06 Jun 07Apple Community Ponders Identity Of Fake Blogger.

The Apple community is in full speculation mode tonight as it wonders aloud…

“Who is Fake Phil Schiller?”

In a hilarious send-up of everyone’s favorite Apple senior vice president, an anonymous blogger has created an Internet phenomenon that seems sure to set the Apple world on its head.

“I’m not sure who he is,” said Tim O’Reilly, “but I’ve got my people trying to negotiate a book deal with him.

“Well, OK, it’s not so much a ‘book deal’ per se as it is a deal for a series of pamphlets. I mean, it’s not like he’s pretending he’s Steve Jobs or something.”

While O’Reilly attempted to work out a pamphlet deal, other Apple followers attempted to piece together clues as to Fake Phil’s identity.

“He’s clearly Canadian,” said Jason Snell, editor of Macworld magazine. “You can tell from the hockey references.

“No one in the states watches hockey. Seriously. I didn’t even know the deciding game of the… whaddaya call it… Cup playoffs… were on tonight.”

Some feel they already know who Fake Phil is.

“Oh, I know who it is,” said the New York Times’ David Pogue, looking around furtively. “I can’t say his name… but his initials are… W.G.

Aaand they sometimes call him ‘the Great One.'”

Pogue raised his eyebrows several times, then furrowed his brow.

“Oh, hell, it’s Gretzky. Wayne Gretzky. Well, at least I think it is.

“OK, I don’t really know.”

Regardless of his identity, Apple followers agree that from the hockey references to the Star Trek references to the insider’s view on Apple, whoever writes Fake Phil has Schiller down pat.

Fake Steve declined to comment for this story.

41 Responses to “Apple Community Ponders Identity Of Fake Blogger.”

  1. Dreil says:

    FirSt

  2. comacnut says:

    Two Bitch!

  3. Rip Ragged says:

    I read the whole post. And both of the comments.

    And sipped on my Red Hook ESB.

    Fake Phil is just so not right. How could someone rip off an icon like Phil.

    I’ll be depressed for… jeez… I don’t know… twenty minutes… half an hour… something like that… Do you have any idea how hard it is to get… three dots every time?

  4. Moof says:

    4 bitch! Twice as much!

  5. John Moltz says:

    I’ve had a lot of practice at it.

  6. Carbonfish says:

    Five fake bloggers.

  7. Carbonfish says:

    Five fake bloggers got number six.

  8. Don of Doom says:

    What! I submitted a post, but on the refresh it was gone! John, is that because I was trying to tell you about your typo….7th paragraph…”No on in the states watches hockey”????? Hmmmm????

  9. Carbonfish says:

    Goddamnit I give up.

    Good night!

  10. Don of Doom says:

    I really don’t like this censorship – without it I would have claimed 3rd spot, but instead it went to Mr. Ragged.

  11. Psyko says:

    Not here. (11)

  12. Richard Neal says:

    “piece together clues as to Fake Steve’s identity.”

    Should be Fake Phil. Am I right?

  13. Psyko says:

    Gah!
    I forgot to mention the typo and MARK!

    “No one in the states watches hockey.”

    MARK

  14. Carbonfish says:

    Okay, I just couldn’t give up and go to bed without mentioning to John that someone on the CARS Staff *cough…cough* needs to watch their tenses:

    “Some felt they already knew who Fake Phil is.”

    They would already know who fake Phil is… or They already knew who fake Phil was.

    You can’t have it both ways gentlemen (and ladies who play for the other team).

  15. John Moltz says:

    One of these days I’m going to deliberately post the most egregious example of misspelling and bad grammar imaginable.

    I mean other than tonight’s.

  16. redeyebase says:

    it’s not fair.. before 10 .. not fair to post while i’m reading my RSS feeds.

  17. Carbonfish says:

    Well I’m glad to see that you’re looking at this hyper-critical sniping in the right light. We only beat you down because we love you and want to see you grow up to be president some day.

    Now finish your goddamn homework and get your ass into bed!

  18. redeyebase says:

    GrammarGirl’s all over the place… my, my.

    John, you could write a little slower and not make mistakes, and then I would be FIRST POST.

  19. Rip Ragged says:

    Twice. TWICE. In one night. My wife would be impressed.

    Good night. John, another swell post. Really. I’m proud to be an American. I’m proud of a couple other things too, but we should probably leave those alone for tonight.

  20. OMGHAX says:

    How long before Fake John Moltz pops up on them interwebs?

