Male Computer Users Found To Be Overconfident.

A new study shows that men are more likely to be overconfident about online security than women.

Most people will not find this surprising. Also not surprisingly, Crazy Apple Rumors Site has learned that the researchers also found that Mac-using men are even more overconfident, both about online security and other things.

“I’d be concerned about online security,” said Your Mac Life host Shawn King, “but I already know that I’m totally impervious to malware. Because I’m using a Mac. I mean, duh.

“I also have a very large penis,” King added. “Really quite tremendous.”

As it turns out, King’s outlook on online security and the size of his unit was not unusual for men in the Mac community.

“What’s great about using a Mac is the fact that there are zero viruses,” said Macworld’s Peter Cohen. “I can surf any site, download any file I want with utter impunity. It’s great being a Mac user.

“And my junk is simply huge. Ask anyone.”‘s John C. Welch concurred.

“I don’t really have anything to say about online security,” he said, “but I’d just like to point out that I, too, have a long and lustrous penis.”

Female Mac users reportedly rolled their eyes upon hearing the findings.

51 thoughts on “Male Computer Users Found To Be Overconfident.”

  1. Female Macs are the well-designed curvy ones. Rumors that their CPUs are deliberately underpowered for the sake of good looks are slanderous and untrue. If your Mac has “Pro”, “X”, “Workstation”, or “Phallus 9000” in the model name, it’s a dude. “Air”, “Cube”, or a name that starts with “i”, it’s a chick.

    Also, the vagina is usually a dead giveaway.

  2. You sure know how to stoke our fires John.

    I count three penis references and one (“V” word that I can’t say) in the top ten.

    Great work boys, can’t wait for the real blue stuff around comment 30 when Sweden and Germany come online.

    Possibly last 11.


  3. (sorry for no reference to any sex parts, although I’m not from Sweden or Germany it still only is 8 39 AM over here and my reference hasn’t raised it’s beautiful head. Yet.)

  4. You forgot something, John. Not only are we male Mac users huge, we also know how to use it… and we can go all night long.

    And that’s not overconfidence, it’s proven by hard facts (pardon de pun).

    See, male Windows users are generally so fecked up with all the trouble shooting and useless Help Desk Calling that they don’t have either the time nor the energy to pursue a more active sexual life. Also, Windows and it’s known timewasting, frustrating bugs act like a prolongued inmersion in ice cold water… and we know what happens in those cases. Another thing is, that Macs are “cool” and “hip” and whatnot. They look at their desks and see a sleek, stylish machine. Ask a Dell user what they got.

    Last but not least, Windows users have had Bill Gates for years as role model. We got reality distorting Jobs. ’nuff said.

    Top 20, for one of the last times. John, in the words of the immortal James Brown, “Please don’t go”

  5. Modesty forbids from mentioning the dimensions of my manhood . . . but I do have a dual-quad core Mac Pro with all the trimmings. Baby.

  6. Last eleventeen, I imagine.

    It’s been a good ride, especially what with being a male Mac user (i.e., a Mac user who’s a male, not a user of a male Mac, ’cause that isn’t how I lean) and all.

  7. Don’t care. Not going to read CARS any more. Yep, Friday and I’m done. Not going to read CARS any more after that. Beginning the wind down today.

    See, you’re not leaving us, we’re actually leaving you.

  8. I’m hung like a field mouse but I’m confident in my sex life because I’m completely immune to viruses and I always take a MacBook PRO to bed.

    Wait. That’s not what you said, is it?

  9. My fiancé has decided that her MacBook is really “Maxine Book” and refers to it as “her.”

    She also speaks on its behalf in the voice of a four-year-old girl. Then again, she does the same thing with her car.

  10. Been out of the loop for a few days, what’s this business about John leaving us for a PC with a small penis?

  11. Is it here that there are some big penises wanted ?

  12. Although I think the CARS staff was fooling around during the entire part of school where they covered that thing called research ;-), they certainly got the last paragraph of this story right. I was rolling my eyes before I even read it. 🙂

    But, I think Apple is missing an important marketing angle. Someone there should be reading this.

    John, if you stop doing CARS, I will hire an entity of my own and send it after yours.

  13. Wow, it’s true even in websites… you advertise that you’re closing down and your hits, posts, and sales increase… kinda like something else that’s been mentioned several times here.

    But where are the discounts?

  14. Went to the Apple Store last night to pick up a Mac Pro and they refused me at the door. They said I didn’t measure up. Oh the pain and degradation. No Mac for me.

  15. It’s true. I myself have a penis so large it requires its own LAN, and I frequently stand on street corners handing out cards with my bank account number written on them, daring the passers-by to steal from me.

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