18 Jul 05Nothing today


Our Internet connection is down and our ISP can’t make it out to fix it until tomorrow.

How are we posting this entry, you ask?

Sheer chutzpah.

You know what I’m talkin’ ’bout, baby.

Um… yeah, the people in the office next door have a different ISP and an open wireless network. But their site is “Crazy Gun Toting Loner Rumors” so we don’t want to push it.

Anyway, please fill the next 24 hours by asking yourselves the enigmatic question first posed by Laurie Anderson 25 years ago: “What… is behind that curtain?”

No Responses to “Nothing today”

  1. Jon white says:

    Hey baby! First!

  2. Jon white says:

    Never had first before, just lucky I guess. Now if I can only get 11th too… Gotta watch those gun-toting loners…

  3. not second says:

    post is to lame to even claim second

  4. Huh? says:

    Behind the curtain… hmmm….

    That would be my pants.

    moo.

  5. The lack of a rumor by Moltz is tempered by his early post admitting he had nothing – allowing me to get fourth (maybe fifth by the time I get done typing).

  6. "Crazy-Nosed Bill," owner of Crazy Gun Toting Loner Rumors says:

    Don’t ya darrre touch my WiFi Properrrty, ya yella-liverred sonofa pickeled sexbot!

  7. K.S. 3.0.9.9.9.1 says:

    yeah, I was going to guess that there would have been the rumor of what song was REALLY the 500,000,000 sold, you know, the one they didn’t want to publicize…

  8. iBode says:

    Quick, everyone speculate on (or make up) the “real” song.

    I say it was a speach by Ballmer or Gates.

  9. Jay says:

    Q: What…. is behind… that curtain?

    A: duuuuuuunDAAAAA…. Daaaanh. duuuuuuunDAAAAA…. Daaaanh. You were born, and so you’re free, so happy birthday.

    This is the third time Laurie Anderson has come up today, each time independant of the other. What are the odds? More importantly, what are the implications?

  10. Bellidancer says:

    Hey, I tried googling Crazy Gun Toting Loner and got 611 weird sites, BUT NO Crazy Gun Toting Loner Rumors.

    Is John punking us?

    What am I saying? That has to be the stupidest thing I’ve ever said!

    Of course, if there was a Crazy Gun Toting Loner Rumors site, it probably wouldn’t use its real name.

    Wait! Ok, I’m back. I tried “CGTLR” and found a weird military supply site, but it was in German. The site seemed bogus and creepy, so I guess it is possibly the Crazy Gun Toting Loner Rumors Site. But the German thing bothers me. Especially since the office is next to the CARS office. Could CARS be in the same building as a secret underground nazi cell?

  11. Streetrabbit says:

    Could be Bellidancer. I read at Crazy Rumor Site Owners Crazy Biographies that John was a colonel in the East German Stasi, before the wall came down. It’s pretty obvious though given his obsession with podcasting and curtains…as in iron curtain.

  12. iBode says:

    Of course you can’t find the website.

    The rumors are obviously delivered on horseback.

    Though I don’t know why they would have a wireless network…

  13. Ace Deuce says:

    At first I was dismayed that CARS staff had nothing for us today. But then I realized a lesser rumor site would have just MADE SOMETHING UP to save face.

    CARS has integrity.

    Behind the curtain is Door Number Two.

    But what’s behind Door Number Two?

  14. Appleswitch says:

    CARS has integrity….

  15. Bellidancer, Streetrabbit:

    A confidential source has tipped me off as to the identity of the Crazy Gun-Toting Loners. It is apparently headed by a Michigan resident who legally changed his name to “Anonymous Coward.” (He is notorious as the most well-known and successful Slashdot troll.) He has several subordinates, though they are more like servants than friends. He also possesses powerful Dark Magic.

    The CGTL are also hosting their rumour site on sites they hack and secretly control, rather than buying their own web space. My source tells me that this is their current location: http://columbia.jp/roosters/

    The German military supply site, on the other hand, I was told is a decoy, and bears very little useful information.

