12 Nov 07Steve Jobs Offers Further "Thoughts".

In a bizarre misfiring of Apple’s usually spot-on PR machine, CEO Steve Jobs issued another in his continuing series of public blog-style posts on Apple’s web site. While other offerings covered digital music and third party applications for the iPhone, the subject of today’s missive was unexpected.

In a 5,000 word essay published today, Jobs offered his “Thoughts On Hotpants”.

Whatever happened to hotpants? Man, I really digged those. Those were awesome. Women should start wearing those again. I’m sure they couldn’t have been terribly comfortable – kind of like walking around with a permanent wedgie.

Why do some people say “wedgie” and some people say “snuggy”? Are those the same thing?

Anyway, man did they look hot! Hey, is that where they got the name?! “Hot pants”? Wow, I just thought of that.

Man, I am so baked.

Do brownies have animal products in them?

Eh, screw it. I’m getting me some brownies.

Some Apple followers took this as a sign that the company would be branching out into the realm of crotch-cutting women’s fashions.

“I’ve long thought that Apple should make sexy garments for fabulous babes,” said Your Mac Life‘s Shawn King.

“But I think that about a lot of companies.”

Apple spokesperson Cynthia McLaren refused to confirm or deny whether or not Jobs’ opining on the subject of hotpants indicated a new direction for the company.

“All I know is, I have to go out and get a big plate of brownies,” McLaren sighed.

34 Responses to “Steve Jobs Offers Further "Thoughts".”

  1. baxtrice says:

    First! (and now for brownies!)

  2. masonk says:

    Mrph. Hot pants and brownies don’t mix well.

  3. digitalcowboy says:

    Top three. No brownies for me, thanks.

    Chicks in hot pants, yes, please.

  4. comacnut says:

    I think they should give hot pants a shot. I mean look at how the whole iPod socks thing turned out.

  5. Amazingly, people CAN type when they’re baked. That is unless, Stevie plans ahead and had the universal settings let him dictate in. All I ask is that he stick with the jeans and turtle for public appearances, and none of the usual department heads get the idea to appear in a video chat wearing Jobs’ choice wardrobe…

    *shutters*

  6. Nxxx says:

    You are correct Carbo, everyone knows it should be ‘dugged’.

  7. Anonymous says:

    “Special” brownies????

    I’ll be right back.

    Maybe.

  8. scared monster, also known as Living Proof Of Something, Surely, says:

    iHotPants Express
    the next step beyond.

    To be released soon. (Pre-order now)

  9. Huh? says:

    Pants? Why didn’t you say so sooner?
    My Pants™ are hot… Oh, yeah… Sizzlin’!!!!

    What? Not that kind of hot?
    Oops. My bad.

  10. Ace Deuce says:

    I never really liked hot pants. They made me look fat.

    The past tense of “digged” is “have duggen,” I think. Do you grok?

  11. FilmPhotoWeb says:

    New product: iBaked.

    15 is not a prime number.

  12. CB says:

    Whoa! everybody’s out tonight posting up a storm.

    16 is the best.ever

  13. Streetrabbit says:

    This reminds me of my first ever comment on CARS, about Tiffany Amber Thiessen and lederhosen. A question that’s still to be answered I might add.

    Of course I was Steve Ballmer’s Rabbit back then.

  14. scared monster, also known as Living Proof Of Something, Surely, says:

    Like : «Run, Steve, Run ! Catch the rabbit !» ?

  15. fractured cell says:

    WE WANT BROWNIES!!!
    WE WANT BROWNIES!!!
    NOW!!!

    (er…please?)

  16. TuCats says:

    Unfortunately, what with Mr. Job’s increasing chronological advancement, I fear that when he says “hot pants” he doesn’t mean tight short shorts, but rather labored breathing and sweating.

    XX!

  17. Apple Lopsider says:

    Shawn King has totally missed the point, yet again. Yes, Jobs pointed out that there is a market demand for hotpants, but it is not Apple’s target audience. Instead, Jobs is hinting at Apple brownies in the near future. Possibly a fresh batch in time for January’s expo.

  18. Anomynous says:

    I fear that when he says “brownies,” Jobs actually means little girls in brown scout outfits.

  19. Doc W0lfram says:

    First Tonkatsu Curry, http://www.crazyapplerumors.com/?p=970#comments and now iBrownies!

    If Anomynous is correct, then the iBrownies are just an updated version of the Ninja sexbot line? Or do we need to cross the Tonkatsu Curry with iBrownies?

    Del, where are you when we need you? http://www.crazyapplerumors.com/?p=782#comments

  20. Golden Book of Jokes says:

    Not only chicks but dogs…because In the winter he wears a fur coat, but in the summer he wears a coat and hot pants.

  21. Anonymous says:

    I was told that someone here was looking for sexbot, iBrownie, & Tonkatsu Curry crosses.

    I’ve got an alpha version available.. but don’t get it wet. The iBrownie makes it a little too mushy.

    That and they always seem to hum McArthur Park.. Non Stop…

  22. Del says:

    OOPS that was from me…. Haven’t finished getting my leopard domesticated

  23. blank says:

    It’s okay Steve. I’m not too proud to admit that I like hot pants too. Brownies are also good.

    Brownies in hot pants… don’t go there. I mean it!

    You people are sick.

  24. kingthedestroyer says:

    mmmmmmmmm, brownies uuuuugh

  25. Apple Lopsider says:

    So a chap by the name of, uh, Pantalones, made an especially incisive observation which he posted to the wrong CARS article. Anyway, here’s the link he surfaced:

    http://www.crazyapplerumors.com/?p=882

    Clearly, Jobs is being self-referential.

    He could also be hinting that Mac will see some exclusive Tomb Raider games. You know, ’cause Lara Croft wears… oh, never mind.

  26. Walking Contradiction says:

    mmmmmmm … forbidden brownies … 😉

    At some time in the not-so-distant past, Ace Deuce posted something to the effect of:

    The past tense of “digged” is “have duggen,” I think.

    Actually, “have duggen” would be the Future Semiconditionally Modified Subinverted Plagal Past Subjunctive Intentional tense, but I aint’ never been no good at them tense things. They’re too tense for me.

    I’m pretty sure the past tense for “digged” would be “dugged”, but see my last paragraph before betting the farm on it.

  27. Walking Contradiction says:

    Oh, I almost forgot … Laura Croft in hotpants is pretty exciting, almost as exciting as you-know freaking who. Don’t make me lose it again, you know who I mean.

    I’m trying very hard (pun intended) to not think of *her* in hotpants. So far it’s not working. Excuse me for a bit, will you?

    GO AWAY! CLOSE THE DOOR!!

  28. inverted fireplug says:

    I once knew a girl who could be seen in hotpants at least once every day. And she didn’t seem to care what anyone thought. She was so young and carefree.

    Well, at least they would get hot for a minute. And then they would cool down, and she would start to cry, and I would have to change them. Especially if she had also made ‘brownies’ in them. if you know what I mean.

  29. Dark Lord Ubuntu says:

    Last!

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