30 Oct 07TidBITS Agenda Revealed.

As exciting as the Leopard roll-out has been, it has also been revealing. The writing of several so-called “journalists” has revealed them to be willing tools of various nefarious forces.

Most disappointing of all is the venerable Mac publication TidBITS which has been shown by clever readers to be in league with pro-one world government organizations.

Crazy Apple Rumors Site has prepared the following graphical depiction of how TidBITS fits into the global conspiracy.

As you can clearly see, TidBITS is the key propaganda arm of the One World Government forces which send their black helicopter brigades to extract the precious bodily fluids from Mac users which they then give to their Emperor Gallagher.

As difficult as it is to fathom, TidBITS has also been caught supporting Microsoft, absurdly claiming that Apple took technology cues from features that are in Vista.



Microsoft, as everyone knows, is in league with Satan who is worshipped by Al Gore who works in support of One World Government forces who gave him the Nobel Prize.

The circle is closed.

Also, one of Satan’s key operatives on Earth is killer beavers.

When contacted, TidBITS attempted to deny the truth, of course.

“The idea that TidBITS is affiliated with one world government forces is absurd,” said Jeff Carlson. “We do, of course, have tremendous respect for Brother Al because, well, Adam [Engst] is a communist.

“I think that’s fairly obvious. But that doesn’t mean he wants one world government. He wants lots of small communist governments.

“And it’s just Glenn [Fleishman] who really likes Microsoft so much.”

36 Responses to “TidBITS Agenda Revealed.”

  1. Dr. Who says:

    Read the post too!!!

  2. Dr. Who says:

    Two number One’s in four years…I feel like such a Red Sock!!

  3. Sleepy says:

    Tree. When did this become a Ron Paul fan site?

  4. Jeff Carlson says:

    I’m furious to be so misquoted by Mr. Rumors-Site. Besides, why focus on just this one world when there are so many (like those in the Vega system) to plunder/crush/befriend?

    But Glenn does love Microsoft. It’s weird.

  5. Ace Deuce says:

    Top umpteen!

  6. Ocasional Commentor says:

    I’ve always been in the top umpteenth. Even when I don’t comment.

  7. June Cleaver says:

    Ward, I think you’d better have a word with the Beav. He’s been consorting with Satan and it’s hard to get the blood stains out of his clothes.

  8. jurgen says:

    You mean “cues”. Queues are what happen when you line up for stuff outside of the US.

  9. Ace Deuce says:

    That Gallagher is so misunderstood. And I misunderstand him the most.

  10. Glenn Fleishman says:

    Oh, yeah, I *love* Microsoft. I am going to marry Microsoft! Seriously. You’re all invited. The mayor of Redmond is going to officiate. But it’s only for its money.

    “As difficult as it is to fathom, TidBITS has also been caught supporting Microsoft, absurdly claiming that Apple took technology queues from features that are in Vista.”: Apple lined up those features and shot them.

  11. John Moltz says:

    OK, OK!

    Clearly this post was sabotaged by One World Government forces.

  12. CB says:

    When I saw the pix, I knew Moltz hadn’t written this. He would never do something so beautiful as add pictures – in a mindmap way, too.

  13. Magnanimous Wang says:

    This article blew my mind.

    John Gruber/John Moltz, you are truly a man among men.

  14. CB says:

    And why are the Google Ads trying to sell Xanax and Vicodin tonight?

  15. Sudo Nym says:

    When I have a One World Government, it’s going to be Linux-based.

    I can’t resist the yearning to swear fealty to Emperor Penguin.

    (In actual fact, my fealty isn’t worth much, and no self-respecting Emperor would ever accept it anyway. It’s the self-loathing Emperors who worry me.)

  16. Nxxx says:

    Please, please promise me that you wont bring Margaret Hilda Thatcher back.
    Rather face Killer Butterflies than that.

  17. Carbonfish says:


    Killer beavers.