    Given that URL, it is up to us to find how Coward is transmitting his communiqués to other CGTL members through it. I suspect fowl things are afoot. (Heehee… “fowl.” Lololol. “Foot.”)

  16. Nxxx says:

    WiFi……….that’s a short distance radio tx/rx system, isn’t it?………..Friday’s help desk……..radio denied……back to Podcasting………Death, where is thy sting……..obviously CGTLT will oblige……I’m out of here……still, I wonder what was behind Laurie’s curtain?…….Moltz Stasi?………..Got it. It’s CARS version of The Da Vinci Code.

  17. Bellidancer says:

    Bunny, I checked that site. Shame on you! Directing people to Japanese rock group sites is just sick. Even if the site is the CGTL site, WHO WOULD CARE?!? Who could stomach investigating the site? I’m going to go wash out my eyes.

    Streetrabbit, somehow I missed that story. Looking at Moltz’s photo through… he definitely would be of German extraction.

    Ace Deuce, great humor! CARS has integrity. You slay me!

  18. Woman says:

    I feel like I know her, but sometimes my arms bend back.

  19. ficko says:

    Mr. Moltz,

    Very clever. Introducing gun toting loners, but you’re a day out.

    Samuel Colt’s Birthday is tomorrow, the 19th.

  20. Nxxx says:

    Thanks ficko, you have brought my previous Da Vinci Code post to a conclusion.

    Moltz is in possession of the new Apple product.

    Steve has joined the NRA, and

    Apple.

    Cool.

    Minimalist.

    Firearms………

  21. Nxxx says:

    Thanks ficko. Your information has solved my CARS Da Vinci Code, what’s behind the curtain and the significance of the gap in the logo.

    Moltz is in possession of Apple’s latest product.

    Steve has joined the NRA, result

    Apple.

    Cool.

    Minimalist.

    Firearms.

    Mmmmmmmm.

  22. Post Haste says:

    Pay no attention to what’s behind the curtain.

  23. The Wizard of Oz says:

    No, you idiot! It’s “pay no attention to the man behind the curtain!”

    Sheesh, get it right.

    I gotta get out of this business.

  24. jim says:

    i love this site, but i dread reading to the end of the story to see the stupid “first post” bullshit.

    will that ever get old? please?

  25. an idiot says:

    27th post!!

  26. Ace Deuce says:

    Oh, did I say “integrity”?

    My mistake. I meant to say “impetigo,” which is a bacterial skin infection.

    Not very pretty, unfortunately, but treatable.

  27. Bellidancer says:

    Ace Deuce, on Howard, it’s called mange.

  28. Psyko says:

    All CARS seems to have is a ton of comment boxes full of nut cases.

    MARK

  29. Red Lantern, Dead Battery says:

    I’m behind the curtain.

    And if you’ll wait JUST ONE SECOND, I’ll be out.

    Thank you.

  30. Old drunk says:

    If dat’s whut he’s a drinkin’ then gimme some uh dat hootz paw too!

    Some thinkles may peep that I am under the alcofluence of inkahol.

    But I’ve only had tee martoonies, and drunker I stand here the longer I get.

  31. jinzo012 says:

    Dude, you pretty much copied that straight off of a website. It’s not right to copy other peoples material

    ANYHoO what’s behind the curtain eh? I think it is a, British Airways Airbus A320-100 with the Koguty Lowickie World Tail Livery (Google it)

  32. Laurie A's Band says:

    ** SIGH **

  33. Pie Man says:

    What’s behind the curtain? Can’t you smell it? It’s … PIE. Mmmmmmm, delicious pie. With maybe some pea and ham soup. I’m feeling hungry already…

  34. jinzo012 says:

    YES SOMEONE DID SAY PIE?!

  35. LastPostGuy says:

    Last Post!