publicly that the yet-to-be-released Microsoft operating system may create just as many security issues as it solves, but sources indicate that Vista has also been threatening technology executives.

“Vista just barged in here the other day,” said a visibly shaken executive at a prominent database software company who declined to be identified for fear of reprisals. “It said ‘This is a nice place you got here. It’d be a shame if something were to happen to it.’

“Then it took a picture off the wall, smashed it over my laptop and said ‘Oops.'”

As a result the firm is expected to announce Vista compatibility next week.

Stories of the Microsoft operating system throwing its weight around have been making the rounds as criticism of the Vista delays and reduction in feature set have grown louder.

“Vista’s angry, man,” said a source who would only talk to Crazy Apple Rumors Site on the condition he be lit from behind. “I’m scrambling to make sure our hardware’s going to support it, but it’s a little hard when my fingers are broken, you know?”

Microsoft declined to comment for this story but did lower its sunglasses briefly to glare at reporters.

No Responses to “Vista Making Threats.”

  1. joey lange says:

    and second?

    wow. now to read the article.

  2. Psyko says:

    I would have had first if you had read the article before posting.


  3. Nxxx with eyepatch. says:

    Oo cares. It be speak like a pirate day already in Europe being nearly six bells.
    Avast there Moltz, oi cannot read thy prattlin anyway with these two eye patches.
    Grappling irons ready and board the Apple site for plenty of booty, pieces of eight and the sexbots.

  4. Nxxx without eyepatch. says:

    What is this “on the condition he be lit from behind”?
    Thought you’d given up lighting farts, John.

  5. thelairster says:

    6th or sex as they say in New Zealand

  6. vitamin fortified says:

    Number 8. Unless Vista wants to be 8th. or 9th. Maybe I will just cross the street now. And I didn’t see nuthin’

  7. The Highly Esteemed YoYo says:

    Ah I think you are thinking of Australia

  8. Carl says:

    Vista says, Gimme 11, or gimme a tuna fish sandwich.

  9. Ace Deuce says:

    Inside every operating system bully is an abused, lonely kernel that wants to love and be loved, if only it knew how.

  10. Don says:

    Hey! Australians DO NOT speak with a New Zealand accent. Unless of course you are referring to the large percentage of the population who are from New Zealand, unemployed and living on the Gold Coast. 😉


    Good article Moltz! Excellent work! Wow! You rock man!

    Now, about that cash incentive…..

  11. The Highly Esteemed YoYo says:

    look! We pronounce the vowel in six the same as in fish or chips. You can’t claim we say “get me a sex pack and some fush and chups” make up your mind (although I would like a sex pack right about now).

    Oh and ha ha about the vista and whatnot (I wouldn’t want to be accused of going totally OT).

  12. Don says:

    Is it actually possible to ever go Off Topic in CARS?

  13. scared monster says:

    WWsshhh…Vissshta jussshhht wasssh here a momentsshh ago.
    Sssshure isssshh angry.
    But, hell, you sssshould hhhhsssee him !


  14. Ahnyer Keester says:

    Gee and Vista only scared me from a distance.

    Good post John.

  15. Journamalism®™℠©℗ Guy says:

    I get the feeling that Vista is being lit from behind…possibly while grabbing it’s ankles.

  16. Totally Off-Topic says:

    So! Any pie left?

    How ’bout those Giants?

    More cowbell!

  17. HEY is this Crazy Elmo Rumors Site?
    Cuz I got the shizzit on the new secret Elmo!

    Boo Yah! (To mix urban slang metaphors)


    You know what I’m squawkin’ about!

  18. OMGHAX says:

    Please Vista Don’t Hurt ‘Em!

  19. Aaron says:

    Holy mother of Christ. Crazy Apple Rumors comments are now being cited in Canadian news articles.


  20. Dark Lord Ubuntu says:

    For some as yet unknown reason, suspected to be the result of dark sacrifices of goat entrails and kung pao chicken, the latest Ubuntu distribution has deigned to insist that you need Vista to install Ubuntu. We’re currently attempting to wrest the 75 nubile virgins from Vista’s grasp before it can complete its dark cvs ritual which will make this change permanent.

    Wish us luck.

    After all, wrestling 75 nubile virgins isn’t all it’s cracked up to be.

    But the spankings, the spankings…

  21. Ace Deuce says:

    Ubuntu others as you would have others Ubuntu you.

  22. Ahnyer Keester says:

    Arrrrr!! Why were there no one be tellin’ me this here be Talk Like a Pirate Day!??!!

    To the yardarms with ye all!! You’ll be keel hauled for this ‘un! Savvy?

  23. blank says:

    Last OS to come by my house and act up that way got a clip emptied in its ass. I think it was Windows ME. Haven’t heard from it since.

    Or was it M$ Bob?

  24. Cap'n Groucho says:

    Aaarrrh, Moltzie me lad!

    That was a fine, fine yarn ye spun today!

  25. saint george & saint michael reunited says:

    Someone saw a Vista ’round here ?

  26. Paul says:

    Vista took my PC round the back of Moe’s and beat it with a sack full of doorknobs. I came back bleatering away at me to never let Vista be installed on it and demanded that if 10.5 is legally PC compatible, he get it ASAP. Then he wanted a hug. A big one.

    Poor old thing. Almost 10 months. Archaic in PC terms. Only has a dual core 32bit processor running at 3.4GHz.

    Note to self: Buy a Macbook whilst the fools buy Vista.

  27. Paul says:

    *It came back

  28. Dingus MaGee says:

    Lit from behind? How else does one light farts?

  29. Philippe says:

    If Vista creates as many problems than it solves, then it must not be creating new problems?

    I think it should be: Vista creates as many problems as an operating system capable of solving errors would be able to solve.

  30. Steve from Dodge Ball says:

    Arrrr……..vista from behind

  31. Wayoffandrunning says:

    Is Vista personally making these threats or are the visits made by some hired thugs?
    I can’t imagine Vista taking the chance of being directly linked to such tactics; however, I
    have a friend that is in the legal profession that says that Vista could be charged with conspiracy
    to intimidate a witness. Of course, he is just the guy that cleans the washrooms, but he hears

  32. Rip Ragged says:

    Wait. Are you sure there been an actual sighting of a real Vista? I think the Air Force is saying it was just swamp vapor.

  33. OMGHAX says:

    No, Rip Ragged, this time it was a flock of geese reflecting street lights.


    I’ll pop a cap in your kernel!

  34. Huh? says:

    I think all this smack talk coming from Vista is just for show. It’s just a big bully that will run if confronted.
    I loaded Vista RC2 on to a laptop just to see if it really ran.
    It promptly crashed (multiple times) and voided it’s own install code in a week.

    It actually voided other things aw well, but we won’t talk about that now.

    moo (Pants™® @ the dry cleaner)

  35. Rip Ragged says:

    Who needs an operating system that voids all over the place? What a mess.

  36. OMGHAX says:

    CARS has an RCS of like 40m…

  37. Deep Throat says:

    Aaron, that’s the funniest thing I’ve seen in a while. Who knew that CARS posters are news sources? I’ve always thought the comment section was too serious.

  38. If you say so says:

    Kinda curious where you got RC2 being that it isn’t available yet. Or could it be that it’s Beta 2. I’m e-mailing you from RC1 and it’s working fine. I have it on 3 machines and all work fine.