Apple Patent Details Come To Light.

The Mac web community was abuzz today over news that the company has filed for a patent for securely running OS X on specific hardware. Many suspect this the method Apple will employ to keep hackers from running OS X on non-Apple hardware.

Crazy Apple Rumors Site has obtained startling internal documents from Apple that described the company’s plan for implementing this new technology.

According to schematics, Apple will use Intel’s chipsets to determine if OS X is booting on non-Apple hardware and then, based on some rather strict terms that have been added to the OS X end-user license agreement in recent months, will have the user in violation executed.

Here’s how it works:

According to Crazy Apple Rumors Site’s legal counsel, the altered clause of the end-user license agreement reads as follows, with the italicized portion having been added:

“License may be terminated at any time. User may also be terminated at any time.

Mac users are advised to consider carefully their next purchase of a boxed copy of OS X.

39 thoughts on “Apple Patent Details Come To Light.”

  1. HELL YEA! actually got 2nd. i got first on the first CARS post on the new version back last year but i have not goten in the top 10 in over a year!

  2. Ten. If this is what Apple EULAs say, what can Microsoft do to you? pwn your soul? No, wait, they already did…

  3. OK, we’re past the 11th. So. Are they lesbian ninjas? Are they lesbian ninja sexbots?? I must know!!

  4. Patently false stories are completely legal in the United States. Richard M. Nixon held a patent on all forms of patently false statements, attestations and utterances, but that patent has expired.

    Just wanted to clear that up.

  5. Apple’s already hiring for the ninja positions, but there aren’t enough qualified applicants in the world.

    They will have to build android ninjas, or else hire unqualified lame-brain applicants, which could only lead to botched terminations.

    And more lawsuits.

  6. OMG OMG OMG Like, I got post #26-ish! *jumps around like a little girl*

    GUYS! It’s getting old already!

  7. Sudo Nym,

    Tricky Dicky was only following the traditions of worldwide politics, as the present bunch are, and so should not be dissed.

    Could we persuade Steve to establish a “Slaughter a Politician when they Lie’ squad of ninja avengers?

  8. The possibilities are fascinating. We could slip OS X on to Bill Gates’ computer and let him boot that. We could swap an OS X loaded Dell laptop for Osama Bin Laden’s current one and watch Apple accomplish what the US military has not been able to.

    Apple branches in to a while new line of work: revenge!

  9. The problem with your “Slaughter a Politician when they Lie” Ninja’s is that we’d have none left.

    And, of course since Steve’s a Democrat, he’d be killing off his party.

    Also, it’s rather hard to maintain business when anarchy rules the world and currency is no longer valid since it’s government no longer exists.

  10. That would explain why Apple Shipped those new pagers to my kittens. I guess they are going to have to be pulled off the “Cai Project.”

  11. Heck, most of the people I’ve ever met who claimed to be Ninjas were actually posers.


  12. All of this posturing answers nothing. In my opinion, we’re all putting the cart ahead of the horses.

    Assuming Jobs WAS able to summon a band of Ninjas to become his personal ‘Goon Squad’, I would be of no use, as there is no anthem for a battle cry. The first problem to address is the fact that there still aren’t any ‘Truimph’ videos available on iTunes, and THAT is the real crisis.

    How could he tap into the Ninja’s powers to exterminate ‘posers’ with no battle cry? You can’t send an army into battle without an anthem? And THAT’S where ‘Triumph’ comes in! Yeah…that’s my advice.

  13. Nxxx,

    I’m not saying there wasn’t prior art. But Nixon’s the One who applied for the patent, and the Patent Office foolishly granted it.

    I used to know the patent number, because I thought it was so outrageous that a politician had a patent on patently false statements. I’m old now and I’ve forgotten the number, but you can look it up. (Until the patent expired, it was illegal for me to say that.)

  14. Apple, your idea just backfired. I’ve just now hacked OSX into an old Commodore 64 just because I’m lonely enough to WANT your band of lesbian ninja sexbots to come into my home with extreme prejudice.

    Don’t ask what I plan to do when they get here, it’s not nice (but it is quite perverted!)

    Oh, and don’t disappoint me by sending ninja’s that aren’t both lesbian and sexbots. I’m not taking the time to look them over that closely beforehand, so if you send someone else they might get an unpleasant surprise (unless they like that sort of thing, then I guess it’s me that will get an unpleasant surprise).

  15. I see a little red stain (blood?) near the perpetrator’s left hand. Was he bleeding even before the Ninja attack?

    Seems like a doctored image to me!

  16. Damn those ninjas are fast! That poor guy didn’t even get to see OS X finish starting up, before he was finished!

  17. Why dont they just put a hit out on Mr. Soft? I mean… put up their legions of Ninja’s against Microsoft’s Death-Troopers… that would be interesting

  18. John, this schematic was one of the funniest things I’ve seen this month. Ninjas, like monkeys, are innately funny and the stock photo of the geek is golden too. And I can especially appreciate the effort that has gone into ‘shopping the final image to complete the wall, picture and cabinet. Half-assed, but good enough for its purpose and all together very fitting. Very.. Zen.

    There has not been a single time that I have watched the schematic and not laughed. I also stole the ninja image and made it my IM avatar. Thanks man, have a great week.

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