Hiatus? They *loved* us!

Crazy Apple Rumors Site is on indefinite hyenas.

…

Wait, that’s not right…

Oh, no, it is. Upon closer inspection, these do indeed appear to be some indeterminable kind of hyena.

Man, it’s a good thing they’re asleep! Ha-ha! What with the fangs and all!

Ahh…

Anyway, more to the point, we’re also on hiatus.

478 thoughts on “Hiatus? They *loved* us!”

  1. THE 101
    (based on “Suburbanite”
    by Duke Ellington)
    Lyrics by Lorraine Feather

    Woe is today
    My man went away
    He split from the Bay on the 101
    Soon as I knew
    I jumped in the Buick
    Really and truly undone

    And now I’m driving down the 101
    Hope to be arriving
    Wherever he is on the 101

    Bottleneckin’ in Gilroy
    Met my baby in Gilroy
    What’s the cause of this holdup
    Gotta race gotta roll gotta ride

    I gotta move it, keepin’ an eye out
    Bein’ without him ain’t no fun
    Why did he fly out
    Make a beeline down the 101

    Somewhere in Salinas
    Found what was between us
    Bulls-eyed by Cupid’s arrow
    Sittin’ by the lake in Atascadero

    Fell for a smile
    Wide as a mile
    Warm as the California sun
    Started to feel
    That this was the real deal
    A pretty fairytale, just begun

    I’m haulin’ on the 101
    My heart is callin’
    Callin’ me down, down, down

    Couple miles till Buellton
    Decent coffee in Buellton
    Even though I could use a cup
    Gotta race gotta roll gotta ride

    Now and again I’m sure I can see it
    A little ragtop born to run
    No that can’t be it
    It’s a grey-haired lady on the 101

    Right here in Goleta
    We each had chili and a margarita
    Gettin’ antsy in this car
    And the radio’s only gettin’ MOR

    ‘Nother mile to Ojai
    He’s got a mother in Ojai
    Though I know I should stop by
    Once she told him that I was a tramp

    I’m so damn crazy about him
    I’ve had no reason to doubt him
    Don’t want to ride on without him now

    Catchin’ sight of that deep blue sea
    How it always thrills me
    Someday we will swim there again
    As the sun dips down I’m wondering when

    Hold on baby
    I’m drivin’, drivin’
    Don’t crowd me, man
    Not while I’m drivin’

    Beat my best time on the 101
    But can’t say I’m happy I made that drive
    Seems that my baby
    Was goin’ flat out on the

  3. Where in the hell is Goleta? For that matter… where is CARS,,, sob… sniff, sniff.
    My shrink said i have to just get on with life.. post Moltzian…

    Waahoo… page two
    On another note..Does anyone know where all the CARS went to in googleEarth?
    Prodigious amount of Photoshop work… huummmmm…

  4. Re: “we’re also on hiatus.” Who is the WE in “we’re”, John??? Hmmm? Does WE include interdimensional beings capable of assuming various forms including the lickable JFC? Goats? The Flying Spaghetti Monster? Did you make a deal with the FSM to get dibs on your very own beer volcano and selected strippers? Not that I would begrudge you doing that, but inquiring minds want to know!

  5. Oh Ye of little faith!
    ‘We’ is the Royal first person singular, which is the only appropriate way for HRH John to address us, his subjects.

    BTW:-Please do not ask me what the Royal first person plural is.

  28. I can’t believe you guys wasted an entire day arguing over the “we” in hiatus.

    I mean, it’s obvious. Isn’t it?

    John is taking some time off to integrate his fragmented identity; bringing together his Gruber and Moltz personalities. From the consistency and volume of recent DF posts, I’d say Gruber is winning out, though it’s obviously been a bumpy ride. Hopefully, once the process has been completed, the resulting John will be a healthy balance of down-to-earth Gruberian “Apple isn’t always right but its critics are almost always wrong” sarcasm and Moltzy “Steve Jobs is a mock-turtleneck-filled cat king” wit.

  31. To Hel with Del! We can send him off to Krikkit where he can train their killer robots to do battle against the ones still hiding out around here while avoiding their tendency to want to annihilate us in the process.

    When Moltzie gets some, er I mean gets his act together and decides to re-grace himself with his presence, he’ll be pleased.

  32. Actually, Del, I hate to burst your bubble, but it is hydrogen cyanide that smells like almonds (in small amounts, before the threshold). Potassium cyanide is an ionic compound with NO vapor pressure, and thus can’t be smelled. (Unless you snort it, of course. Not recommended!)

    The reason potassium cyanide (KCN) MIGHT smell a little like almonds is that traces of moisture in the air can convert a little KCN to HCN…

    The rest is left as an exercise for the reader.

    I know, I know; TMI.

  34. Do we need to have another iPlug incident around here. (Yes I’m looking at you Moof!)

    It is dudette.

    And D0c I said I wasn’t doing anything with Potassium Cyanide.

    😛

  35. Well, I guess this is the end…

    good buy molts.

    May God have mercy on your soul for abandoning us like this.

  36. Dudette? Dudette, he says shuffling off the side of the page mumbling to himself how the world has gone downhill as his train of thought derails.

  37. Melanie, I think in this case you may need both the kittens AND the KCN’s to do the trick… On the other hand, the Dude/Dudette ratio being what it is around here, maybe it was an honest mistake…

  38. 2000 posting!
    Good to see you’re still around.

    Del, I made the same mistake and you let me live, Moof has only just reached his/her teens.

  39. Awww ok. No blowing stuff up today. Now what am I going to do with all the explosives?

    Hmmm… Psyko’s car keeps coming to mind ….. To the TP!

  42. Del, Since I’m not being blown up, you can pass some of that explosive my way without fear of reprisal. I need to demolish a house later this year and would like nothing better than to get a video of it majestically getting blown to smithereens! The resultant fire will come in handy for the ensuing pig roast / beer fest that will follow!

  43. If you stuff it full of glitter and other shiny things You’ve got a deal. Psyko’s Subaru is safe… for now.

    *Queue suspenseful music*

  44. Del, you may need to hang on to some of the explosives to seal the tunnels off. Can’t seal them off with seals, too many people have been clubbing the baby ones,… not enough left. (or right)

  45. ktd is right.
    Seals are very clubable. They’ve taken over all my teenage dives. Seals rapping, dj-ing, scratching and can you sway so sexily as those seals. Pull all the birds

  46. I have to agree with Nxxx and ktd. I’ve gone clubbing with seals and I just can’t keep up with them. They hear the *thump thump thump* noise of a rave and they are off. They party all night long and man can those suckers down the ecstasy. At least they know the best sushi joints.

  47. Speaking from personal experience, Moof, there are some mistakes you only make once. Of course, the opposite mistake was once made about me.

    As to seal clubbing techno, too many years playing in a punk band have taken their toll on my hearing. Can’t risk further damage. Earplugs can only do so much at this point.

    So in other words, I’ve already been clubbed. Game over!

  48. I’ve always believed that seals were the amphibious cousins of domesticated dogs–an evolutionary branch of the family that wanted to get away from their human overlords and so literally jumped ship. That’s why they bark and have pups. And chase sea-frisbees.

    Since seals are sea-dogs and manatees are sea-cows, somewhere in the shallows there might be sea-dogcows, which would imply a marine computer company which manufactures waterproof notebook computers. This is important because I’ve always wanted a Mac that I could use in the rain.

    If you think I’m going out on a limb with this line of reasoning, you’re using the wrong metaphor; I’m actually going out on a bed of kelp.

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