Wozniak Opens Mouth Again

Apple co-founder Steve Wozniak has opened his mouth again today setting off the latest barrage of analysis over what it could possibly mean. Long-time Apple followers will remember that Wozniak frequently opines about the company, usually causing people to confuse his opinions and misperceptions with fact or the company’s official position.

Adding to the complexity this time, however, Wozniak appears to have spoken in tongues, issuing a series of seemingly nonsensical statements to reporters.

“Abbu blabba!” Wozniak said. “Hepta blinga ooza. Mabba. Mabba. HEYOOOOO! Ack tak tooey. Hooma tetty. Eska tappa badoor mak moodo. FAK ZAAAA!”

“I’m sure it means something,” said TUAW‘s Mike Rose. “Possibly about new MacBook Pros? The timing would be right. Or the iPad 2. Does any of that sound like ‘front-facing camera’ to you? Crap, I have no idea how to write this up.”

Other Apple followers suprisingly expressed certainty over the meaning of Wozniak’s utterances.

“He’s obviously talking about the Xserve,” said AppleInsider‘s Kasper Jade. “While Apple itself has canceled the device, it’s contracted out the continued development of the Xserve to a Chinese firm.

“It’s so obvious and Woz is perfectly positioned to know about that kind of thing. You don’t get to ride a Segway without being in the know.”

Later in the day, Wozniak held another press conference in an apparent attempt to clarify some of his comments after becoming concerned that he was being misinterpreted.

“Mondo wacka,” Wozniak explained. “Zin zooey isska badoom. HENDO RICKTAN! Eeen gakko tazookie. Hoooooooooora! Hoooooooooora!”

Reporters struggled to make sense of this further statement but dutifully reported it. The inexplicable repetition of Wozniak’s pronouncements is in its 30th year and shows no signs of abatement.

27 thoughts on “Wozniak Opens Mouth Again”

  1. Wasn’t that «white» ? And «camera», in the same sentence ?
    Man, that guy has two watches…And what a dancer !

  2. 10 . . . ’cause the trackback don’t count.

    It’s pretty clear Woz is trying to get extra foam on his soy latte.

  3. I’ve been telling people “mondo wacka” for months and nobody took me seriously, but now the Woz says it and it’s suddenly gospel. Well I’m here to tell you “I told you so.” And I did it long before the Woz.

  4. I hear ya, Ace…
    Hendo ricktan… hendo ricktan.
    They just don’t write em like that anymore…
    Oh, my Pants™ are duly impressed…

  5. The whole UK is impressed too, although with the Moltzster upping his Posting Rate, would he make a good Apple CEO?

  6. One wonders if ‘FAK ZAAAA!’ Wookiak for ‘post this or suffer my Wrath, Moltzmeister muddyfunster!’.

    See, the Wookiak has power over the Moltz-Gruber-Balmer Cthulhu Being.

    Praise Be the Wookiak.

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