Apple Seeds OS 9.3.

In a surprising turn of events, Apple seeded OS 9.3 to developers late this afternoon.

According to the release notes, 9.3 resolves several bugs, provides updates for QuickTime, iTunes and Java, and makes OS 9 compatible with the current Intel-based Macintosh architecture.

According to sources at Apple, the company is entirely at a loss to explain where this seed came from.

“I didn’t do it,” said senior vice president of software engineering Bertrand Serlet. “I can’t even get Leopard done in time. I’m swamped. Stupid iPhone and Apple TV. Nobody asked me whether or not we should make those. I mean, I haven’t gone to the bathroom in three weeks. OS 9? Je pense que non.”

Some believe that a long-lost OS 9 developer is somewhere in the building still working away by himself.

“You know,” said chief operating officer Tim Cook, “kind of like that Japanese soldier they found on that island who still thought the war was going on twenty years later.

“In that episode of Gilligan’s Island.”

Cook said CEO Steve Jobs would be sending out an email to the entire company – including, somehow, all the old eWorld and AppleLink accounts – stating in no uncertain terms that “the war is over”.

“It’s a bit creepy when you think about it,” Cook noted. “Crazy unwashed developer stalking around here at night…

“OK, that pretty much describes 75 percent of the company… But still, working on OS 9?”

Cook shuddered and locked his office door when reporters left.