04 Jan 08My 2008 Predictions

Check ’em out, courtesy the fine folks at Macworld.

For some reason mine are last. I’m sure it was in alphabetical order or something.

Hmm. But Moren should come after Moltz.

Oh! Blood type! It’s by blood type. I’m O+.

No Responses to “My 2008 Predictions”

  1. running says:

    second in second!!!111

  2. Ace Deuce says:

    Yow! Predictions. Almost as good as rumors.

  3. CB says:

    You meat-eater, you.

  4. Ace Deuce says:

    John, congratulations for getting the coveted cleanup spot in the batting order. They got on base, you knocked them in.

    You’d think Cupertino could manage a better name for the boy-band, though.

  5. Huh? says:

    Wafer thin? I couldn’t possibly…

    Look! It’s a Newton…..
    Hey, I’m still… OW!

    I am SO gonna use Apple’s toothbrush!

    My Pants™ hail your prognosticative abilities, John!

  6. Rev says:

    Yeah, you almost got them to print “Bitch thinks she can use my toothbrush!” this time.
    Great work JM

  7. Coolhandluke says:

    So I was off base damnit. I thought for sure that John was gonna talk about the new lawsuit leveled against Apple claiming it was a monopoly. you should really check it out. Its wonderfully hilarious.


  8. digitalcowboy says:

    So you’re one of “the brightest minds of the Mac universe,” eh, Moltzy? Pretty fancy. And you even managed to steal the humor crown from Ihnatko. That’s no small feat.

  9. madogdidit says:

    Loved the toothbrush, 11th

  10. chouffie says:

    John, it’s customary to save the best for last…

  11. Moof says:

    Christ. No sexbots (probably canceled because Stevie is PO’d at the current robotic management). And no friggin ponies … again. This year is going to suck. Will the toothbrush work with an imaginary pony? Is it really an attempt by the DRM (Disastrous Robotic Management) to secretly introduce micro-robotics throughout the Mac world where they will simultaneously turn on their pseudo masters and choke them all to death?

    12 or something. Slow day!

  12. The Miner Mi Nes and the Assayer As says:

    (Sung to the tune of “Nanny Nanny Boo Boo”)

    Apple’s making a Newton!
    Apple’s making a Newton!
    Apple’s making a …


    Gaaack! My throat!

    Choke, choke… Four… cough … teen!

  13. That's ORGANIC Chemistry! says:

    I always thought that

    Polly Esther and The Key-Tones*

    would make a great band name. Too bad it has nothing to do with Apple, per se…

    Annnnd… Fifteen!

    * http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ketone

  14. Biff Whammy says:

    What’s with the toothbrush thing, anyhow? Childhood trauma?

  15. Matt says:

    A toothbrush would probably be better than those cubes they came out with years back.

  16. Carbonfish says:

    Top twenty and I didn’t show up until the next day… What gives?

  17. zacksback says:

    ….but would the toothbrush work on the pony?

    Anyway, it’s a relief to know that the RIAA SWAT Team won’t be
    grabbing my ipod for my rips. That piece of insanity rose
    my blood pressure badly.

    And, John, since the comments here are the therapy part of this
    blog, you could save yourself many minutes and words by just
    throwing out a couple insightful thoughts and pithy phrases
    and leave the rest to the inmates.

    This is my entry for the Most Useless Comment Award ™

  18. Spunkmeyer says:

    I am assuming you are keeping the “SexBot Touch” as exclusive content for your own web site in the coming week…

  19. VZ says:

    I just jailbroke your toothbrush. That’s right.

  20. Ahnyer Keester says:

    Idiot!! You’re last because you mention John Dvorak! Gosh.

    By the way, the line would have been funnier if it read “John Dvorak will hate Apple more” because that’s how I read it.

    By the way, if you want our help in the future, just post your article in a comment on itself and we’ll give you some great idea to make it funny.

    FUNNIER Yea, I meant funnier.

  21. Steve G. says:

    “The device will be wildly popular because nobody likes it when someone else uses their toothbrush.”

    Best. Line. Ever.
    Too bad (for them) that 99 and 44/100% of Macworld readers won’t get it.

  22. Roberta K. says:

    Haven’t you heard of saving the best for last? 😉

    Nice — though I’m going to be at the keynote and not sure I want to get caught in a nerdgasm…

  23. Rip Ragged says:

    Nerdgasms? I thought those only happened on slashdot – typing chown with one hand.

  24. Psyko says:

    Of course you’re last. “And one more thing…” always comes last.



  25. D0c Wolfram says:

    Congrats, John; you sure used their toothbrush!

  26. Del says:

    Well I heard the toothbrush doesn’t have a user replaceable batteries. Also you can’t use any toothpaste on it, it has to be Apple brand toothpaste.

  27. kingthedestroyer says:

    What I wanted to know about the toothbrush, Does it run OS X, have Wi-Fi (for flossing), blue ray, since HD is dead, and what about the colors, will I have to pay more for black even if it has the same number of brissels.

  28. Spell Belgian says:

    kingthedestroyer, you misspelled Brussels, and you didn’t finish your sprouts.

  29. Tom says:

    Sorry kingthedestroyer @ 29 we’re all gonna have to shell out extra deniro for the optional wireless iFloss.

  30. Your predictions were last because you are even more nuts than the other itards on the list!

  31. needafix says:

    Moltz hasn’t posted since January 4…

    I need a rumor…

    Please, someone give me a new rumor before MacWorld…

    I’m in withdrawal…

    I’ve got the shakes…

    I can’t stop hitting the ….. key….

    Won’t someone please give me a fresh rumor….. and then i’ll be okay …. I promise……..

    If I get a fresh rumor I won’t even say Newton….