Just days after announcing the hiring of Donald J. Rosenberg as General Counsel, Apple today announced that it is making another executive move.
The company is creating a new position – Senior Vice President of Enterprise – which will be charged with developing and implementing Apple’s corporate sales strategy. To fill this position, Apple has hired a stock photo of a smiling executive in a suit.
“I’m thrilled to announce that Stock Photo Guy has joined our executive team,” said Apple CEO Steve Jobs, standing next to a picture of his newest recruit.
“Stock Photo Guy has vast experience in the enterprise,” Jobs said. “Whether it’s pointing seriously at something on a screen with an African-American, or pointing at a pie chart with an Asian person or pointing at something off-camera with someone in a wheelchair, Stock Photo Guy has done it all.”
Apple reportedly paid Getty Images $657 to acquire the non-exclusive rights to Stock Photo Guy. Despite the company’s usual policy of exclusive employment, Stock Photo Guy is still available for work in glossy brochures, magazines and catalogs.
Analysts hailed the move and said it fit perfectly with Apple’s enterprise strategy.
“Who better to continue to do nothing than a stock photo?” asked InfoWorld’s Tom Yager.
Stock Photo Guy’s hiring did not please everyone, however.
“They gave him a better parking space than mine,” said a dumbfounded Senior Vice President of Retail Ron Johnson.
“He’s a picture! He doesn’t have a car!”
Apple’s stock was up 1.56 on the announcement.