OMFG, I am so excited! I am so getting myself an Intel-based iBook and a black shuffle and a copy of iWeb and an Apple plasma TV and a home entertainment Mac mini… and… and… and…

OMFG, I am so excited!!!

All rumor signs – including the Magic 8 Ball, the Ouija Board and the mysterious Oracle of the Seventh Seal which will only respond to sacrifices of human blood (we’ve been saving ours up all year!) – point to BIG ANNOUNCEMENTS tomorrow. We’re talking Steve Jobs ripping his mask off and revealing himself to be Tentaculous and killing a bunch of people kind of big.



Rhymes with “spectaculous.”

Giant octopus creature at the center of the galaxy bent on the destruction of Apple and, oh, by the way, Earth?

Don’t you people read the papers?

Well, anyway, that was just an example. He could also release a pack of vicious hell-hounds that cuts a bloody swath through the Moscone center mowing down Mac developers in a senseless bloodlust while searching for the one true heir to the throne of Zanzibar.

That’s equally possible. Whatever the case, the rumor mill indicates a lot of people are gonna get eviscerated tomorrow in the Moscone center.

And, yet, I’m still as giddy as a school girl with a pair of new Mary Janes! Ha-ha! It’s crazy! We all could die tomorrow and I can’t wait!

Damn you to hell, Steve Jobs!

To adequately cover the running and the screaming and the “OH, DEAR GOD, THE HORRIBLE MONKEY BEASTS ARE RIPPING THE FLESH FROM MY BONES!”, Crazy Apple Rumors Site will be LIVE BLOGGING Steve Jobs’ keynote tomorrow morning! That’s right! And judging by the rash of database connection problems we’ve had since Masako had to switch all the pages over to PHP , it’s quite possible our little house of cards could come crashing to the ground, prompting a Jack Miller-sized hiatus to switch to a new server and better technology.

Yes, think of it…

This could be the Macworld that took down Crazy Apple Rumors!

Well, yeah, OK, that’s not saying much since we got rolled by some Girl Scouts once…

But they were all hopped up on a Thin Mint-induced sugar high so that’s not really a fair benchmark.

Whatever tomorrow brings, we’ll be there, bitches. But if you hit refresh and all you see is a smoldering crater where this site used to be, don’t say we didn’t warn you.

Oh, and if you’re going to be in the Moscone Center tomorrow morning, be prepared to run like hell when the fangs and tentacles start to fly.