09 Mar 05Guy Stuck On Infinite Loop.


Concerned Apple employees noted today that someone is stuck on Infinite Loop.

A white Ford Escort with Nevada plates has been driving around in a circle since early morning, a horrified driver at the wheel apparently unsure of how to exit.

Despite its awe-inspiring name, however, Infinite Loop is little more than a glorified roundabout.

“It’s not really infinite,” noted Apple engineer John Vink, who was part of a crowd of Apple employees that was quickly gathering to watch the spectacle. “It’s just a circle.”

Pausing to watch the white Escort pass by again, its driver paralyzed with a silent scream upon his lips, Vink pondering his words.

“On the other hand, if you don’t turn off of it, I guess it could be infinite. You could just go around and around and around and around…”

Vink shuddered.

“What a way to go.”

Several Apple employees tried running after the car, which is only moving at the posted 10-mile-per-hour speed limit, and encouraging the driver to turn right onto Mariani Avenue, but have given up after multiple attempts.

“He’s frozen,” said Ron Okamoto, Vice President of Worldwide Developer Relations. “I’ve seen this before. He’ll never get out. He’ll just keep going around… forever.

“Or until he runs out of gas, I guess. But still… it’s kind of spooky. Just the thought of a guy going around forever, entombed in a white Escort…

“That’s why I have a Beemer. If I’m going to spend eternity in my car, it’s going to have leather seats and allow me to change songs on my iPod from the steering wheel. That poor sap probably doesn’t even have cruise control.”

A Cupertino police car arrived on the scene and began following the Escort with its lights flashing.

“Ooh, here it comes!” said an unidentified member of the crowd, which inexplicably was all gathered at one small stretch of sidewalk.

“Ooooooooooooohhhhh!” they said in unison as the car approached.

As the Escort passed they added “Aaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhh!”

More on this alarming situation as it develops.

No Responses to “Guy Stuck On Infinite Loop.”

  1. Guy in an escort says:

    Ahhhhh! *only silent*

  2. Psyko says:

    Hey, I would be the young male that is actually quite smart, with a good sense of humor and would give anything to help his friends. (Maybe even people that are not his friends)

  3. Anna says:

    So you could give me something special to pass the time?

  4. gromit says:

    *passes Anna a Rubik’s Cube*

  5. Anna says:

    Solved. Anything harder?

  6. Not easily offended. says:

    Using the word “gay” to describe something of poor quality is cool. If you’re offended, tough shit. Deal. It’s only as offensive as you make it. English is a given language. Meanings change. Since when did homosexuals get to appropriate the word “gay” anyway? Wasn’t “homosexual” good enough for them?

    Moving along, In the sense that they are of poor quality, Ford Mustangs and F350s ARE gay.

    And moving further along, the article was funny.

  7. Psyko says:

    Anna, sorry about missing you. The Rubik’s Cube is probably what I would have given you anyway.

  8. Anna says:

    It would have been a lot more fun and engrossing from you.

  9. Resuna says:

    THe scariest thing about those roundabouts is that there’s actually a place called “Leighton Buzzard”. Can you imagine being from a place with a name like that? You’d be scarred for life!

  10. stand-in for the Spell Czech says:

    That’s “Bimmer” not “Beemer,” and Glaarku, it’s “lose,” not “loose.”

  11. Bellidancer says:

    My first car was a used ’64 Mustang.

    Yes, the construction quality was not stellar. That didn’t matter. ( American cars just were not built to Japanese or German standards. )

    Yes, its engineering was suspect. (* True Story* I had to carry a hammer in the car because the transmission would sometimes “stick” and I would have to crawl under the car and whack the linkage.) That didn’t matter.

    It was a MUSTANG! I still love that car.

    And think about it. Ford was the Apple Computer of the automobile industry. Number two to the GM colossus. Admittedly, without the fantastic design, charismatic leader, or impossibly insane and ineffective marketing.

  12. Psyko says:

    Apple is more like Subaru. Always make superb product, but not always noticed. Can’t ignore Subaru anymore, can’t ignore Apple anymore either.

  13. Ijit says:

    Anna, if you want some thing hard, although perhaps not all that interesting, you could always do my homework for me (I’m a Maths student)

    Oh and Psyko, yes equaling Shiv would be a walk in the park for me. I just thought I’d mention that so I could keep a threat dangling over your head … so be nice to me …

    (queue evil laugh)

    MWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

  14. Psyko says:

    What kind of threat? If it is brains, then find somebody else to bother. I got a 102% on my college Calculus final and have maintained strait A’s in all of the Electronic Engineering classes.

