Crazy Apple Rumors Site is on indefinite hyenas.
…
Wait, that’s not right…
Oh, no, it is. Upon closer inspection, these do indeed appear to be some indeterminable kind of hyena.
Man, it’s a good thing they’re asleep! Ha-ha! What with the fangs and all!
Ahh…
Anyway, more to the point, we’re also on hiatus.
first after JOn’s 250…
Hey who put the teeth marks in my car?
My leap today topped out at 1.35 meters. Four years ago I achieved 1.51 meters, so I guess the long decline continues.
Too bad about the tooth. I think it’s supposed to be lick, not bite.
My iPod mini tastes like green aluminum, which isn’t actually all that great. My Mini Cooper probably tastes like oil, but I have no interest in checking that since it isn’t an Apple product. If Apple did make cars, I do suspect they’d resemble the Cooper in terms of excellent design, but we’ll probably never know.
Apple’s first transportation-related product will be some sort of accessory for the sexbot line, I expect, something like a sedan chair. That’ll sell more ‘bots since it will take at least two to carry it.
More if you’re on the chunky side, like me.
My mini tastes like salt. Once spring is here it will probably taste like bugs. I’ll let you know.
And now for something completly different;
Que the drum of Doom,
Maybe Moltz only paid the rent to the end of the month,
This could be it,
The last day,
The last post sometime close to midnite PST
DOOM..DOOM..DOOM..DOOOM–
Is it true that commenters that are compelled to lick everything in sight are sexually deprived…
Ya, I heard that somewhere… probably from a shrink.. or did she say depraved,,, hummm… will have to think about that one.
Definitely sexually depraved. Why do you think we are anxiously awaiting for the sexbots to get out of beta. The sicker amongst us are waiting for their ponies.
Every Friday, the losers who still hang around CARS blatantly steal old Friday Night Help Desk articles in an attempt to maintain our sanity until John comes to his senses and comes back and / or the sexbots finally get out of beta.
Q: Hi! [munch-munch]
A: Uh, hi!
Q: Mmmf. Yeah. Hang on a sec. [munch-munch] I’m eatin’ bacon!
A: Wha… oh. Well. OK!
Q: Yeah! Let me just get through this. [munch-munch]
A: Uh… sure. I guess.
Q: Just take a sec. [munch-munch] Mmm. [munch-munch]
A: OK, but… you’re just shoving more into your face.
Q: Well, I got a lot of bacon to go through.
A: Well, why don’t you call back when you’re done.
Q: What?! It’s just a couple dozen rashers of bacon!
A: Uh… I’m gonna move on.
Q: Oh, man!
Q: Wait, there’s bacon?
A: What? No… I mean, that guy…
Q: Well, if he’s getting bacon, I want some bacon.
A: But… I’m not giving out the bacon. He just had his own bacon. And because he was eating it, he couldn’t ask his question.
Q: So… I can ask my question… or I could go out and get some bacon.
A: That’s right.
Q: …
A: Uh…
Q: …
A: Hello?
Q: …
A: Hmm. Well, I’m not sure I blame him.
Q: OK! I’m back! Whew! I finished ‘em! 24 rashers of bacon! Ha-ha! Oooh, man, that was good.
A: OK, well, what’s your question?
Q: Well, I’m thinking about getting a Mac mini to use as a media hub to play music and connect to my TV to play shows downloaded from iTunes. I’m concerned about the [mmph] graphics card, though. [mmph] – excuse me – Is the graphics card in the Mac mini good enough for watching iTunes [mmph] video at high quality?
A: Wait… are you eating something again?
Q: Just pudding.
A: Pudding?! You follow up bacon with pudding?
Q: No! C’mon. I had stick of butter in between.
Nice harvesting, moof. That was one of the more satisfying Help Desks.
Bacon, pudding, butter … I guess we still need farmers.
And farmers’ daughters.
You are absolutely right Ace. Without livestock farmers, where would we keep the Foot and Mouth infected cattle, the bird flu infected chickens or the sheep with blue tongue.
This also means that we must also have banks to keep the compensation in, as too many bank notes under the mattress is uncomfortable as you cannot turn over without hitting the ceiling.
Well, speaking as a person who lives in REALLY rural amerika on 50 acres, close to the bosom of Walton’s Mountain with absolutely no hope of anything faster than my satellite connection, I can honestly say bacon, farm girls, pudding and butter is the way to go. mmmmmmmmm baaaaaaaacooooooooonnnnnn!
