Based on the tax filings of Apple and the major Apple rumor sites, a study conducted by Crazy Apple Rumors Site indicates that the combined income of the rumor sites is now greater than that of the company they cover.
While Apple made $3.52 billion last quarter, the rumor sites raked in the following:
ThinkSecret – $1.8 billion
SpyMac – $2.1 billion
Apple Insider – $322 million
Mac Rumors – $709,432
MacOS Rumors – $17.23 in loose change
Crazy Apple Rumors Site – one shiny buffalo head nickel
As it turns out, the Apple world now more fully revolves around the reporting of rumors of new products than the actual sale of those products. And Apple’s litigious nature in regards to rumor mongering has only made it more forbidden – more dirty – and therefore more enticing.
“When I first switched to the Mac, I wasn’t really all that into Apple rumors,” said Mac user Todd Abbott. “But then when Apple sued Think Secret, I thought, hmm, maybe I should check that shit out. That sounds nasty.
“Now I’m hooked. I’m hanging out on message boards, I’m pressing reload on SpyMac like every thirty seconds. It’s like a Macworld keynote for me all the time.
Suddenly shaking and glancing back at his G5 iMac as it idled on Apple Insider, Abbott said “I… I think I may have a problem.”
Apple’s attempts to starve rumor sites by firing employees who leak information has also only served to make people more curious.
“What are they hiding?” asked one poster on SpyMac’s message boards. “A tablet device? A cell phone? I know one dude who swears it’s atomic cake. Could that be it? Atomic cake? And what the heck does that mean, anyway? I mean… cake is inherently made up of molecules so, in a sense, all cake is atomic. So what the hell is ‘atomic’ cake?
“I think I’ll go make some mock-ups of brushed metal cake with a white Apple logo. I’ll post them here when I’m done.”
Some have expressed fear that the rumor sites may pool their resources and actually try to buy Apple, thus controlling the source of their most precious business input. However, sources indicate the rumor site owners have already blown most of their revenues on booze, cheap hookers and, of course, Macintosh computers and iPods.