04 May 07Oh, you're not gonna like this…

I know, I know. No Help Desk two weeks in a row.

What will you do?

What… will… you do?

Why, you’ll drive away in your brand new car, that’s what you’ll do!

Yes, that’s right! You’d be driving in style in the 1974 Chrysler Imperial! With power door locks and a power sun roof, all you have to do is push a button and the world is your oyster! It’s 440-inch cubic V-8 and 2-stage electric assist choke mean you’ve got the power you need on today’s open roads!

[A $7,062 value.]


What was your ride in the ’70s?

No Responses to “Oh, you're not gonna like this…”

  1. scared monster, better known as Le Chef De La Cuisine, says:

    Dear Rip
    my car
    a Renault Laguna from 1995 (Google this one, babe !)
    is sufficiently
    to be recognized some miles ago.

    My, not my fault if those roads move when I drive, is it ?

  2. Rip Ragged says:

    I always though Renault was a pretty good brand. I also drive a last century vehicle – a 1997 Ford Ranger. Hide the logos and it is identical to the Mazda light pickup model of the same year. And I mean identical right down to the icon on the cigarette lighter.

  3. Huh? says:

    Rip- I still have a car with timing chains.
    That’s right two of ’em!!! A real mofo to change though….
    There’s no replacement for displacement!

    Also, I would like to state, for the record, I have no idea who posted #49.
    I wasn’t even awake yet.

  4. Panduemonium says:

    We shall leave the full deck region..53
    that’s like … includin’ the jokers..well “a” joker…
    and #52 well uh #49 … asleep at the keyboard is no friggin’ excuse..
    where’s the responsibility in the comment world…
    we are all doomed..that spiral into insignificance…
    Now those guys over at ARS…. The’re friggin’ responsible..
    They have Nobel Intent… and it is a double wide tent too…
    Big motors are like big feet… to late to go there for now….

  5. Han says:

    I had this piece of shit Falcon back in the late 70s. I think it was a Ford. Sucker was fast, but not entirely reliable. It wasn’t my fault however, I think Lando put in a bunch of mods that destabilized the hyperjump core and it kept having cooling problems. Plus, while you wouldn’t think Wookie hair would normally be a problem in the main hydraulics, you’d be wrong.

  6. UhhhDude says:

    First there was the ’68 Dodge Dart with the bad water pump and the back passenger’s side door that occasionally swung open when you’d make a hard left turn.

    Then there was a ’72 Cutlass, which looked really pretty at certain angles. I drove that thing for three years until it blew a couple of freeze plugs and cracked the engine block.

    Seems I neglected to change the oil in all those three years. Hey! I was young, and my dad never changed his oil, either.

  7. Doc Wolfram says:

    Plymouth Fury III, which got me from OKC to Boston in 2 days and three hours, solo. It took longer going back pulling a trailer, though. Couldn’t use the AC or it would overheat.

    After that, a nice little Datsun F-10 (yellow, to contrast my girlfriend’s white one.)

  8. Doc Wolfram says:

    But wait, the Datsun was actually in the 80’s! How time flies when you are having fun.

  9. greenacres says:

    ’69 Buick Skylark – which I couldn’t drive till 1979, but, hey, it’s still in the ’70s. That was one awesome car. Raw power, FULL power steering (not like today’s partial), and the ability to do half-cookies down a street covered in snow (and on purpose). Ah, those were the days….

  10. Abe Lincolnlogski says:

    Powder blue Ford Monarch, WITH an eight-track tape player. Nothing says power and speed like a car named after a butterfly.

  11. jasonbot says:

    Seventies!? How do you spell that???

  12. Richard says:

    Turned 16, and started driving, in 1975. First car: VW bug (1964), followed by VW squareback (1969), and then a VW bus (1973, before fuel injection). Loved that bus.

  13. kingthedestroyer says:

    Started with parents old 71 Ford LTD, man that was a chunck of metal. Later, got my hands on my brother’s 66 Ford Galaxie, no heater but an aircondioner that could freeze you out in August. Never needed any freon added to do it. Flamed out in 82.

  14. blank says:

    Damned straight I’m fucking old!

    First car (1973): ’65 Mustang fastback–289 V8 with “slush-o-matic” transmission
    Second car (1975): ’60 Triumph TR-3 (owned in parallel with the Mustang, not dependable enough to be sole transportation)
    Third car (1977): ’65 Comet–another 289 V8, but this time with a “3-on-the-tree” manual transmission (both the Mustang and Triumph were dead at this point)
    Fourth car (1978): ’65 Dodge Dart–225 slant-six, automatic
    Fifth car (1979): ’71 Ford Torino wagon–302 V8, “slush-o-matic”

    Thus ended the ’70s…

    Ask me sometime about how I helped Lincoln defeat the confederates during the civil war–while inventing cold fusion, no less!

  15. Bill Weiss says:

    Well, I’m far too young to be driving then, but I drove a ’54 Mercury Monterey in the 90s. Man I miss that car…

  16. Bill Weiss says:

    * to have been driving …

  17. Bob Barker says:

    Was my ride? WAS my ride? Okay, I wasn’t driving until the 90s, but my one and only car so far is an 1970 El Camino. Hah!

  18. Station Wagon Pinball says:

    Let’s see. In the summer of ’69, I downgraded from a ’45 Womb to those white things my mom had bronzed, whatever they were. Very stiff suspension. Later I was racing around in Zips – talk about fast! It wasn’t ’til the ’80s that I discovered the awesome comfort of double-dual laced Kaepas. That’s one comfy ride! Somewhere in there I remember a big, red, 3-speed Schwinn.