Sign in front of the restaurant where I got breakfast this morning:
Apple pancakes bacon sausage
Inside, on the specials menu:
Apple pancakes bacon or sausage
That one little extra word killed the deal.
I love or.
Perhaps it was apple pancakes bakin’ sausage. (talented pancakes)
Imagine my disappointment when I found out that it’s actually “bakin’ powder,” not “bacon powder.” Before that got sorted I’d come up with all sorts of uses for powdered bacon. Now we’ll never know.
At least there’ll be none of that “bacon soda.” Some lines weren’t meant to be crossed.
“Shane! Come back, Shane!”
OMG ROBOTS!
Friggin robots are a tenacious and tricky bunch, aren’t they. Personally, I am more interested in bacon powder. Too late on patenting bacon powder though. A quick google shows prior art.
hmmmm.
Bacon powder -> Bake-on powder -> Bake-on Powder coating. I smell a conspiracy! Bacon Powder coated robots appealing to our love of pork. Those BASTARDS! Next thing you know they’ll be bleeding pudding!
When I first heard of the Hammond Egg Company in Hammond, Oregon, I thought that it was an unfortunate name that would confuse their customers, who would be asking for ham all the time. Then I realized that they’ve got it coming. There’s no free ham in this world. And no ham in a hamburger either, which begs the question: if you do make a “burger” using ham, what do you call it?
Oinkburger?
There is no ham in Hammond Organs either, although it is common in the players.
I missed last Friday because I was away attending my Mom’s 20th birthday party.
Thanks on her behalf to J0n, who wished her and others a happy birthday on Friday.
You’re welcome, D0c. I hope your mother’s 20th birthday was wonderful.
We had a guy at work who celebrated his 13th birthday on Friday. We congratulated him on becoming a teenager!
Moof you are lucky to have satellite! I’m stuck with dial-up at home. A combination of living in a low lying area filled with trees prevents satellite. I keep deciding if I want to install a giant microwave tower and get the internets that way.
If I weren’t so sick, I’d laugh myself to tears over the “Breakfast Casserole” and “Powder by the Pound” ads on the page… perhaps tomorrow.
Over here we have a Thinnest Laptop ever ad.
Del, can I borrow the 32 lb. sledge hammer for a few days?
Del,
Satellite is great … except in rain storms and any time you have to ssh or use SSL … which in my case is frequent. Now if my power was reliable, I’d be set. I am exploring alternatives to getting over some of the mountains to the closest “town” that has high-speed internet. Satellite latency really bites.
One the plus side, having 50 acres, guns, dogs, pond rough terrain and creeks, I can hold my own against the impending robot invasion.
Is Moltz really gone?
Being in MI (and being in a lake effect rain/snow belt) unfortunately we have tons of rain and snow. Gave up on satellite tv since 6 mo out of the year I was up on the roof knocking snow out of the stupid thing. Plus ssh is a big thing for me.
I have horses and kittens to protect me from the imminent robot and/or zombie invasion. \
In ND, we are relying on the cold to stop the robots. I assume that their joints will freeze up at -20 Fahrenheit.
For the heartsick that think Moltz might be kidnapped or worse, be comforted that he is only slacking bigtime. Here’s his blog: http://www.moltz.net/~john/blog/
Moof you’re in good shape until the Hatfield/McCoy model (the FeudBot?) comes out, then you’ll have to out-innovate the Botter Syndicate.
What I’m afraid of is that the invasion will be the real-world equivalent of spamming: the robots will pin you down and detail all the offers you’ll not want to miss. They won’t let you go until you buy something. And then they’ll say, “I’ll be back.”
oh crap. this flu is worse than i thought. could have sworn i heard some mime actually speak…
In Texas we depend on cold steel and hot lead to fend off the robot invasion.
Luckily I have my Fallout Shelter (the link to my name) if I need to resort to hiding out for safety.
We are taking Geordie lessons in the UK. The robots are thrown into confusion when we shout “Awa thlads”. Don’t know what it means but it is more effective than impersonating Brenda with “And what do you do?”.
Last!
Maybe next to last, maybe,… well so far…
where is the iphone sdk coverage
indeed.
I will gladly pay you Tuesday for an iPhone today.
