Mac user Bryan Berryman’s new 17-inch PowerBook granted him a golden opportunity to make inroads with an attractive woman at a local coffee shop yesterday. His personality, however, quickly sabotaged any chance of taking advantage of that opportunity.
Valerie Meyers, intrigued by the screen on Berryman’s PowerBook, approached Berryman and asked “Is that a 17-inch PowerBook?”
“I saw her coming up to me,” Berryman said. “And when she asked about my PowerBook, that’s when I laid on the charm.”
In response to Meyers question, Berryman leaned his head back and laughed uproariously.
“Ah-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha! Ahhhh… Why… yes. Would you like to… touch it?”
“Uh…” Meyers said, suddenly realizing her mistake. “Sure.”
Turning the PowerBook around to face her, Berryman then sidled up uncomfortably close to Meyers.
“Yes. Put your hands… here,” dramatically laying his hands on the PowerBook to either side of the track pad.
As Meyers touched the PowerBook, Berryman looked deeply into Meyers’ eyes. “Warm hands. Touching hands. Loving hands.”
“Uhhh… huh,” a confused Meyers replied.
“I don’t know what Bryan’s problem is,” Berryman’s friend Mike Pieper said from nearby. “He’s a normal dude and then when a good looking woman shows up, it’s like he’s… he’s… Well, frankly, I’m not sure what he’s really going for there. Pathetic? Psycho? I dunno.”
Berryman laughed uproariously again for no discernable reason.
“Seriously,” Pieper added. “He’s a normal guy most of the time.”
“Women want to be treated like gentle little birds,” Berryman explained while Meyers tried out the PowerBook. “Little birds that are flush with the excitement of spring!”
Suddenly reaching out and stroking Meyers’ hair, Berryman added “Cheep-cheep! Cheep-cheep!”
Meyers thanked Berryman and quickly extracted herself from the increasingly uncomfortable situation.
“Phew,” she said. “Wow. OK. That was… really weird.”
Sitting back down with Pieper, Berryman said “Oh, yeah. She liked me. She’s going to come back over here in a minute. Watch. Um. OK. She’s leaving. But I’m sure she liked me.