The Kilo Post.

Hey! Looky there! Welcome to post 1, 00!

As it suddenly occurs to me we’ve been busting our humps for over 999 posts (a number of posts didn’t come over in the great Movable Type to WordPress conversion). So we’re taking a day off.

You got a problem with that? Eat it.

Frankly, you people brought this on yourselves. I frankly don’t look at those numbers because they don’t really mean jack diddly, but a number of you pointed it out to me and tried to put all this pressure on for it to be this big deal and were talking about how everyone would get free ice cream and there would be pudding and pony rides and unexpected visits from old friends like Vinz Machete and Glaarku and Gary and Jon Rubinstein.

Hey, did you know he’s at Palm now? Ha-ha! Good luck with that, Ruby!

But anyway…

Here we are.

Oh, but for ellipsis fans, don’t worry. That won’t be all. There’s another one coming up.

I know I keep saying stuff like “Oh, no post today because my sewer line is out” (it actually is out, but do you care? Noooo.), but isn’t this really a post? When is a post not a post?

Hmm. Probably when it doesn’t discuss an Apple rumor, I guess.

OK, fine.

As a boy, Steve Jobs fired a puppy.

No, really. It’s true. It’s on the Internet, isn’t it?

OK. Now, the Kilo Post… (there you go) is yours.

Try not to mess up the side view mirrors.

And don’t play with the radio.

58 thoughts on “The Kilo Post.”

  1. The last time you told us not to play with the radio, we changed all the pesets to play Montavani 24/7. That was priceless!

  2. Since I’m the only one here, I’ll take this opportunity to announce my endorsement of Pat Paulsen for President of the United States. I hope I don’t hurt his chances…

  3. Kilo Post?

    Hey, you could have called it a “Kilo-Gram.” You know, like a telegram, but with a kilo instead of a tele. Man, that would have been comedy gold.

    Wonder if the networks are ready to hire scab labor to replace the striking comedy writers yet?

  4. MOAR MURLOCKS MENZ MOAR LULZE!IOegxzfksl’gfKS>:sdfgksjfKLSJFkl;sDFJ’LSdfjOegxzfksl’gfKS>:sdfgksjfKLSJFkl;sDFJ’LSdfjOegxzfksl’gfKS>:sdfgksjfKLSJFkl;sDFJ’LSdfjOegxzfksl’gfKS>:sdfgksjfKLSJFkl;sDFJ’LSdfjOegxzfksl’gfKS>:sdfgksjfKLSJFkl;sDFJ’LSdfjOegxzfksl’gfKS>:sdfgksjfKLSJFkl;sDFJ’LSdfjOegxzfksl’gfKS>:sdfgksjfKLSJFkl;sDFJ’LSdfjOegxzfksl’gfKS>:sdfgksjfKLSJFkl;sDFJ’LSdfjOegxzfksl’gfKS>:sdfgksjfKLSJFkl;sDFJ’LSdfjOegxzfksl’gfKS>:sdfgksjfKLSJFkl;sDFJ’LSdfjOegxzfksl’gfKS>:sdfgksjfKLSJFkl;sDFJ’LSdfjOegxzfksl’gfKS>:sdfgksjfKLSJFkl;sDFJ’LSdfjOegxzfksl’gfKS>:sdfgksjfKLSJFkl;sDFJ’LSdfjOegxzfksl’gfKS>:sdfgksjfKLSJFkl;sDFJ’LSdfjOegxzfksl’gfKS>:sdfgksjfKLSJFkl;sDFJ’LSdfjOegxzfksl’gfKS>:sdfgksjfKLSJFkl;sDFJ’LSdfjOegxzfksl’gfKS>:sdfgksjfKLSJFkl;sDFJ’LSdfjOegxzfksl’gfKS>:sdfgksjfKLSJFkl;sDFJ’LSdfjOegxzfksl’gfKS>:sdfgksjfKLSJFkl;sDFJ’LSdfjOegxzfksl’gfKS>:sdfgksjfKLSJFkl;sDFJ’LSdfjOegxzfksl’gfKS>:sdfgksjfKLSJFkl;sDFJ’LSdfjOegxzfksl’gfKS>:sdfgksjfKLSJFkl;sDFJ’LSdfjOegxzfksl’gfKS>:sdfgksjfKLSJFkl;sDFJ’LSdfjOegxzfksl’gfKS>:sdfgksjfKLSJFkl;sDFJ’LSdfjOegxzfksl’gfKS>:sdfgksjfKLSJFkl;sDFJ’LSdfjOegxzfksl’gfKS>:sdfgksjfKLSJFkl;sDFJ’LSdfjOegxzfksl’gfKS>:sdfgksjfKLSJFkl;sDFJ’LSdfjOegxzfksl’gfKS>:sdfgksjfKLSJFkl;sDFJ’LSdfjOegxzfksl’gfKS>:sdfgksjfKLSJFkl;sDFJ’LSdfjOegxzfksl’gfKS>:sdfgksjfKLSJFkl;sDFJ’LSdfjOegxzfksl’gfKS>:sdfgksjfKLSJFkl;sDFJ’LSdfjOegxzfksl’gfKS>:sdfgksjfKLSJFkl;sDFJ’LSdfjOegxzfksl’gfKS>:sdfgksjfKLSJFkl;sDFJ’LSdfjOegxzfksl’gfKS>:sdfgksjfKLSJFkl;sDFJ’LSdfjOegxzfksl’gfKS>:sdfgksjfKLSJFkl;sDFJ’LSdfjOegxzfksl’gfKS>:sdfgksjfKLSJFkl;sDFJ’LSdfjOegxzfksl’gfKS>:sdfgksjfKLSJFkl;sDFJ’LSdfjOegxzfksl’gfKS>:sdfgksjfKLSJFkl;sDFJ’LSdfjOegxzfksl’gfKS>:sdfgksjfKLSJFkl;sDFJ’LSdfjOegxzfksl’gfKS>:sdfgksjfKLSJFkl;sDFJ’LSdfjOegxzfksl’gfKS>:sdfgksjfKLSJFkl;sDFJ’LSdfj

