14 Dec 04Apple Linked To Comment Spam Attack.


A flurry of comment spam attacks on weblogs across the Internet over the past several weeks has experts, based on its content, pointing the finger at Apple.

Research conducted by Crazy Apple Rumor Site Labs (a division of Giant Squid Productions, all rights reserved, available for parties, bar mitzvahs and wakes) indicates that Apple is intent on driving traffic to its web site through any means necessary. The practice of dumping spam comments on unsuspecting weblogs in an attempt to improve one’s standing in search engines is highly repudiated. Indeed, Apple has declined to take responsibility for the comment attack, but the content indicates otherwise, as the following examples show.

  • Great post! Those who would like to see pictures of Phil Schiller playing hockey should go to www.apple.com! It’s hot – or cold, rather (HA-HA!) – Schiller action! And buy a G5 with an AppleCare plan while you’re there!
  • Do you like to play Texas hold ’em? Well, then, you should try playing it on a Mac. Texas hold ’em is much more enjoyable on a Macintosh from Apple Computer (www.apple.com). Or so I’m told. Actually, I don’t really know what Texas hold ’em is. But Macs
  • Click here (www.apple.com) for hot mamas who like wild action with… er… well, really, there are no hot mamas. But you might be interested in buying a Mac. Or an iPod. And, if you like to think about hot mamas while you do it, that’s up to you. We won’t judge you.
  • In your free time, please visit www.apple.com. Please? C’mon. Just… just click once. You know you want to. C’mon. Please? Just… click. Right there. Go on. Moooove your cursor…
  • Do you like hot bitches who are so dirty that they will do anything? Bitches who are horny all day and all night and can never get enough hot, hot action? Well, good for you. Now, please go to www.apple.com.
  • Look, I hate to be a pest about this, but if you’d just click the damn link then we could all get on with our lives and forget this ever happened…

This unpleasant marketing tactic has put Mac-friendly bloggers in an uncomfortable position – caught between a company and product they love and a practice they deplore.

“Right now I’m leaning toward deploring,” said blogger and Mac user Dori Smith.

Pausing for a moment she added “And now I’m enthusiastic about the Mac again.

“It’s been like this all afternoon.”

When reached, Apple refused to comment, other than issuing an additional 1.5 million spam comment entries across the Internet.

33 Responses to “Apple Linked To Comment Spam Attack.”

  1. Garnack says:

    First

  2. Garnack says:

    And I read the article first.

  3. Garnack says:

    I hope Apple doesn’t spam CARS with hot lesbian sexbot action ads.

    I’d hate that.

    Really.

  4. Dan says:

    Yeah, god forbid they let some links to free cupons loose.

  5. bear says:

    Where do I sign up? I want to be blogged…or spammed…or whatever. Just so long as they serve Yukon Jack!

  6. PSchiller says:

    If you like computers, and fruit, then you want to go to http://www.apple.com for the wildest computer fruit action. And we’re not talking oranges here, if you know what I mean. So click that link and get your fruit on!

  7. Psyko says:

    I just found out that the Comment counter at the bottom of the article is wrong. It is one less than it should be.

  8. bear says:

    Actually, a lot less….is that important?

  9. Streetrabbit says:

    Damn you PSchiller. You stole my obvious post idea.

    Oh well, congrats to Garnack for the trifecta. Way to go! Big plans tonight I’ll bet? I know I’d get totally ripped.

    You don’t have a postbot by any chance?

  10. some guy says:

    revolution number 9… and i got a spam comment in my blog saying something about sex-bots and visitng http://www.crazyapplerumors.com

    i wonder what that could be

  11. Dori Smith says:

    I was told to check out today’s post because it mentioned hot mamas, horny bitches, AND me!

    Oh.

    Actually, the bipolar bit is a fairly common occurrence. Yesterday it was about what to have for lunch. Today, Apple comment spam. Tomorrow, who knows?

  12. Adam Jackson says:

    i do that all of the time on sites for my site, http://mypersonalgetaway.com

    DOH!

  13. S Jobs says:

    Are you big enough for your girl? Couldn’t a couple more gigabytes make a big difference in your love life. Click here for the very best in male enhancement. Think Bigger. Think iPod Video.

  14. G Joswiak says:

     

    What Burglars Don’t Want You To Know…

    Apple Laptops can call home if stolen and the police pay more attention when an “expensive” Apple Macintosh is stolen than some cheap old PC. Buy a Powerbook 15″ and laugh at thieves.

  15. JAV says:

    I just got thousands of comment spams on my blog. Bummer. All for Texas Hold ‘Em Poker. No, I’m not going to list a URL here.

    JAV

  16. Psyko says:

    Hey, people. Do you think I am annoying? Do you wish me dead? If so click my name to see the cool program I made called “101 ways to kill me.” It is great fun and even if you don’t want to kill me, you can still check it out to appreciate all the hard work that went into it. So, go for it, give me the beating of a life time.

  17. Psyko says:

    “It’s a sad day when we now have to hate John Moltz. Ooh, it’s Mr. Big Shot Writer:

    Yep. I’m happy to announce that I’ve got a paying gig writing for Macworld magazine.

    Posted by Dori Smith at 05:45 PM”

    For some reason this hurts me deep down inside. How could you say such a thing?

    Don’t worry Mr. Moltz Sir, when I am rich and famous (mainly rich) I will pay you and each of your crew $1000 an article.

  18. Anonymous says:

    Those crazy 17.*.*.* addresses. Apple owns the whole block, you know.

