However, we are happy to announce that we have secured new funding! That’s right, a small group of angel investors has forestalled the inevitable slide into oblivion that one day faces all once-venerable Apple commmunity sites. At this point they’re basically paying for keeping the lights on – which means we won’t have to have all those ads all over the place like previously (we’re keeping one ad up for beer money and legal fees) – and they paid for the stylin’ redesign you’re looking at.
The last design was a little too tarted up. You know, like a $5 whore. Not that that was in any way inaccurate. But this is more of a return to our roots.
Who are these angel investors, you ask? Well, I don’t really know much about them. Actually, I don’t know anything about them.
Other than they’re brains in glass domes. Yes, literally. And they had enough money to keep the servers on and pay for a redesign.
That was good enough for me! Yes, sir. Most people would have said “Brains in glass domes? That sounds a little fishy. I mean, why the hell would brains in glass domes be funding an Apple rumor site?” And most people would have missed out on some funding, I’ll tell you what. In the fast-paced world of Internet publishing, you can’t look a gift brain in the cerebellum.
I think Guy Kawasaki said that.
Anyway, they assured me that “ALL WILL BE UNFOLDED IN DUE TIME”. And then they laughed.
Which I took as a positive sign. Anyone who likes to laugh is OK in my book.
Hey, they speak in complete sentences which is more than I can say for our last financier.
I didn’t ask where the money came from and they didn’t tell me. For all I know it could be from quatloos they’ve won betting on the outcome of sporting events involving girls in silver bikinis. It’s none of my business!
Although, if they have box seats to any such sporting events, I wouldn’t turn down an invitation some time.
I hope you enjoy the new look. Hopefully nothing’s broken or missing. If you find anything, please, please be sure to keep it to yourself because I already spent the last few quatloos on a six of Mickey’s Big Mouths.
I don’t know why I did that. It’s impossible to open those damn things without spilling them.