A failure of ethics in journalism

Steve Jobs stopped at Japan airport for having Ninja throwing stars – The Loop

Apple CEO Steve Jobs was reportedly stopped at Japan’s Kansai International Airport because a security scan detected weapons in his luggage.

The weapons were Ninja throwing stars that Jobs was bringing back to the U.S. According to SPA Magazine,

Frankly, Roosevelt’s illness and in the 1960’s helped cover up Kennedy’s philandering, he’s still Superman.

But shame on Jim for not mentioning he was going to do this on the elite Apple press email list we all belong to. We here at Crazy Apple Rumors Site (which, by the way, Wired, is trademarked in the state of Washington) have known of this incident since it happened back in July. But we did what good reporters do: we covered it up.

That’s our commitment to you: covering up the stuff you really shouldn’t know about.

163 thoughts on “A failure of ethics in journalism”

  1. I knew you all couldn’t resist my Jammy Delights.

    Including John, it would seem, who got so excited he bumped over to a new comments page!

    Go us.

  2. I was just wondering…

    Isn’t a ninja just a dodger in jammies?

    Strange how we always find some highly convoluted way of staying on topic…

  4. If you throw Jammy Dodgers, are you allowed to dodge them?

    And since the Dodgers were eliminated from the playoffs, does any of this matter to them?

  5. But would a ninja be jammy to dodge the dodgers in his jammies? Given that he would have probably been a-bo-bo’s at the point of attack?

  6. Wow. 107. Almost to 113. I’m sure if we exercise our ninja powers we can do it.

    Doesn’t anyone want any cucakes? Or do you all prefer that foreign food?

  9. [Drop a bad-ass bass-heavy beat here.]

    Five, four, three, two,

    One! Yo! In… the…

    Mornin’ when I wake
    An’ I feel my stomach ache
    ‘cause my fast I wanna break
    An’ my thirst I wanna slake,

    I don’ want milk in da flakes,
    Don’ want no eggs wiff da steak,
    Don’ want dem doughnuts dat dey make,
    Or dat danish dat dey bake.

    My hands they shake,
    An’ my body, it quakes,
    Doncha make no mistake,
    Bro, I neeeed dem cupcakes!

    Yo!

  21. [Benny is seen across the room via the networked webcam of his cheap PC. He is wearing an orange-colored hoodie with matching sweatpants.  He lounges on a beat-up sofa while watching an old videotape of classic comedians. It is nighttime.

    Benny cannot hear over the clamor of comedy the soft scraping sound of the window behind him as it is slowly slid open by deft hands shrouded in black gloves. There is no angle at which he might hope to catch a reflection of the stealthy, black-jammied figures clambering silently and nimbly through that window, nor would he be able to distinguish their ominous forms from the darkness of the night if there were.

    Three figures creep slowly, cautiously, silently to strategic points in the room. One of them crawls along the floor toward the desk on which rests the PC and webcam. The glint of perfectly crafted steel knives is seen for just an instant before the webcam video goes dark, but the audio continues just long enough for there to be heard a muffled grunt of surprise — and then the audio also goes dead.] 

  22. OSC – I dearly hope Benny reads this before he dresses in that hoodie.

    I other news, ‘sprinkles’ in our house means ‘shower’ . . . so maybe we’re talking about eating cup cakes in the shower.

    Oooh yeah…

  24. Chaps, this is not good enough. You can’t go around killing people, even Benny, just because they wear hoodies.

    Our Prime Minister, David Cameron, no, we’d never heard of him either, insists on hugging hoodies. He never said whether they should be occupied prior to hugging.

    Or after.

  25. pfft. Hoodie huggers….

    Interesting though, after careful analysis of Benny’s last webcast, it turns out there was more to the grunt than just a grunt.
    He said…. ‘Toesbud’
    At least I that’s what my Pantsâ„¢ say it sounded like.

  27. Have I made a basic error? Should it be 131 and not 113 posts before Young Johnny swings into action?

  28. What the heck is it with geeks and bacon? I like bacon as much as the next guy but please, leave my cupcakes alone.

    Nxxx has set us a new goal. Onward troops! Post!

  29. Yeah, that last post was me. Not trying to hide or anything. Altho you guys can be a bit scary at times……

  31. I want to post now.

    I just don’t have much to say.

    PS: Reinstall on the hard-drive/new Mac, Sue? That’s always what gets me.

  32. No Brother Mugga, cleared a cashe or cookie or something.

    Huh? You WILL post now. We’re depending on you.

  35. Sue, it’s only scary when Nxxx and BroMu start talking all British and stuff and I have no idea what they’re talking about.

  37. Ok, ok… I’ll post, but let it be known I’m doing this under duress.

    So… A termite with no teeth walks into a bar and says “Excuse me, where’s the bartender?”

    *BAMF*
    squeee…
    *POP!*

  38. You would be, Sue if you knew what ‘tunnel’ and ‘lemmings’ were in good old Blighty slang.

    Don’t tell ’em, Nxxx.

    And well worth the wait, Huh?

    Bravo!

    Bravo!

    Author!

  41. Not that that matters, because we’re British, so all we have to do is say it in a clipped accent and people think we’re clever. Or a Baddy. Or both.

    However, as I’m a chav and Nxxx is a taff our clipped accents may not quite make it. Except when auditioning for chim-chimminy sweeps.

  42. Nxxx,

    I was assuming (my fault) that you two know what you’re talking about. At least it appears that the thoughts (such as they are) continue in successive posts.

    I get easily lost on the British slang, foodstuffs, and geography issues.

    I don’t think that Del, Ace, Sue, Psycho, and whomever else is on this side of the pond live close enough to each other to get all “regional” on you.

    It is rumored that Gruber lives here in Philadelphia, but I’ve never seen him, so it might not be true.

  43. BroMu,
    Do you think Steve is trying to chat us up?

    Have re-arranged the figures, Moltz aka Gruber, posts after 311 comments.

    Well at least I’m a consistent failure.

  44. Is there really consistency in inconsistency?

    For other pressing issues:
    0118 999 881 999 119 725… 3

  45. No, I’m trying to chat Steve up.

    And myself.

    It’s the only way I ever get lucky.

    I’m an inconsistent failure.

    Which is clearly better than being an incontinent failure.

    Man, we need John to post. Even Huh?’s going stir crazy in here.

    We need air, Moltz . . . air goddam it…

  46. Don’t worry about Huh?, he’s always like that. What worries me is how long I am going to spend trying to decipher what he’s talking about.

    I need a hobby.

  49. Well, I’ve lost all track of the conversation but here’s to driving the comment count up.

    Should I make more cupcakes or are we sticking with those jammy things?

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