27 Apr 04iSight Helps Long-Distance Relationships.


Apple’s iSight is a boon for Mac users wishing to stay in touch with friends, conduct business or collaborate online via interactive video. Recently, it’s even found a role in helping couples manage long-distance relationships.

Sandra Murdock, a 27-year-old advertising account representative claims the iSight has helped her and her boyfriend of eight months, Andy Geller, maintain their relationship while Murdock lives in San Francisco and Geller in Boston.

“The iSight is a great way to keep in touch,” Murdock said. “We can even get a little… romantic… if you know what I mean!

“The best thing is, if I make sure to angle it right, Andy can’t even see my new boyfriend, Enriqué,” Murdock went on to point out, demonstrating the appropriate camera angle on the iSight on top of her 15-inch iMac.

“Or Maurice. Or the starting defensive lineup for the 49ers. Or the guy in the leather mask with the rubber ball strapped into his mouth.

“Hmm…” she mused. “What’s… that… guy’s… name…?”

The guy in the leather mask with the rubber ball strapped into his mouth let out a muffled but cheerful “Mfffrrwww!” and waved a shackled hand from across the room.

32-year-old programmer and Seattle resident Gordon Wen also lauded the iSight for helping his long-distance relationship with his girlfriend in Atlanta.

“We talk, laugh… it’s just good to be able to see her, you know?” Wen said. “And, frankly, iChat sex with Terry is better than regular sex.

“Now, finally, she has to do some of the work. I don’t know why I always had to do the heavy lifting.”

Murdock and Wen aren’t the only people benefitting from the iSight’s ability to make a long-distance connection.

“Long-distance relationships?” asked 45-year-old system administrator Bill Watson. “Oh, yes. I couldn’t live without my iSight. It’s really helped my personal life! It’s important to have that face time, to really make a connection.

“Um… does it count if I’m paying them?”

Crazy Apple Rumors Site was unable to confirm that Apple would be launching a companion series to its online Apple Masters series to highlight these and other iSight innovators, entitled Apple Masturbators.

No Responses to “iSight Helps Long-Distance Relationships.”

  1. John Jacob Jingleheimer Smith says:

    First Post!

  2. Hey – Where rumors are concerned and Apple is concerned – you snooze you lose. Put the two together and …

    … well, let’s just say first posters are few and far between, if you know what I mean.

  3. Shareholder says:

    John Jacob Jingleheimer Smith?

    What a coincidence! Your name is my name too!

  4. greenacres says:

    I was laughing right along until I hit the ‘Apple Masturbators’ joke name. It just didn’t come to me as a name that leaps out of the page at you…it was somewhat anticlimactic…

  5. bleve_girl says:

    iTouch, or how about iFeel?

  6. how bout iWanttotouchyou? no, no takers. k well the offers on the table.

  7. MacStansbury says:

    how about:

    http://www.ichatnaked.com/

    and that one’s for real!

  8. Dwartz Farquhartz says:

    So today we see that side of John not seen very often. Unless Chet wrote it, in which case it’s pretty much par for the course. Ugluk or the Entity, well, not too surprising, but a little verbose for Ugluk. If Masako wrote it, now I _really_ want to see her naked. I’ll even put the ball back in my mouth & strap on the mask.

    I don’t think I’m ready to consider that it might have been written by Howard.

    Strange, but hilarious.

  9. Jawyn says:

    Greatness.

  10. MacQuest says:

    I thought they were going to make a comment like “There is currently an Apple beta testing program in progress for iChat relationships. Anybody interested in participating should send their request to AppleMasterBeta@apple.com“.

    Or something…

  11. Whenever I go out, the people always shout ________ [fill in the blank].

  12. ZethoMarx says:

    I’ll fill in the blank with “Get the f**k out of the street, ya stupid bastard!!”

  13. fuddes says:

    The comments section is especially zany today. I like it. It makes me feel comfortable, and gives me a chance to reveal things about myself I normally never would have told anyone.

    I had sex with Wilson Phillips.

  14. I am John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt XV, and I come from a long line of Jingleheimer Schmidts dating back to the 16th Century. Alone my family holds the honor of everyone’s name being our name too.

    Whenever I go out (and this has been the case in my family for centuries), the people always shout “John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt! Ya da da dada dada!”

    I know this JJ Smith fellow and he is an imposter as authentic as a Fauxlex versus a Rolex.

    Do not shout at this, this, this, knock off. Instead, I offer my services as my legacy.

    Dutifully Yours,

    JJJ Schmidt XV,

    Ya da da dada dada

  15. David says:

    It’s David, damnit. I have a name, OK!? Geeze.

    -Daivd,

    “guy in the leather mask with the rubber ball strapped into his mouth”

  16. Brother Mugga says:

    But surely the *real* question is: if we use the new ‘service’, will we end up smelling of hammers?

    Feel free to ask a British mate about this.

    As long as they’re pretty sick.

    I’m guessing that won’t be a problem, judging by most of the posts on this site.

    Just remember to take the ball out of your mouth *before* you ask.

    Those things can smart.

    Brother Mugga

    PS: MasterBeta? Marvellous.

  17. MacStansbury says:

    I’m not sure if it’s the need for sleep but I was reading the comments and I wonderred how come is it that Howard never writes any stories or nothing cause I would like to know what a dog would have to say about the camera inside the iSight cause it is actually made by Sony I think and gets hot, and hotter than you would think that a webcam should get, but I digress in that I think that more stories with sentient dogs with marketable photography skills tend to make for good reading when you don’t get enough sleep.

    and how can you sleep with Wilson Phillips? there’s that word again. sleep. sleep.

    sleeepy-sleepy sleep sleep sleep.

    I mean, she’s like, three people. two Wilsons and one Phillips. or maybe the other way around. and one of ’em’s kinda, you know…bigger. and in Playboy. was in Playboy. man, I need sleep.

    sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep. I’m getting really good at typing sleep. you start with the s, and, well, I’m not going to give it all away, I’m just going to fall asleep here in front of my desk.

    hah! bet chu guys had a delete thingee now, huh?!?

  18. Ozi says:

    http://www.ichatnaked.com/

    LMAO that is such a funny site… i love the little graphics for sexual orientation. 😀

  19. Dwartz Farquhartz says:

    sex with Wilson Phillips…did involve a dead chicken?

    http://www.dailynugget.com/000305.php

  20. Spiro T. Agnew says:

    Those who are familiar with American history will recall that Wilson Phillips was the 18th president.

  21. MICHAEL EISNER says:

    iwank

  22. Toto says:

    I mean seriously, what other use of iChat one can think of?

  23. s3kr!t says:

    Internal joke name for iSight: iLoveyoulongtime. I Am Not Making This Up.

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