PowerBook Gets Foot In Door. Personality Promptly Shuts It.


Mac user Bryan Berryman’s new 17-inch PowerBook granted him a golden opportunity to make inroads with an attractive woman at a local coffee shop yesterday. His personality, however, quickly sabotaged any chance of taking advantage of that opportunity.

Valerie Meyers, intrigued by the screen on Berryman’s PowerBook, approached Berryman and asked “Is that a 17-inch PowerBook?”

“I saw her coming up to me,” Berryman said. “And when she asked about my PowerBook, that’s when I laid on the charm.”

In response to Meyers question, Berryman leaned his head back and laughed uproariously.

“Ah-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha! Ahhhh… Why… yes. Would you like to… touch it?

“Uh…” Meyers said, suddenly realizing her mistake. “Sure.”

Turning the PowerBook around to face her, Berryman then sidled up uncomfortably close to Meyers.

“Yes. Put your hands… here,” dramatically laying his hands on the PowerBook to either side of the track pad.

As Meyers touched the PowerBook, Berryman looked deeply into Meyers’ eyes. “Warm hands. Touching hands. Loving hands.”

“Uhhh… huh,” a confused Meyers replied.

“I don’t know what Bryan’s problem is,” Berryman’s friend Mike Pieper said from nearby. “He’s a normal dude and then when a good looking woman shows up, it’s like he’s… he’s… Well, frankly, I’m not sure what he’s really going for there. Pathetic? Psycho? I dunno.”

Berryman laughed uproariously again for no discernable reason.

“Seriously,” Pieper added. “He’s a normal guy most of the time.”

“Women want to be treated like gentle little birds,” Berryman explained while Meyers tried out the PowerBook. “Little birds that are flush with the excitement of spring!”

Suddenly reaching out and stroking Meyers’ hair, Berryman added “Cheep-cheep! Cheep-cheep!”

Meyers thanked Berryman and quickly extracted herself from the increasingly uncomfortable situation.

“Phew,” she said. “Wow. OK. That was… really weird.”

Sitting back down with Pieper, Berryman said “Oh, yeah. She liked me. She’s going to come back over here in a minute. Watch. Um. OK. She’s leaving. But I’m sure she liked me.

“What?”

83 thoughts on “PowerBook Gets Foot In Door. Personality Promptly Shuts It.”

  1. Oh, man! I saw the whole thing!

    How come you left out the two dogs? There must be a reason, so, I probably shouldn’t go into it here. But it’d better be a dang good reason… I nearly lost a kidney (which was also, not surprisingly, left out).

    Ah, well.

  2. Are you saying they left out your kidney? I mean, technically you wouldn’t have lost the kidney if they let you keep it after it’s untimely removal, but that’s just an unusual thing to want other people to know. What the hell, man.

    However, if that’s the case, could I… uh, borrow it? One of my kidneys has already had it’s fill of “youthful magic moments.” And if you’re not gonna finish yours…

  3. I don’t know what that guy’s problem is, I always get laid when I stroke stranger’s hair and go ‘cheep-cheep’…. He must not be doing it right.

    Blah

  4. Nice!

    I dont anways comment like I used too, but i still come here, read the hilarious posts, and look bemused because I dont have a sense of humor. However, if I did, I would laugh uproariously just like Berryman.

    ~ozi

  5. Anyone else sense latent homosexuality in this interaction? He acts like a regular guy around his buddies until a woman shows up and then he tries too hard to prove he’s straight. Just come out already!

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