08 Dec 09CARS Still Not Back

However, we are happy to announce that we have secured new funding! That’s right, a small group of angel investors has forestalled the inevitable slide into oblivion that one day faces all once-venerable Apple commmunity sites. At this point they’re basically paying for keeping the lights on – which means we won’t have to have all those ads all over the place like previously (we’re keeping one ad up for beer money and legal fees) – and they paid for the stylin’ redesign you’re looking at.

The last design was a little too tarted up. You know, like a $5 whore. Not that that was in any way inaccurate. But this is more of a return to our roots.

Who are these angel investors, you ask? Well, I don’t really know much about them. Actually, I don’t know anything about them.

Other than they’re brains in glass domes. Yes, literally. And they had enough money to keep the servers on and pay for a redesign.

Brains in glass domes

Welcome, new financiers!

That was good enough for me! Yes, sir. Most people would have said “Brains in glass domes? That sounds a little fishy. I mean, why the hell would brains in glass domes be funding an Apple rumor site?” And most people would have missed out on some funding, I’ll tell you what. In the fast-paced world of Internet publishing, you can’t look a gift brain in the cerebellum.

I think Guy Kawasaki said that.

Anyway, they assured me that “ALL WILL BE UNFOLDED IN DUE TIME”. And then they laughed.

Which I took as a positive sign. Anyone who likes to laugh is OK in my book.

Hey, they speak in complete sentences which is more than I can say for our last financier.

I didn’t ask where the money came from and they didn’t tell me. For all I know it could be from quatloos they’ve won betting on the outcome of sporting events involving girls in silver bikinis. It’s none of my business!

Although, if they have box seats to any such sporting events, I wouldn’t turn down an invitation some time.

I hope you enjoy the new look. Hopefully nothing’s broken or missing. If you find anything, please, please be sure to keep it to yourself because I already spent the last few quatloos on a six of Mickey’s Big Mouths.

I don’t know why I did that. It’s impossible to open those damn things without spilling them.

No Responses to “CARS Still Not Back”

  1. Streetrabbit says:

    Snake Plisken, I thought…

    You’re not Snake Plisken are you?

  2. nobody really says:

    Good to not see you. I’ll chip in some p. towels to mop up the Mickey’s.

  3. Nxxx says:

    Is it true that John is playing in pantomime this year?

  4. J0n says:

    @ Del, what kind of pie?

  5. Brother Mugga says:


    I’ve heard he’s doing Widow Twanky.

    Although that may just be a pet name for ‘Little John’.

  6. Nxxx says:

    Did you add an extra ‘T’ there?

  7. Brother Mugga says:

    I felt I should spare ‘Little John’s’ blushes.

  8. blank says:

    There was a new post? I’m really out of the loop again.

  9. iMoo says:

    Am I too late for the free puppy?

  10. Huh? says:

    Yes. Yes you are.
    However, being fashionably late is always in good taste.

    Well, almost always…..

  11. Nxxx says:

    Good taste?

  12. Huh? says:

    No one is supposed to know!

    …and why am I whispering?

  13. Ace Deuce says:

    You’re about to divulge classified information, so whispering is appropriate.

  14. Huh? says:

    You mean the news about how Moltz [redacted] a [redacted], all whilst [redacted] with a [redacted], is classified?

    Who knew?

  15. Nxxx says:

    Yes, even the term “redacted” is redacted.

  16. Huh? says:

    Wow… Strong stuff…

    Well, anyway- Merry [redacted] to all, and to all a [redacted] night!
    And my Pants™ would also like to wish everyone a safe and happy holiday, as well.

  17. Nxxx says:

    Great to hear your Pants are in good health. What presents did the pair of you exchange?

  18. Huh? says:

    Well, I washed my Pants™, but I got nothing in return. Not too surprising, actually….

  19. Nxxx says:

    Don’t send them a card or wash them next year, bloody ingrates.

  20. Huh? says:

    Yeah… Can’t live with ’em, can’t live without ’em.

  21. Daid Nunez says:

    Hey John,

    Sell your comic books to pay the bills if you have to, but keep the site going.


  22. Sue says:

    72 comments and still no new content. Sigh….

    Happy New Year one and all!

  23. John Moltz says:

    Keep on truckin’, Daid.

  24. Ben says:

    Those brains remind me of the gamesters of triskellion. I wonder what the quatloo/dollar exchange rate is . . .

  25. Daid Nunez says:

    DTI rules. You know it Youth.

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