    Okay, maybe you have to live in the Pacific Northwest to really appreciate the whole beavers-as-a-threat-to-life-as-we-know-it thing. But really, just look at ’em.

  18. Ace Deuce says:

    Hey, the Entity is on Letterman tonight!

  19. Huh? says:

    I just don’t like the idea that we’re even on that chart.

    I feel so…. dirty…

  20. Streetrabbit says:

    So that’s where the smegma goes!

  21. Loose Leaf says:

    Killer beavers, not buying it.

    Killer Nutria, that I would believe. Those things are mean.

  22. Ahnyer Keester says:

    Keep your eyes on CARS and on John specifically. Warn him if you see black helicopters coming. Now that he’s outed the plot for a One World Government they’re going to have to silence him. I’m betting the next space shuttle mission will fly right over CARS headquarters inducing sonic booms in an attempt to trigger an earthquake in…where ever John lives. Hell, I don’t know that kind of stuff but They do!

    I’ve said too much…. Someone’s banging at the door. Gotta run! They’re after me!!

    Oh, but before they shatter the door and drag me away to be tortured in a hidden base inside the Hoover Dam, I just wanted to say, “Best Halloween Eve post ever.”

    Okay, gotta go. They’ve got some glass shards to shove under my toenails in an effort to make me talk. See ya all.

  23. Greg Weston says:

    Ah, but the salient question is: “Which Gallagher?”

    Leo, or Ron the pretender?

  24. Doc W0lfram says:

    John Moltz must be in league with the “One World Government” to write this TidBITS-bashing drivel.

    The pictures prove it. How else could he get that candid photo of the OWG Emperor?

    Think about it.

    (But not too long; you don’t want to hurt yourself.)

  25. Apple Lopsider says:

    Noel, Greg. Noel.

  26. TuCats says:

    Wait a minute. Isn’t The Entity sporting a killer beaver these days?

  27. J0n says:

    By the way, check out The PC Weenies’ latest cartoon (at http://www.pcweenies.org/archives.php?toon=1101).

    Where do you think they got the idea? Why, here, of course!

  28. kingthedestroyer says:

    AlGore, killer beavers and satan, the unholy trinity rides again!!!

  29. Mister Rik says:

    So that’s how Al Gore managed to get onto Apple’s Board of Directors! He’s an infiltrator!

  30. FilmPhotoWeb says:

    In the new world order, everyone will be number one, even those of us who can now only aspire to being number thirty.

    And some of my best friends are killer beavers.

  31. Crufty Beever says:

    I gonna go get that diagram tatooed on my chestal area before the drugs wear off 🙂

  32. ripragged says:

    The diagram is useless. That isn’t Gallagher. It’s Daniel Lyons.
    And killer beavers are black with white markings. Moltz has been running around without his foil hat again.

  33. na says:

    Baphomet is not satan. Lazy reporting.

  34. schoonerman says:

    Killer beavers now. A step up from the killer rabbit which attacked one of our presidents in the middle of a lake.

  35. THE NERVE!
    I took out some of my precious personal time and tried to help the iTards at Tidbits.com, I sent a message to their boards:

    “FSJ is toast!
    People now realize that this Copy-Boy was a huge fraud perpetrated on them by Frorbes, Angst had it right, read the fake Steve Ballmer website, it’s faaaarrr more entertaining, accurate, informative ….”

    These people sent an email back to me rejecting this message!
    Well Mr. Kissel, Mr Angst! You want to keep your subscribers in the dark, or maybe you are afraid of THE TRUTH!
    If you are righteously outraged by this snub of me, write these wannabes and voice your utter disgust of their tactics and narrow-mindedness!

    However, Mr. Angst, you can redeem yourself by doing any two of the following:
    1. Post everything I have sent.
    2. Link my blog on your front page for a year.
    3. Send a letter of apology to all of your subscribers.
    4. Publicly denounce all non-MS software.
    5. Have Angst resign

    …. Geting back on my good side will be just that easy, “For I am Kind!”