We’ll be back on the 2nd.

Or 3rd.

Sometime before Macworld.

Or not.


In the comments, let’s hear what you got for Solstice.

I’m sorry. Buddhamas.

Wait, that’s not right either.


Well, the thing with Charlie Brown and Frosty and Rudolf.

Oh, and hey, did everyone know that Rudolf was all about puberty? I’m serious. What. The. Hell? If you haven’t seen it in a while, watch it again. I’m telling you, puberty. It’s like a great big early ’60s morality play about puberty. Puberty, puberty, puberty.

Isn’t that weird? Do you think the people who made it did that deliberately or was it some post-’50s repression thing?

And I don’t think I have to tell you what Freud would say the giant snow monster means.

No sir.

Of course, he said that about everything.

Anyway, hope you had a happy Pube-mas.

38 thoughts on “Oh…”

  1. What’d I get? Ummm, I’m not sure… It’s clean, and clear and white… and grey. There’s an apple on it and I like it very much.

    Oh and thanks, Huh?

  2. The gifts I received are indescribable, except by using the word “indescribable.”

    My gift for Mr. Moltz was having the Blazers whup the Sonics on Christmas. In your face!

  3. Forgive me if I am wrong, but are’nt you a RUMORS site? This is prime rumors season, and you are shutting it down for 2 or 3 weeks? What a joke….

    Oh, wait… nevermind.

  4. I didn’t receive anything.
    I didn’t want to, too.
    I giveth, and doest not wait something back.

    And I am on top 14.
    I hope.

    Did Apple give you some fake money to fake-shut-off ?

  5. you got it all wrong, John; Rudolph was about gay rights. Red nose? geddit? And ashamed to “come out”? See? And then gets to lead the sled? And since Santa as we know him is an image designed and imposed by Coca Cola, that’s also quite significant.

    Do the thinking, make the connections, is all I’m saying.

    Cuz I don’t see any…

    Happy friggin’ 2008 to you all, mates. Thanks for a long year of good laughs.

    Signing off ’till next year

    PD: Yeah! Top 15!

  6. Now that CARS is the premiere Apple rumor website, the entire staff and readership is invited to attend the 23rd annual MacWorld SF Netter’s Dinner on Thursday of MacWorld.

    It used to be restricted to people who could successfully configure their 1200 baud modem, locate and connect to a local BBS where they could hear other morons lie about upcoming hardware (ooo, a 1MB MacPlus) and software (Lotus Jazz!). Now, thanks to the Net, just about anyone can find CARS and hear lies about upcoming sexbots and iMacs, so it’s now restricted to people who can cough up the $18 for a hot and spicy buffet meal in a cavernous room lovingly referred to as the “Mac Cave”.

    MacWorld 2008: Sexbots – This time for sure!

    Oor maybe the iTablet. You never can tell.

  7. Having gone through puberty in the 60s I’d have to totally agree with Moltz on this one. It is about puberty. Big, red, glowing, swollen thing sticking out in front of you and all. Puberty. Yep. Pimples. Big, red blots on your face that everyone can see and you can do nothing about.

  8. All I got for Ripmas was my two front teeth. Of course, that’s all I wanted. It’s been so long since I could say, “Sister Susie sitting on a thistle.” I don’t have any sisters for one thing. If I did, I don’t think I’d be able to say that without laughing until I cried anyway, so the extra two teeth will just be kind of a bonus. Although I’ll have to relearn how to drink with a straw now that I don’t have that big gap anymore.

    Next year I want my own girl’s soccer team.

  9. Worked through the Summer,
    Worked through the Fall,
    All I got for Christmas is a pair of overalls.
    There ain’t a thing for a poor man in this world.

    – Old Crow Medicine Show – my 33rd most favorite group of 2007

  10. And I got an iPod touch! And… I’m touching it! A lot!
    But for my enemies… only Zunes, mate. Only Zunes.

  11. Forgot on my last post that Christmas is a twelve day festival so
    On Boxing day a John Moltz and Steve Jobs mounted on Rudolph
    27th, a statue of Rudolph pulling a sledge containing John, Steve and the Woz.
    28th, Not sure who the fourth guy in the sleigh is, possibly Schiller
    29th, Very worried as these are full size Portland Stone carvings and the floor is beginning to creak. Hark! The door bell. Must be the postman. Good Morrow my good man what have you today. Ow bloody hell I can’t……………………………

  12. I…..

    I’m not even sure I could possibly come up with something to fit into this morass.

    I’m taking my iPhone and going somewhere else for a bit.

    Happiness to all. Even you, John.

  13. After moving to the middle of no-where (and several beers), I came up the the “Naro-Escape” 12 days of Xmas. Think of 50+ acres near Walton’s mountain … that’s in Virginia John-boy! (you younguns can Google πŸ˜‰ 180+ year old house that was not lived in for several years and a 200+ year old cemetery … I do have room for my pony whenever Jobs gets off his ass and ships it.

    On the twelfth day of Christmas,
    the Escape ghost sent to me
    Twelve bug bombs,
    Eleven chigger bites,
    Ten wasp nests,
    Nine acres to cut,
    Eight dog paws,
    Seven boxes of ammo,
    Six packs of beer,
    Four snakes outside,
    Three field mice,
    Two snakes in the house,
    And one dead bird on the floor

  14. ζ–°εΉ΄γ‚γ‘γΎγ—γ¦γŠγ‚γ§γ¨γ†οΌ

    Happy year of the mouse (or rat if you prefer)!

  15. I got Peace on Earth Good Will To Menβ„’. Unfortunately, UPS said they lost it in transit.

    Idiots. I had to kill and rob many people to save up for that gift.

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