Every Friday, the staff at Crazy Apple Rumors Site answers common help questions based on our vast experience with Apple products and our fervent belief that we know more than you do.
Today’s Help Desk answers the musical question…
Q: How does Apple do that voodoo that it does so well?
A: Well, as a matter of fact, it turns out that it’s real voodoo. So, uh, as far as how they do it… I think it’s mostly chicken blood.
Q: I’ve owned Macs for about ten years now and I’ve always wondered, is Apple down with OPP?
A: Oh, yes, totally. Apple’s been down with OPP for, what, two years now?
Q: Wow. Really? Like, who? You said something about Melinda Gates the other day. Is it Melinda Gates?
A: What? What does she have to do with Other People’s Processors?
A: Other People’s Processors. You know… when Apple switched to Intel and got down with OPP.
A: What did you think it meant?
Q: I’d… rather not say now.
Q: Is this burning I feel for my MacBook an eternal flame?
A: While I’m sure you like your MacBook very much, no.
Q: Oh. So it’s probably just processor heat. Should I just get a Podium Pad or something?
A: Uh… well, sadly, in your case, only some of the burning is processor heat. The rest is VD.
Q: Oh. Wait a minute, how do you know?
A: Oh, we know. We know. For some reason we have sources at Apple and also down at the clinic. I’m still not really sure why.