Crazy Apple Rumors Site is on indefinite hyenas.
…
Wait, that’s not right…
Oh, no, it is. Upon closer inspection, these do indeed appear to be some indeterminable kind of hyena.
Man, it’s a good thing they’re asleep! Ha-ha! What with the fangs and all!
Ahh…
Anyway, more to the point, we’re also on hiatus.
201!
Stupid Shiny! Having a polished aluminum laptop creates havoc on my productivity.
Same reason the polished aluminum sexbots never made it out of Beta testing.
Hmmm. Better not let them know that my tenor is silver-plated with gold-plated keys or they’ll worship it, instead of me.
No problem Nxxx. Around here we all bow to your grateness 😉
N
N
U
get egg
D
S
E
Open Window
enter
Except for the pizzicato, the string section is always bowing, but not necessarily to the greatness of Nxxx.
If you find the shininess too distracting, I suggest welders’ goggles so you can make a proletarian fashion statement.
Every Friday, the losers who still hang around CARS blatantly steal old Friday Night Help Desk articles in an attempt to maintain our sanity until John comes to his senses and comes back and / or the sexbots finally get out of beta.
Q: I have a Performa that I’m thinking of giving to a kid in the neighborhood who doesn’t have a computer. I was wondering if there’s a good site somewhere to download some old games that he could run on OS 9.
A: What?! Who cares?! Don’t you know the iPhone’s coming next week?! iPhone! Yay, iPhone!
Q: So… is that a “no�
A: Uh…
Q: …
A: iPhone! Yay!
Q: [sigh]
Q: I’ve been trying to set up an older Titanium PowerBook as a media server connected to my HDTV – kind of like an Apple TV – but when I connect it using the S-Video cable all I get is black and white. What gives?
A: Oh, my god, have you seen this iPhone tour?! Is that not the bossest thing you’ve ever seen?!
Q: Yes, it’s very nice. But, see, if I can’t watch my movies in color it’s not really…
A: Oh, holy crap, you just swipe to delete an email! Oh, my god! Oh, my god! OH, MY FRICKING GOD!!!
Q: …
A: Wow!
Q: Are you OK?
A: No! I don’t think so! I’ve got the iPhone fever bad! And… I think I’m having some kind of an pulmonary episode.
Q: Should I call someone?
A: Please.
Q: Um…
A: …
Q: Uh…
A: …
Q: Oh, just go ahead.
A: Ah-ha-ha-ha-ha! iPhone! iPhone, iPhone, iPhoooooooooooooone!
Q: I will be so happy when this is over.
A: Ahhhhh! Wheeeeeeee!!! Heh-heh.
Q: …
A: iPhone!
Goggles or face mask? Need some fashion guidance.
I’m glad someone posted Friday’s Help Desk session. I miss that so much already. Thanks, guys!
So, uh… best help desk ever, Moof???
Nah, just a random one to help pass the time. We can start that thread though. Personally, CARS coverage of MacWorld has always been my favorites. This last one was masterful.
I try to visit the Crazy Apple Help Desk more often than the Hurt Desk. Otherwise I start to fall behind the pack. Actually, that should be “even farther behind.”
If it’s any consolation, the Friday Help Desk is frigging gone. Okay? GONE. So shut up and stop whining. Wait a minute. That isn’t consoling, is it. Um how about this: There are worse things than not having a Friday Help Desk, like um… well… there’s ah… er… Okay, skip that. Hey, I know. We could underwrite the Ou/Enderle ticket for President. That might get Moltzy off his lazy hiatus (hyenas, Hyannis, hibiscus, hibachi, whatever).
Sometimes you have to be cruel to be kind and it’s much more fun.
Is this some kind of competition to see who posts the last ever comment on CARS? If so, I win…
It is, but I’m sorry you violated rule # 142 sections a, b, & zz with your post so it is no longer eligible for the competition. Please read the rules and submit again.
Thank You for your CARS End of Days Comments Competition Entry.
I had a hibachi once…they still make those things?
Oh how i love 218.
There WILL be no last post… eternity lasts forever!
CARS for Eternity
CARS forever!
Hybrid CARS for all!
