Concerned sources close to Konfabulator creator Arlo Rose indicate that the Mac developer is working on a Doomsday widget that will utterly destroy the Macintosh desktop.
In a fit of pique over the announcement that Apple will include functionality similar to Konfabulator in the upcoming update to OS X code-named Tiger, Rose is adopting a scorched-earth strategy.
“If I can’t have the Mac desktop, then no one can!” Rose said, with a wild look in his eye.
(The left one, if you must know.)
(The right one, interestingly, not so much.)
Konfabulator’s co-creator, Perry Clarke issued a shriek.
“You’re mad! Maaaaaaad, I say!”
“Well, yeah, I’m mad!” Rose replied. “They stole our idea!”
“No, I mean mad as in insane.”
“Ohhhh. Yeah. I’m also that.”
Rose’s Doomsday widget will reportedly completely annihilate the Macintosh desktop wherever it is found. The only piece of the puzzle he needs to put his frightening gambit into motion is the Trojan widget that will play host to his Doomsday widget.
“It needs to be something that every Mac user will want…” Rose mused. “Something they absolutely have to download. Hmm. What… should… it… be…
“Countdown to Tiger’s release? Streaming the traffic cameras on de Anza Boulevard?
“Hmm. Schiller Cam. Aaaaaahhh…”
Sources within One Infinite Loop assure Mac users there is little to fear from Rose’s Doomsday widget. According to members of Apple’s Tactical Response Unit, the company’s top agent is already on his way to Rose’s secret lair within El Capitan, backed up by a team of lesbian ninjas.
“Standard response, really,” the source said. “Lesbian ninjas. They’re very good.”