Live Keynote Coverage!



See, we were all set to provide live coverage of today’s Macworld Boston keynote but… this is really weird.

It’s now 10:00 PM PST and we’re still waiting for the feed of Steve Jobs’ Macworld Boston keynote to begin. I’m not sure what the problem is. I mean, this should have started, like, 16 hours ago.

Regardless, it doesn’t really matter as we already know what Steve Jobs was going to announce today:

Hot, fabulous sex with Jessica Alba.


No, wait. I’m sorry. That was… uh… that was something else.

I probably shouldn’t say any more.

No, what Steve Jobs was going to announce at the keynote he seems so determined not to give (where the hell is he?!) was this:

His shorts are filled with radioactive shrimp.

Ack! Dammit! That’s not it either. I mean, it’s true, but that’s not what he was supposed to announce.

He’s saving that for Paris.

OK, let’s try this again. And concentrate, people! Why do I have to do all the hard work?!

Steve Jobs… was going to announce…

… an 8 X 5 tablet device designed to play music, DVDs and run applications on a modestly powered pen input-based platform.

Whew! I got it out. Ha-ha!

Oh, and it comes with a little stand that you put in your living room and connect to your entertainment system. And it comes with the new Coldplay album and a copy of the Incredibles. And a bottle of fine anejo tequila.

But, well, I don’t know what the deal is. He was supposed to go on the stage at 9:00 AM EST and… like I said… it’s 10:00 PM PST and…


This is really kind of ridiculous. I mean, Steve should…



Macworld Boston

Ha-ha! ‘Cause…

They don’t… so much go to Boston any more.

Ohhh… crap.