Ya think the hyenas got that Moltz guy?
Them hyenas are mean suckers!
Wait Del, if you look again at the latest edition of the rules, you’ll see that Rule 155 states that an entrant must violate either Rule 142 or 144 to be eligible if it is a Monday in Tacoma when submitted. So Mookerchief is okay on that point. However, going back to rule 12, which states “Comment must be the most recently posted comment on page,” we find that that is no longer the case. So it looks like I win, suckers!
There is never a “last post.” There is only the unending, soul-crushing silence of a shut-down server.
Domain not found…
Good point Ace, but you forgot rule #43 regarding posts submitted at an odd number minute which disqualifies both you and mookerchief . Sorry you’ll need to keep on trying.
I would like the enter the “CARS End of Days Comments Competition”, but I seem to have lost my rule book, so I guess I’ll just have to keep on posting til I can’t.
And blank, thanks for the Domain not found comment,… damn that’s depressing. Almost as bad as the the old face of death, x x
x
____
Hoped that worked.
Nope,.. nevermind
X X
X
_____
Dratz, foiled again,… am I the last post yet?
Wow we almost had a winner!
You lose marks because you used … improperly in a regular expression.
Sorry, everyone. That last post of mine was way too depressing. After all, CARS will live on forever in the Wayback Machine over at archive.org. Right? Same way that Howard (or was it Chet?) is having a great time chasing bunnies on the farm (or was that Thor?). Right?
Fluffy pink bunny-love all ’round…
Right?
Yeah! The Wayback machine! Rule #42 states how many paths a CARS reader must walk in his life time. CARS can reside right up there in forevererness with the likes of Mac the Knife
Okay. Wise me up guys. Why is the rulebook only available in Inuit in the UK. Remember it is global WARMING.
Hey Moof…
Nice Help Desk.
Really.
Not so sure about the ‘Wheeeee’.
Better than ‘Blurrrrrrghph!’, I suppose.
Keep up the good work.
pssssssttttttt. john. you up?
How come I feel so good this morning if Prozac doesn’t work?
Maybe it’s because I’ve never taken Prozac.
Mostly because I love how the word Inuit sounds.
I knew it!
Sorry, I Haida. Can’t help myself. If I Haida bell, I would Tlingit.
The reason Inuit is I ask lots of questions. If I don’t get the answers I need, I Eskimo. If he still comes up short. I’ll find somebody smarter and Alaska.
It takes perseverance.
Damn… missed the last, or next, prime number post… rats… 234 doesn’t make it.
And i thought inuit was plundered by microsloth….
Hope it makes it to 238
need CARS fix… ugggg… need CARS fix…
New MacBooks and MacBooks Pro that look… (wait for it) …just like the previous models!
Technology! Whisky! Sexy!
AH!
They might look the same… But have you tried tasting them yet?
Go on down to your local Apple Store, and give ’em a lick….
*sigh* Really, huh?… you out of lasagna already???
Nope! Got plenty more….
Want some?
Oooo… That’s right. You live 3000 miles away.
Sorry iMoo. 😉
mmmmm Are they tasty my precious? Are they crunchy? My precious! My Precious! Are theyzzes lickable in their Reality Distortion field-wrapped goodness my precious?
I’d love to huh?, but ever since the restraining order I’m not allowed back in an Apple Store.
Tried licking one of the new MacBooks Pro and burned my tongue. It appears they run a bit hotter than the previous models.
Ou! Ou! Ou!
Blank, you need to protect your tongue with an iCondom. Works for me.
That would work only if they were Kevlar or Nomex.
They said that Aqua was lickable, but it was only the screen. Without a screen, the Shuffle is incredibly edible.
My old Tangerine iBook was more lickable in every way. The newer ones are disappointing…
…and hurt-y.
My old strawberry iMac tasted like watermellon, should I have it back?
Just be glad your iMac isn’t the “Blue Dalmation” model! There’s a taste I could do without.
My brown Zune tastes like …. sumpthin really bad
Bugger! Just broken a tooth on my Mini.
First post on Leap Day!
(And Happy Birthday to all Leap Babies, who only get a birthday once every four years!)