  5. I see Carbonfish has nothing to say, except a bullet/dot. Is that supposed to be an ellipsis? I think not.

    ……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….

    There, that’s better.

  6. A thousands posts eh!?

    And when you started everyone told you how strange you were and how you’d be lucky to make 100 posts or if you did make 1000 it’d only be because you’d be writing Crazy Dell Rumors by then.

    Well what did they know? Nuthin’ that’s what.

    Except for the strange part. Got that right.

    XOXO

  7. Wow, post 1000. That really brings back all those sweet memories, like when…. ehh, like….. hmmm…

    Anyhoo, who’s gonna get comment 1000 on post 1000?

  8. honk

    honk

    honk

    HOOOOOOOOOOOOOONNNNNNNNNNNNNNNKKKKKKKKKKKKKK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-

    Wah? He never said we couldn’t… did he? Right, he 1000 times didn’t!

    HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONNNNNNNNNNNNNNNKKKKKKKKKKKK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    (and even if he did… PFWAHHH, he’s not the boss of me!)

    <SCRE-

    OH? Common…

  9. That’s-a Mantovani… Mant-O-vani! How many times I’m-a tellin’ you… the middle-a syllable is an “O”! All the time you-a doin’ this to me — make-a me come back from-a the dead, just because you can’t-a remember how to say-a my name! Non mi scazzare i coglioni, cafone!

  10. Hey Mantovani, I misspelled your name, but at least I got all the letters in there!

    I also misspelled preset, but you don’t see him crawling out of his grave to give me grief. Sheesh! (Did I spell that right? Shish, scheiss, whatever…)

  11. 1000th post! Who’d have thought that someone could come up with that amount of… of…

    Anyway, congrats, mate, amazing job so far.

    Cheers
    Klayman

    PD: I played with the radio. Can’t believe you’ve got an old Philco 802. I thought those were all in museums or something…

  12. Congrats on the 1000th post, John!

    By the way, why is there all of that old (already chewed) chewing gum in the ashtray? Don’t you ever clean this thing out?

    Any money I find in the seats is mine. (Or would that be, “All your money in the seats are belong to me!”?)

  13. With a 1000 choice posts like we’re used to around here you know there’s got to be pony somewhere close. And a man with a shovel.

  14. This is comment #206068. Which means … absolutely nothing! But, I forced an ellipsis in there. Does that count?

    And for some reason, when I saw “radio” in the post, I kept thinking of “Mexican Radio” (if you really want to know too much about this song, check the Wikipedia entry). I’m not really sure why I did that.

  15. It’s just a number!!! What about all that Y2K stuff,… remember that, the world came to an end and everybody died??? That was just a number wasn’t it, a bigger one maybe, but a number just the same.

  16. Who started the Crazy Del Rumors? I don’t appreciate it. Plus like 98% of those rumors are substantiated fact.. SO THERE!

  17. john (#10), please refrain from writing your repetitive random regurgitations outside the reserved rim; that room is for advertising the recently-released Ratatouille.

  18. I’m not sure how, your passenger side rear view mirror now points towards the front of the car.

    The radio only picks up AM, so I’m not messing with that.

    The 8 track collection you got in the back seat, now that is something.

  19. At an average of 2 Posts per week, that means you’ve been doing this for 9.6 years or 67.2 dog years, 84.6 evil goat years, 72,347 fruit fly years.

    You Rock!!!!!! (FYI, .000000001 rock years)

  20. Sorry John, I had to change the station. One more Michael Bolton or Richard Marx song and I was going to have to puke all over the upholstery…



  21. A THOUSAND POSTS MAY IMPRESS THE PUNY MORTALS, AND MAYBE GLAARKU, BUT FOR THOSE ACCUSTOMED TO TRUE UNSPEAKABLE HORROR, THIS IS AS NOTHING! CONGRATULATIONS ANYWAY!! ENJOY YOUR PUNY ACCOMPLISHMENT WHILE YOU STILL CAN!!!

    OH FORGET IT, I’M GOING BACK TO THE DREAMS!!!!!

  22. Well, crap. Missed my chance to take the first 11 posts.

    And I broke the driver’s side mirror with an Ubuntu.

    Who’s got the 8-track Zooon adapter?

  23. The adapter is in the trunk, under the empty beer cans. If you make it to the flat spare tire, you went too far.

    Anyone got an 8 track cleaner? The Allman Brothers aren’t sounding quite right.

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