After the first seven months of the year were focused on the iPhone, excited Mac fans welcomed the news that tomorrow’s announcements by Apple would return the focus to their beloved platform.
Sadly, Crazy Apple Rumors Site has received an agenda for tomorrow’s presentation and the Mac? Not so much.
- Introduction. Discuss the highly successful iPhone launch.
- Bring out the iPhone and demo the Multitouch interface.
- Conduct a demo call with Phil Schiller, who’s in a straight jacket hanging from his ankles over a drunken and sexually aroused Barbara Walters.
- Conference in Jony Ive who tearfully reveals he’s a snackaholic.
- Discuss the relationship with AT&T and allow Stan Sigman… all… the time… he… wants.
- Bring out the iPhone again and demand that everyone present pay homage to it.
- Show everyone the iPhone interface again to demonstrate the iPhone’s complete dominion over them.
- Lead everyone in 15 minutes of cheering “iPhone! Yay, iPhone!”
- Conclude by releasing the hounds and having them chase the heathens from the temple.
Furthermore, according to sources, Apple will not only be discontinuing the Mac, but will be sending representatives to the home of each Mac user to deliver a kick to the groin.