    Watch your website for 17.* hits!

  19. UhhhDude says:

    Can’t post now. Too busy spamming bloggers.

  20. Armour Treet says:

    It’s always about Spam.

    All I ever hear is Spam this…..And Spam that.

    What about me?

    I’m a pork product as-well.

    It’s doesn’t always have to be about Spam.

    I mean I even tried going on a diet.

    But did you notice? Of course not! It was always Spam.

  21. Garnack says:

    No postbots here Streetrabbit. Just pure posting skill. And, yes, I did have big plans for last night but when I got first post I knew nothing could top that for the evening so I stayed home and went to bed.

    Do you like hot Apple pie? Then come on over to http://www.apple.com for all the hot Apple pie you can handle.

  22. Dude says:

    Bitches love me ‘cos the know that I can rock.

  23. greenacres says:

    Spam spam spam spam. Lovely spam! Wonderful spam! Spam spa-a-a-a-a-am spam spa-a-a-a-a-am spam. Lovely spam! Lovely spam! Lovely spam! Lovely spam! Lovely spam! Spam spam spam spam!

    -the Vikings

  24. greenacres says:

    The whole thing:

    Man: You sit here, dear.

    Wife: All right.

    Man: Morning!

    Waitress: Morning!

    Man: Well, what’ve you got?

    Waitress: Well, there’s egg and bacon; egg sausage and bacon; egg and spam; egg bacon and spam; egg bacon sausage and spam; spam bacon sausage and spam; spam egg spam spam bacon and spam; spam sausage spam spam bacon spam tomato and spam;

    Vikings: Spam spam spam spam…

    Waitress: …spam spam spam egg and spam; spam spam spam spam spam spam baked beans spam spam spam…

    Vikings: Spam! Lovely spam! Lovely spam!

    Waitress: …or Lobster Thermidor a Crevette with a mornay sauce served in a Provencale manner with shallots and aubergines garnished with truffle pate, brandy and with a fried egg on top and spam.

    Wife: Have you got anything without spam?

    Waitress: Well, there’s spam egg sausage and spam, that’s not got much spam in it.

    Wife: I don’t want ANY spam!

    Man: Why can’t she have egg bacon spam and sausage?

    Wife: THAT’S got spam in it!

    Man: Hasn’t got as much spam in it as spam egg sausage and spam, has it?

    Vikings: Spam spam spam spam… (Crescendo through next few lines…)

    Wife: Could you do the egg bacon spam and sausage without the spam then?

    Waitress: Urgghh!

    Wife: What do you mean ‘Urgghh’? I don’t like spam!

    Vikings: Lovely spam! Wonderful spam!

    Waitress: Shut up!

    Vikings: Lovely spam! Wonderful spam!

    Waitress: Shut up! (Vikings stop) Bloody Vikings! You can’t have egg bacon spam and sausage without the spam.

    Wife: I don’t like spam!

    Man: Sshh, dear, don’t cause a fuss. I’ll have your spam. I love it. I’m having spam spam spam spam spam spam spam beaked beans spam spam spam and spam!

    Vikings: Spam spam spam spam. Lovely spam! Wonderful spam!

    Waitress: Shut up!! Baked beans are off.

    Man: Well could I have her spam instead of the baked beans then?

    Waitress: You mean spam spam spam spam spam spam… (but it is too late and the Vikings drown her words)

    Vikings: Spam spam spam spam. Lovely spam! Wonderful spam! Spam spa-a-a-a-a-am spam spa-a-a-a-a-am spam. Lovely spam! Lovely spam! Lovely spam! Lovely spam! Lovely spam! Spam spam spam spam!

  25. blank says:

    Now do the “Crunchy Frog” sketch…from memory. If not that, then how about an argument?

    Oh, and I thought Masako had that comment spam thing fixed, at least for CARS. We should see some of the above posts disappear later today, right?

  26. Olgluk says:

    Get Viagra cheap, cialis and other, on our online retailstore, http://www.apple.com

    The viagra pill is now available in green, pink and yellow and of course still the great blue one.

  27. Arguer says:

    No, this is not the department of aruging.

    We do not spam.

  28. Poster Boy says:

    28th Post! I rule! Mine is higher than yours!

    Eat Spam. Be a babe magnet. (Babe as in talking pig.)

  29. GLAARKU says:

    YES!, I like hot bitches who are so dirty that they will do anything!!

    AND bitches who are horny all day and all night and can never get enough hot, hot action!!! TELL ME MORE YOU HOT PEICE OF SPAM, YOU!!!

    What!? Oh. Awww. 🙁 Apples Computers: you are teh s uck 🙁 🙁

  30. Invisible Evil Boy's Choir on Spam says:

    SPAM! AH! SPAM! AH! SPAM! AH! SPAM! AH!

    SPAM! AH! SPAM! AH! SPAM! AH! SPAM! AH!

    SPAM! AH! SPAM! AH! SPAM! AH! SPAM! AH!

    SPAM! AH! SPAM! AH! SPAM! AH! SPAM! AH!

    SPAM! AH! SPAM! AH! SPAM! AH! SPAM! AH!

    SPAM! AH! SPAM! AH! SPAM! AH! SPAM! AH!

  31. Del says:

    I spam therefore I am

  32. Dr. Seuss says:

    But will you eat green eggs and Spam.

  33. Anonymous says:

    It’s BACON! Bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon BACON!

    Oh, wait, no. It’s still spam.