Apple Working On New Ads.

In response to allegations that “black people don’t use Macs”, sources say Apple is working on a new series of blacksploitation “I’m a Mac ads.”

Information is sketchy right now, but one script is written for Carl Weathers to star as the Mac and Craig T. Nelson as the PC. In the ad, the Mac totally fucks up the PC.

“Think about it,” a source said. “What’s more like ‘the man’ than the PC? Nothing. Well, other than the man himself.”

Apple declined to comment for this story, but Weathers said he’s available and interested. Quentin Tarantino is currently rumored to be attached to the project.

52 thoughts on “Apple Working On New Ads.”

  1. Only a damned fool honky like Moltz would think Carl “got my ass beat by a short honky” Weathers would be used. A company with such taste as Apple would ONLY go with either Fred Williamson or Jim Kelly.

  2. Weathers is cool, but if you could get Samuel Fricken Jackson beating up Adam Sandler with a metal pipe, I’d PAY to see that ad.


    This is the most reasonable take on that whole “C4[1]” situation I have yet heard.


  4. I knew this would happen after iBrotha passed away. I miss that guy.

    Black people use macs big time. But green people do not.

  5. So much for the “We’re off battling metal monstrosities, back on the 20th” I guess.

    I can’t believe that I’m disappointed to see a CARS post. Who’s watching for the cyber uprising? Who’s going to catch the Entity when he is rebirthed into this phase of reality?

    Come on! I swear.

  6. Yeah, what’s going on. Our spirits are crushed by the announcement of no CARS for a week, then this…
    I don’t get it.


  7. OK Moltz.
    You need to talk to your staff.

    Halle Berry as a Mac.
    Barbara Bush as a PC.

    Thank you.

  8. What’s wrong with Whoopi Goldberg?

    As for green men not using Macs, they do after eating my cooking.

  9. You know, with this pre-20th post after the promise of no posts till the 20th, I just don’t know if I can ever believe anything I read on this website again!

  10. Black and white ads…. how nicely retro. I haven’t used a black and white monitor in some time…hummm.. They still make those things? Ditto on this stealth post… what’s up with that? I be thinking it’s not long til the Entitys return… all hail Entity.

  11. Psyko,

    Has your aspect ratio changed from drinking all those college beverages? CARS might not have your size in stock.

  12. Ace, I don’t drink.
    Shhh, don’t tell anybody though, I think that is heresy around here.\


  13. Black people, green people. What about blue kilt wearing Scots people. They use Macs. Or MacMacs to be precise.

    Also, a lot of us plan our vacations around “CARS week offs” show a little consideration could you?

    Welcome back MARK.

  14. Correction. Scots do not have blue kilts. Blue does appear amongst many other colours.
    The blue kilt you refer to, is of course, the uniform of the Kintyre Academy for Young Ladies of Ill Repute. Well recommended.

  15. What about the “real” ad on FX with Danny DeVito for the TV show “It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia”? He plays “PC”, for “perverted clown” and puts on a foam nose.

  16. I thought PC referred to Politically Correct, I always referred the the computer as a PoC (Piece of Crap)

  17. >>> “Halle Berry as a Mac.”

    Yeah! She can run PC over in her car and then flee the commercial.

    >>> “What’s wrong with Whoopi Goldberg?”

    What isn’t?

    >>> “What about blue kilt wearing Scots people.”

    Ha! Trick question. You see, Scots are not actually people. They are, in fact, a type of tree.

  18. I’d pay double and buy popcorn to share with the guy on the cell phone behind me to see *anybody* beat the shit out of Adam Sandler. No film tricks, though. It has to be a live performance.

    Q: What do you wear under a kilt?

    A: Shoes.

  19. George Ou is back.
    Complaining about OSX font rendering.
    When compared to Vista. No less.

    Where is Moltz?

  20. Absolutely brilliant.
    Is there no end to John’s talent?
    Let’s all congratulate him on the best Help Desk yet.

  21. What’s the black personal computer that’s a sex machine to all the geeks?


    Ya damn right.


  22. First post to quote the sentence “First post to use ’sesquipedalian’ in a sentence.”

    Also, first post to blatantly plagiarize the immediately previous post for no good reason.

  23. It seemed like a good reason to me.

    Also, UhhhDude has once again violated the terms of the wockawocka treaty.

    Once more and he’ll be ineligible for economic sanctions.

  24. I personally think Nxxx should just take them. Let’s call this UhhDude’s last offense and get it over with.

    All in favor, say MARK.


  25. That seems fair to me. He was making bad use of them anyway.

    Just remember Nxxx, these economic sanctions are neither sanctioned nor particularly economical. They largely consist of expired coupons for 25 cents off on a box of O.B. Ultras.

    Just sayin’.

  26. UhhhDude… right on, mah bruthuh!

    As fo’ you uthuh mofoze… Halle Berry? Whoopi?! What you talkin’ ’bout? Foxy Brown Pam Grier is what you need ta ice dem PeeCees! Or mebbe Grace Jones … b___h could kick PeeCee ass Straight to Hell an’ look fine doin’ it! Or you wan’ git REAL serious you put Lil’ Kim on dem and dey Shut Up! ‘nuf!

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