Apple sources confirmed today in an off-the-record interview that the iPhone would support eighty frequency bands, up from the seven bands promised during the product’s introduction in January.
Worldwide GSM phones typically support four frequency bands, or ranges of spectrum, because of the differences in licenses for use of the airwaves in different countries and regulatory domains. An additional three or more bands are needed for data support.
Apple spokesperson Anuj Nayar, who confirmed before the interview that his name would not be used nor the contents of the interview disclosed, said, “We’re just here to blow that out of the water, just like everything that comes from Apple.”
Nayar explained that 20 of the additional bands would allow the iPhone to be used in micro-nations that had strange licensing requirements. “Rapa Nui, get ready for the iPhone!” he cried.
But, Nayar continued, an additional 25 bands would allow the iPhone to work “anywhere there’s a radio playing or the television on.” Just as in the countless science-fiction movies, the iPhone can take over any normal broadcast means for its own purposes.
Nayar confirmed that the iPhone “would not be evil in its normal operation”.
Additional band support include infra-infra-sonic, allowing the iPhone to use 4 herz (Hz) ground waves that can penetrate hundreds of miles underground to speak to mole people – “You know, mole people,” Nayar said – and the resonance frequency of krypton, oxygen, and several “of your favorite elements.”
The Beatles will be allotted a special super-band so that the iPhone can produce Beatles tunes by being placed near your old vinyl copies of the band’s albums.
“But don’t tell the RIAA!” Nayar laughed. “Ooh, boy, they don’t like you not paying for it twice! Ha-ha!
“Uhh… this conversation never happened, right?”