Every Friday, the losers who still hang around CARS(we are getting fewer and fewer, Moltz!) blatantly steal old Friday Night Help Desk articles in an attempt to maintain our sanity until John comes to his senses and comes back and / or the sexbots finally get out of beta.
Today, pressed meats!
Q: I just bought a Mac Pro last week and I got the optional bologna drive.
A: Oh, awesome! So you can burn backups to pressed meat products?!
Q: Exactly. The problem I’m having, though, is that it smells like frying bologna in here now. Blech. Isn’t there a way to burn to bologna without the smell?
A: Ha-ha! Did you just say “burn to bologna�! Ha-ha!
Q: Uh, well, yes. That’s what the option is called.
A: Ah-ha-ha-ha-ha!
Q: Um… OK. But, the smell…
A: Oh, man! Ah-ha! Ah-ha-ha!
Q: You, uh…
A: “Burn to bologna!†Ah…
Q: Um, you know…
A: Man, I bet it smells in there.
Q: That’s what I said!
Q: My mouse failed on me the other day and I was looking around because I thought I had a spare mouse but I couldn’t find it. Not in the drawer of USB stuff. Not in the bucket of former peripherals. But in looking around, I did find a wad of pimento loaf behind my desk, so I though, well, what the hell, I’ll try the pimento loaf. And you know what?
A: Oh, my god! It worked?!
Q: What? No. No. It didn’t. I mean, c’mon. It’s an old wad of pimento loaf.
A: Oh.
Q: I’m not even sure if a fresh wad of pimento loaf can be used as a mouse. And now I have pimento loaf in my USB connector.
A: And you want to know how to get that out.
Q: No, I just sucked it out.
A: Oh. Then why are you calling?
Q: What? I thought you called me.
A: Huh?
Q: What?
A: Uh…
Q: Huh?
A: Er… um…
Q: Wha-huh?
Q: My girlfriend has an iMac that she dropped when she was moving and it’s got a long crack in it now.
A: Ooh.
Q: Yeah. So, what I want to know is, can I fill it with pressed turkey loaf?
A: Pressed turkey loaf?
Q: Yeah. I mean, it’s pretty much the same color.
A: Uh, yeah, but it’s meat.
Q: So?
A: It’s going to start to decay. And attract bugs. And… ew.
Q: Huh. Yeah. But other than that… no problem, right?
A: Well, isn’t that enough? You really think it’s OK to fix your girlfriend’s iMac with meat?
Q: Um… yyyyyyyyyyyynnnnnnnnooooo?
A: Dude.
Q: We haven’t been going out that long!
A: Ah, well, that explains why you’re not splurging on unprocessed turkey.
Q: Oh, I’m totally not ready for that level of commitment.
A: Uhn-huh.
time saved
time saved
Losers…!! I am not a loser, i am a free man and i like it in the village
just don’t send the rovers after me!!
Who is number one?
You are number 6
Fewer?? That’s only because most of us have retired our alter-egos for the duration.
Somebody called me?
Dog-gone it moof! Stop doing that!
Anyway….
So… Three guys walk into a bar.
The fourth one ducks.
Hey! Enjoy the show, tip your waiter, try the veal.
Veal???????
Nice young err dogcow? catbull???? lemming???? kept so it can’t move and killed when only a few days old?
How can you do that to a fellow sentient creature?
Hang on, I’ve seen some of your polticos in action.
Sentient is irrelevant in this discussion.
Watch those veal comments..
I have it on good authority that veal really is…. shuush…. pony loins…
Now,,, sniff… who would …. sob…. pony…. sob… good bye cruel world… sob
Another chasm is opening before us. Do we have our pogostilts and rocket belts at the ready?
Damn, I forgot to stop at the hardware store! I’ll be right back — don’t jump before I return, okay?
I like creeping towards the edge but not the jump.
Step forward the brave.
Ask not, what can Cars do for me but what can I do for Cars.
Jumping gives me the creeps, and creeping makes me jumpy.
I’m wrapping myself in bubble wrap this time, as I find the popping festive.
Um… Gang…
There’s a bridge about 20 feet away, over there.
I mean, if ya’ll REALLY want to pogo across, go right ahead.
I’ll meet you over there…
An Apple keynote isn’t complete without the CARS coverage. How about one on the SDK announcement? Come out of Hiatus ever so briefly….?