Tiger Coming In April.

Crazy Apple Rumors Site has confirmed Think Secret’s Friday report that the next release of Mac OS X, code-named Tiger, will be released some time in April.

In addition, however, CARS has also confirmed this report from earlier last week on O’Grady’s Power Page that the company is also set to reveal a stripped-down “lite” version of OS X. Code-named Ocelot, the new OS will debut in May and will be specially designed to run on smaller hardware which, for some reason, apparently can’t run regular OS X.

Except for the Mac mini.


Well, anyway, Ocelot will also ship with “lite” versions of all the iLife applications that are expected to be perfect for those who don’t have much of a life and for whom iLife was overkill.

But that’s not all.

Through our most reliable sources, we have confirmed this report from Planet Newton from February of 1998 that Apple is poised to unleash a new Mac OS-based PDA platform in June.

Code-named Cougar, the operating system will sacrifice none of the features of OS X but at the same time will be eminently portable. Apparently a lot of people were complaining that OS X was very heavy which may be due to the little-know fact that it relies on more ones than zeros by a margin of nearly three to one. It’s thought that Cougar simply reverses the ones and zeros and then runs them through an inverter before they are presented to the processor.

Actually, I just made that up, but I bet that’s the way it’ll work.

But all these flavors of OS X are merely dry cake compared to the delicious icing that is coming in July.

In a feverish dream induced by taking long-expired prescription medications washed down with a mixture of Ouzo and Paul Newman’s salad dressing, the ghost of Don Crabb appeared to this CARS reporter and confirmed this report from August of 1996 that Copland is set to ship. Now code-named Sabertooth, the operating system will not actually run on any available hardware, but will be sold purely for kitsch appeal.

CARS was able to rule out the appearance of Star Trek, a version of the Mac OS for Intel, any time in the near future.

Although it has reportedly been given the new code name of Tabby Cat, for no particular reason other than to round out the set.