Category: Apple Executives

Jobs To Fight Rose After WWDC.

According to numerous paper notes being passed in sessions at Apple’s Worldwide Developers Conference, CEO Steve Jobs will fight Konfabulator co-creator Arlo Rose near the swings outside the Moscone Center after the conference concludes.

Jobs and Rose’s disagreement is the result of what many feel is the appropriation of Konfabulator’s functionality in Tiger’s Dashboard.

Rose is also rumored to believe that Jobs smells and he looks funny and he dresses like a dork and is a stupid four-eyes. Jobs, on the other hand, thinks Rose is a loser and the only reason he is whining is that he is a loser who doesn’t know how not to be a loser because he’s such a loser.

Sources at the conference were sketchy on what style of fight it would be, what rules would apply, who would be allowed to throw the first punch or how a winner would be determined.

But already chants of “Fight! Fight! Fight!” could be heard on the exhibition floor and clustered groups of developers, journalists, Apple employees and Mac enthusiasts were talking of little else.

“Oh, man, this is gonna be the best!” said the New York Times’ David Pogue. “Arlo is so gonna kick Steve’s ass!”

Safari developer David Hyatt disagreed, saying “Nuh-uh. No he isn’t. Nuh-uh.”

Jobs has already received unsolicited advice from several Apple executives including Chief Software Technology Officer Avie Tevanian who suggested “going for the nuts.” Jobs, however, claims to be able to beat Rose without resorting to “fighting like a girl. Which is what Arlo is. A girl.”

Rose responded that he is rubber and Jobs is glue, and that insults said by Jobs will bounce off of him, ironically sticking to Jobs instead.

Other notes currently being passed at the conference indicate that attendees think that iPod Marketing Manager Danika Cleary is cute and they wonder if Cleary thinks that they are cute, too.

Sources close to Cleary say, however, that Cleary does not think that attendees are cute and that she can do so much better than them.