13 Nov 07Apple Offers New "Tour" Video.

Apple is offering yet another video introduction to one of the company’s most discussed products. Hosted by “John” of “Leopard Tour” fame, the “Tour of iPod Socks” was release late this afternoon to the bewilderment of many.

While instructional videos are generally considered a plus, Apple followers were at a loss to explain why the company would release one concerning nothing more than a knitted sleeve you slide your iPod into to protect it from scratches.

“I don’t even think they make iPod socks anymore,” said a confused Walt Mossberg of the Wall Street Journal. “Do they? I hope not.”

At the time of publication, no one Crazy Apple Rumors Site reporters spoke with had been willing to waste the time to download the video, so no one was able to discuss why it was over a half hour long.

“You slide it in, you slide it out,” said Macworld associate editor Dan Moren. “What the hell could they possible have to discuss in a half an hour? How to launder them?”

Pausing momentarily and stroking his beard, Moren said “Hmm. It could be how to launder them.”

Sources at Apple defended the decision to waste their time to create this video and offer it for download from iTunes.

“Hey, there are a good fifteen or twenty people who’ve bought iPod Socks,” said iPod product marketing manager Stan Ng. “That’s well worth the, um, $100,000 we spent creating this video.”

Ng shuffled his feet uncomfortably for a minute.

“Actually, um, no it’s not. At a price per unit of $29 that’s just not possible. I realize that. It’s, um, it’s… I didn’t… er…

“It was Phil [Schiller]’s idea.”

Suddenly, Mossberg burst into the room and exclaimed “Oh, my god! They do still sell them! Does this make sense to anyone?!”

Mossberg was followed by Moren who said “You know, it could be that long to discuss how to strategically dry the iPod Socks in order to move down from the older units that used larger hard drives to new units.”

In the confusion of the appearance of Mossberg and Moren, Ng escaped through a side door.

29 Responses to “Apple Offers New "Tour" Video.”

  1. Dan Pourhadi says:

    that’s right, Moltz: First.

  2. digitalcowboy says:

    Two in a row, top three.

  3. Seano says:

    mengage is a dish best served a trios

  4. Seano says:

    er menage

  5. loci says:

    Sock! Sock! Sock! Sock!

  6. John Moltz says:

    Mmmm.

    Delicious mengage.

    Actually, that doesn’t sound so good.

  7. hawkman says:

    Sock it to me, baby (uhuh, uhuh)!

  8. Ahnyer Keester says:

    Top ten and I’m not wearing socks.

  9. Ahnyer Keester says:

    Actually, I think Moren is on to something. Maybe the video is that long in order to explain how to warsh your iPod socks and have them not disappear in the dryer! Ya think?

  10. FilmPhotoWeb says:

    Does that guy look a little Steve Jobsy?

    perfect 10

  11. CB says:

    Just missed top X.

  12. Twelve! Twelve! Twelve! Twelve!
    I sing a song of twelve!
    How many is tweeeeeeeeeeelve?

    One!
    Two!
    Three!
    Four!
    Five!
    Six!
    Seven!
    Eight!
    Nine!
    Ten!
    Eleven!
    Twelve!

    Twelve cream pies………….aargh.

  13. CB says:

    “…no one Crazy Apple Rumors Site reporters spoke with had been willing …”

    you mean, “… no one that Crazy Apple Rumors Site reporters spoke with was willing…”

  14. CB says:

    Good catch, Ayner Keester. I was going to catch that ball myself.

  15. blank says:

    This is probably a good time to mention iPod hot pants.

    Or not, apparently…

  16. scared monster, also known as Living Proof Of Something, Surely, says:

    And not even a link to that video ?
    Is that so hard ?
    «I’m eighteen, I can go in»

  17. Cochrane says:

    You know what’s really disturbing? That Apple includes a list of compatible iPods at the bottom of that page. And what’s even worse? Some iPods are absent from that list. I mean, come on, how on earth can the iPod shuffle be incompatible with socks? It just doesn’t work that way.

  18. Nxxx says:

    Perhaps they are explaining how iPod socks have strong pairing attraction, ridding the human race of the perennial problem of never being able to find a matching pair of socks.
    Or
    If you run the video backwards, it contains satanic porn.

  19. Huh? says:

    I… Um…

    The… uh….
    The shuffles are really incompatible with the socks?

    Maybe it’s a matter/anti-matter ‘thing’

    Or maybe it just doesn’t matter.
    *sigh*

    My Leopard has been misbehaving… Sorry if I seem a bit out of sorts…

  20. Ace Deuce says:

    I wish I had tuned in earlier because iPod Socks are just about my favorite appliance accessory thus far. Much better than the Zune Ear Muffs. Almost as good as the Walk-In Freezer Sweater.

  21. Streetrabbit says:

    I’m a little disappointed Moltz didn’t make the little extra effort to create a full spoof video.

    Don’t tell me there’s a shortage of out of work hobo actors in Tacoma.

  22. buthidae says:

    I’ll stick with my twenty-two Walkman Booties, thank you very much.

  23. Loose Leaf says:

    The iPod socks have a 4 out of 5 star rating with 879 reviews. If they sell 121 more, they may finally clear out that initial 1,000 sock run.

    Reading the iPod sock reviews is almost as entertaining as CARS. Almost, but not quite.

  24. TuCats says:

    The key quote is:

    “You slide it in, you slide it out,” said Macworld associate editor Dan
    Moren. “What the hell could they possible have to discuss in a half an
    hour? How to launder them?”

    If you slide it in and slide it out for half an hour, please, for the love of all that is J(F)C, *do* wash them.

  25. kingthedestroyer says:

    If you help Jack on with the iPod sock, should you help Jack off the iPod sock?

    J(F)C
    oops! I guess he’s talkin bout Jennifer, not Jack, well, it just doesn’t make sense Jennifer…2

  26. fractured cell says:

    “Nxxx Says:
    November 13th, 2007 at 11:43 pm
    Perhaps they are explaining how iPod socks have strong pairing attraction, ridding the human race of the perennial problem of never being able to find a matching pair of socks.
    Or
    If you run the video backwards, it contains satanic porn.”

    YAY for satanic porn…
    all together now…

  27. Biff Whammy says:

    “.. to discuss _who_ to strategically dry the iPod Socks …” Shouldn’t that be “who _is_?” As in, “Who is to dry these socks?” That would make a lot more sense. I mean, some people wouldn’t have a clue as to how to dry them without either a) preserving their aspect ratio entirely, or b) shrinking them to the point that they’d only fit Shuffles. There’s an art to these things, you know.

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