Macworld magazine announced today that it had found a permanent columnist to occupy the back page of its publication.
Editorial director Jason Snell said that the spot will be filled by a column written by Chris Breen’s hair.
Breen, the writer of the magazine’s Mac 911 column, is himself no slouch. He wrote an astonishing 6 pieces in the latest edition of Macworld, and also appeared as the magazine’s June centerfold.
But it’s a well-known secret of the Apple journalism world that Breen’s hair, in addition to being full of body and luxurious, is really the brains of the operation.
“Chris is a nice guy,” Snell said hesitantly, “but… how do I put this tactfully? He’s really kind of a mannequin for the hair.
“Yeaaaah. There’s just no way to put that tactfully.”
Snell said that when he found that he was more and more going to Breen’s hair for informed opinion about Apple, he decided to give the hair its own column.
This has even led to speculation by some scientists that Breen’s hair is actually an alien life form that has attached itself to him and is riding him around like a pony.
Breen could not be reached for comment, but his hair categorically denied the allegation.