  21. Don of Doom says:

    John, don’t you mean to say:

    “One of these days I’m going to deliberately post the most egregious example of misspelling and bad grammar imaginable.
    I mean other than tonight.”?

    Close….oh so close….

  22. Nxxx says:

    How do we know if this was written by the genuine John Moltz?

    WE WANT PROOF. WE WANT PROOF. WE WANT PROOF. WE WANT PROOF. WE WANT PROOF. WE WANT PROOF. WE WANT PROOF. WE WANT PROOF. WE WANT PROOF. WE WANT PROOF. WE WANT PROOF. WE WANT PROOF. WE WANT PROOF. WE WANT PROOF. WE WANT PROOF. WE WANT PROOF. WE WANT PROOF. WE WANT PROOF. WE WANT PROOF. WE WANT PROOF. v WE WANT PROOF. WE WANT PROOF. WE WANT PROOF. WE WANT PROOF. WE WANT PROOF. WE WANT PROOF. WE WANT PROOF. WE WANT PROOF. WE WANT PROOF. WE WANT PROOF.

  23. Fake Ace Deuce says:

    90 proof?

  24. Dr_Erick says:

    I’m from edmonton, and I’ve got no idea who Wayne Gretsky is.

    Wayne Gretzky, on the other hand, like mark messier has a road named after him in this town.

  25. Streetrabbit says:

    I was halfway through creating Fake John Motlz, then I thought better of it.

    That’s not the kind of retribution you want in your life.

  26. hunter thumb says:

    Ok, somebody has really something to hide:

    http://fakejohnmoltz.blogspot.com/

  27. Streetrabbit says:

    ***Off Topic***

    Anyone who recorded YML this week, send an email demanding ransom to Mac pundit and CARS regular Shawn King.

    Shawn accidentally deleted the show yesterday….the day after “Back Up Day!”

    ***Back On Topic***

    I like pudding! …And squirrels. Pudding and squirrels.

    Like ’em.

  28. John Muir says:

    Option + ;

    Feel the bliss.

  29. Klayman says:

    What’s next? Fake Bertrand Serlet?

    … no wait. There’s *some* things you just can’t fake.

    btw, Mr. Moltz, I take your word on that post. And I’m really curious to see who gets all the mistakes first. You should make a grammar contest out of it, sorta like primary school…

    …ok, I’m off. Lots of three dots in this post as well. ttfn

  30. Fake UhhhDude says:

    One day I wrote a random, non-sequitor filled post that was only vaguely related to Apple products or Mac rumors. Then I took a flying leap, like this:

    YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

  31. blnded by science says:

    Don of Doom Says:
    June 6th, 2007 at 9:47 pm
    I was trying to tell you about your typo…
    June 6th, 2007 at 9:49 pm
    I really don’t like this censorship …

    Dangit, I thought I just read the above posts, but apparently they weren’t really here.

  32. Fake UhhhDude, please fake your redundant suffixes within the margins.

  33. Fake John Moltz says:

    Uhhhmmmm … I got nuthin’

  34. Nxxx says:

    Just to add to the plot, was it the real Paris Hilton or the fake Paris Hilton who was released from jail because she was ill?
    Just realised another problem, who would want to be a fake Paris Hilton?

  35. The Invisible Evil Goat Punctuation Appreciation Fife and Drum Corps says:

    … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … …
    … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … …
    … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … …
    … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … …
    … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … …
    … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … …
    … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … …
    … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … !

  36. That’s a nasty morse lisp you’ve got there, goat.

  37. jogdish says:

    Searched around blogspot. There is a fake peter oppenheimer at http://fakeoppenheimer.blogspot.com. Not as good as fake shiller but better than fake moltz.

  38. kingthedestroyer says:

    I thought this whole internet thingy was fake,… I mean there is nothing on this thing that is real, just the product of some deranged imagination.

  39. Rip Ragged says:

    I think there are more zeroes than ones on the internet. I’ve never seen a fake Homer Langley blog, and he’s been dead for a while. What’s up with that?

  40. Steve G. says:

    Re #29: I thought the same thing. Creepy.

    But I am surprised that no one posed this quandary before (it just came to me this morning): Does Fake Phil have a real posse or a fake posse? I mean, I’d had to be the only real person in Fake Phil Schiller’s posse.

  41. […] Also, breaking up to the minute coverage at CARS of course: Crazy Apple Rumors covers Fake Phil Blog […]

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