Rob Enderle has unleashed the latest drippings from his brain pan today, taking Apple to task for releasing an iMac update not worthy of its abilities and Mac blogs for their treatment of the “Sticker Guy” controversy.
Unwittingly, however, Enderle tipped his hand in linking to Crazy Apple Rumors Site’s coverage of “Sticker Guy”.
As a highly respected source on all things Apple – as evidenced by his constant use as a quote machine by lazy journalists – CARS staff expected that Enderle’s writing must be widely read. However, a review of our referrer logs shows a grand total of eleven (11) click-throughs (actual true fact). Given the fact that at least five (5) of those click-throughs were conducted by CARS staff members and friends, this leads to the startling conclusion that Enderle’s writing just doesn’t generate any traffic unless he nonsensically bashes Apple.
According to sources, however, this fits a consistent pattern throughout Enderle’s life.
“Rob’s constantly been seeking attention,” said a long-time friend who asked only to be referred to as “Ricky”.
“It’s a desperate cry for help.”
According to Ricky, Enderle was the middle child of 16 (Ricky was unclear how one is exactly the middle of an even number), born to poor, itinerant Baptist sharecropper Mormon Jewish lesbians in southern Nebraska during the Great Depression.
“Middle children are constantly trying to stand out,” Ricky said. “Rob did so by making things up. First it was imaginary friends, then it was magical fairy ponies that visited in the night and pooped under his bed.
“But everyone knew who was really pooping under his bed.”
According to Ricky, it was Rob’s older brother, Hubert, who was quite the practical joker and well-liked by everyone, unlike Rob.
Ricky went on to ask that Mac users not under any circumstances click through any links to Enderle’s writing or interviews.
“Don’t encourage him,” Ricky pleaded. “He’s a sick, sick man.
“Very sick. Really, really, really sick. Sick, sick, sick, sick, sick, sick, sick.”
Ricky then shook his head sadly at how sick Rob Enderle is.