    If it is some other kind of threat, not sure what, then just realize that we are talking about Psyko here. You are not going to find anybody else that is out to be more insane.

    MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Eat dirt and die fiend.

    Oh, sorry, that was my evil side. I will put him away now.

  15. Ijit says:

    I get confused what do you americans mean when you say school and college?

    Why then did you try to scare shiv away?

  16. Psyko says:

    When I say school I mean college. When I said school when I was in high school though, I meant high school. Until my senior year when the word school was used in a different context. Then I would say things like I am going to school today to mean high school and I will be going to school at DeVry meaning college. Rest assured though, now when ever I say school and am talking about myself I mean college.

    As for Shiv. I didn’t try to scare him/her away. They left out of fear of what people would do to them if they returned after such an amazing showing of knowledge. I tried to bring Shiv back by writing my little thing about them. It can be found in the Mega Post. I posted it there because I figured the comment box it was originally in would get deleted.

    MARK

  17. Psyko says:

    MARK

  18. Anna says:

    I’m studying Pure Maths and an Art degree at the moment. Maths isn’t exactly hard Ijit.

    English on the other handÂ…

  19. GuH! says:

    shut up “fag”.

  20. Anonymous says:

    Agreed, English is much harder. Though not as hard as Foregn Languages.

    I just wanted someone to do my homework for me.

  21. ijit says:

    I distinctly remember you saying you posted it to keep shiv away; and then del suggested shiv might be female, and you said something along the lines of “if so come back shiv” …

  22. ijit says:

    oops the nameless poster two up is me.

  23. Psyko says:

    I don’t know that foreign is harder than native. It depends on the teacher partly. I had an evil English teacher that gave me an A- while I maintained almost 100% in Japanese.

    Anyway, about Shivs. If you read my work entitled “Shivs…” You will see that I was rooting for the return of them.

    Shivs…

    Where are you Shivs…

    I miss you Shivs…

    Please Shivs…

    Hello Shivs…

    I can’t live without you Shivs…

    Don’t leave because of the weak of mind Shivs…

    Stay because of the potential of genius here Shivs…

    Where have you gone Shivs…

    SHIVS…

    Don’t worry about Bellidancer Shivs…

    I need you Shivs…

    My life is meaningless without you Shivs…

    Poor intelligent Shivs…

    Teach me Shivs…

    No AP Calculus class, Shivs…

    Ever taught me so much Shivs…

    No Electrical Engineering class, Shivs…

    Ever taught me so much Shivs…

    I feel, Shivs…

    That I have, Shivs…

    Lost a brother Shivs…

    CARS welcomes all Shivs…

    First impressions mean nothing Shivs…

    Come back Shivs…

    And scare off the weak Shivs…

    And together, Shivs…

    We can rule CARS Shivs…

    Right under the real rulers that is Shivs…

    Come back, Shivs…

    Come back, Shivs…

    Come back, Shivs…

    My Shivsy, Shivs…

    To me, Shivs…

    To me, Shivs…

    Come back, Shivs…

    Come back, Shivs…

    Come back, Shivs…

    My Shivsy, Shivs…

    To me, Shivs…

    What must I do Shivs…

    To make you come back Shivs…

    Where is the Shivs…

    That we all know and love, Shivs…

    Or at least none of us know, Shivs…

    And maybe one person loves, Shivs…

    I mean truly loves, Shivs…

    You have laid claim, Shivs…

    To all winnings from now on Shivs…

    Now, Shivs…

    Come back, Shivs…

    To bask in the glory, Shivs…

    Of your prize(s) Shivs…

    Well Shivs…

    Al these pathetic lines, Shivs…

    Will never, Shivs…

    Do any good, Shivs…

    If you never come back to read them Shivs…

    So, telepathy attack to Shivs, now, Shivs…

    I am kind of sick of typing Shivs…

    If you never return Shivs…

    I won’t blame you Shivs…

    Because I probably scared you off Shivs…

    See, I wanted Shivs to come back.

    MARK

  24. Anna says:

    I like you Psyko. *hugs*

    English is my native language, but I just don’t like it. foreign languages are a lot more easy.

  25. Ijit says:

    yes but if you read the posts after it; you said you did it to worry him into not coming back.

  26. Psyko says:

    I like you too Anna. *hugs*

    Yes Ijit, I did say that. I said that to keep the people that didn’t leave from killing me. I was scared for my life.

    MARK

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