Sources at Apple indicate the company is preparing a new product that will seek to resolve growing concerns about Mac security.
Some have issued calls for Apple to beef up system security as a result of last year’s wireless controversy and the Month of Apple Bugs earlier this year.
“We looked at the security surrounding our Mac products,” said senior vice president of worldwide marketing Phil Schiller, “and we identified the single biggest threat. And it’s not QuickTime bugs, it’s not Java bugs, it’s not 0 ring insertion. Because there just aren’t any exploits in the wild for those.
“No, it’s being hit over the head and having someone grab your Mac and run off. Unlike these other theoretical threats, this one actually happens to Mac users on an almost daily basis because our products are so boss.”
To combat this, Apple will introduce the iHelmet at its Worldwide Developers Conference next month.
Made of an advanced zirconium alloy, the iHelmet features built-in iPod earbuds and a Bluetooth transmitter that automatically locks your Mac’s keychain when either the iHelmet moves out of broadcast range or blunt force trauma is detected. A preference pane lets you adjust the sensitivity, in the event you’re a “hard rocker”.
“We believe this should resolve any security concerns anyone has about the Mac,” Schiller said.
“Well… OK… George Ou…
“But, what are you gonna do?”