Well, it’s day 10 of our quest for the Entity and I wish I could tell you it was going well.
But it isn’t.
We did find fire, though. That was kind of cool. It’s in the trunk.
And this grail thingy. Howard’s using it as a water dish.
But no enigmatic energy being.
We thought we had a hot lead outside of Denver when a couple of teenagers told us there was a cloaked figure that hung out at a local Gas-N-Sip.
But it turned out it wasn’t an energy being, it was just some dood in a cloak who said his name was Darth Silliest.
I know, I know.
I’m, like, “You mean Darth Sidious?”
And he’s, like, “No. Darth Silliest.”
And then he smiles a little and raises his eyebrows a couple of times.
So, now we’re just driving through the desert at night with the windows rolled down and Zeppelin blaring.
One thing that has become apparent to us is the urgency of our quest. With each mile we drive, the iPhone brings us dire tales of the horrors that robots are wreaking upon the unsuspecting masses. They attack our elderly and replace our beloved migrant workers while we sit by and do nothing.
Is it any surprise they’re getting more uppity?
I just hope something comes up soon so we can start working up a game plan to beat these binary bastards and figure out what role Apple is going to play in the Cyber Apocalypse.
Because we’re almost out of Pop Tarts. And mescaline.
I mean, I’m not adverse to switching to the LSD, I’m just not sure that’s going to provide the right chemical balance for us to find our spirit guide and…
Howard, did you see that?
Was that who I thought it was?
Yeah, OK, I gotta go.
We just passed a hitchhiker.
And it was Don Crabb.
We’re backing up.