  19. Walking Contradiction says:

    My 70’s ride was my first car, but I didn’t know it at the time. It was handed down to me in ’84 when I got my license and I sold it off 5 years later. I’m still kicking myself over that one.

    Rip Ragged might get a kick out of what car that was – a ’64 Chevy Impala with a 283 and powerglide. Damn car would do 60 in first gear (impressive until you realize that the powerglide was a 2 speed transmission!) and would sail along the freeway at over 100 MPH without trouble. I still miss that car!

    Oh, and you could sneak at least 4 people into the drivein theater by putting them into the trunk. Definitely could have fit more, but I wanted everyone to be comfortable.

  20. Bushwa Z. says:

    A 1963 Silver Thunderbird, brakes so shot I had to stand on them to stop the gigantic thing. It might have been about as wide as a Hummer… Then, a 1972 green Ford Pinto whose electrical system and engine caught fire as I was driving home from work one day at rush hour. The air venting for the engine allowed the flames to shoot out onto the ground in front, completely blocking anyone in the car from seeing the fire. Only when someone ran up to my window with a fire extinguisher screaming “get the hell out of the car! it’s on fire!” did I know. The Pinto acted a bit like “Christine” that day, trying to start itself up as it burned… And this was after the gas tank had been “recalled” and “refurbushed” by Ford. Then, I got a Honda Accord. It lasted up to the 1990’s.

  21. Hondophred says:

    A royal blue single speed supercycle with a banana seat and sissy bar combo from Canadian Tire.

  22. Del says:

    Late 70’s I may have been riding my pink and grey Big Wheel.

    By the early 80’s I’d gotten good enough I could do that cool Big Wheel thing where you could pedal fast and not go anywhere.

  23. staykill says:

    i couldnt drive in the 70’s. guess what. i still can’t. should be able to next year though w000t 17th birthday! so stay off the roads in 2008!

  24. foo master says:

    1965 Renault Dauphine Gordini.
    1969 Opel Kadett Ralley “L” (bitchin’ little car,)
    1969 Buick Skylark GS 400
    and then I fell down
    1974 MG Midget
    and then I got back up
    1972 Olds 442 455 Super Duty
    and lastly, 1970 Challenger 440 Six Pak T-10 S type with pistol grip shifter…

    Am I fickle or what?

  25. MacPomme says:

    Dassault Mirage IIIO … powered by a SNECMA Atar 9C turbojet with afterburner.


  26. Rip Ragged says:

    I used to drive my ’84 Jaguar in the 70s. But only on my way up through them to the mid-nineties, and then again on my way back down through them to stop and get a ticket.

    Those were the days.

    Now can I have a cookie?

  27. MacFanatic says:

    In the eary 70’s we rode in a 1960’s Plymouth Fury sedan, blue in color — either a ’65 or ’66 Fury II. I have a distint memory of riding in the front seat between Dad & Mom (no seat belt of course) & playing with the chrome radio preset buttons which made a nice “kershunk” sound when they were pushed. My three older siblings occupied the back seat .. covered of course in a clear plastic slip cover. My 2nd oldest brother still has this car in a semi restored state in his garage.

    In the late 70’s, Dad acquired a 1972 Chrysler Newport sedan, tan / olive green metallic paint with a big V8 engine. This car had turn signal indicator lamps that were mounted out on the hood … rather odd now that I think of it. As I recall, this is the first car that had A/C — which didn’t work very well so was infrequently used.

    Ahh, yes those were the days. Gasoline for about 50 cents a gallon.

  28. DG says:

    “440-inch cubic V-8”


  29. NYC Skip says:

    Ooooh, Moltz, you deprive me of the Help Desk but bring me back to my high school years.

    I cruised the mean streets of Tacoma, Wash., in a 1970 Oldsmobile F-85, the gutless (six-cylinder) stepsister to the V-8 Olds Cutlass. Identical on their exteriors, save for some slight tail-light variation, the F-85 powered its land-yacht frame with a scrawny 235 cubic-inch engine. Burned enough times during road-race challenges, I learned the art of discretion when fellow drivers in Malibus and Chargers revved their guns.

    But what the F-85 lacked in muscle, it made up when parked. With ample backseat leg room and wide bench seats, the F-85 was a veritable bedroom on four wheels. Ah, for the days when a McDonald’s combo meal and a $4 ticket at the Cineplex could buy a young woman’s ardent affection.

    Memories …

  30. spresso says:

    My. World. Is. Over.

  31. AlmostBoughtaLisa says:

    1969 BMW 1600. Or was that a 1600 BMW 1969? I can’t remember… guess I’m just too fucking old. Those were college and early career days, you see.

    Generally, the only thing that didn’t suck in the ’70s was that car. Remarkably stable, super-smooth four-speed manual floor shift, almost presciently responsive. I’d get it out on the Pennzy Turnpike, set it on 80 (um, or so), and fly low. Tunnels were like that light show scene out of 2001: A Space Odyssey. Never got stopped, though I went out there dozens of times. I guess the troopers couldn’t believe that something that looked like a bar of soap with a canopy and a buck-toothed grin could do more than the limit.

  32. Ralphmaxx says:

    A two tone 1974 Orange with white racing stripe Ford Pinto. Those were the days.

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