10 Aug 05Apple Rumor Sites Now Making More Money Than Apple.


Based on the tax filings of Apple and the major Apple rumor sites, a study conducted by Crazy Apple Rumors Site indicates that the combined income of the rumor sites is now greater than that of the company they cover.

While Apple made $3.52 billion last quarter, the rumor sites raked in the following:

ThinkSecret – $1.8 billion
SpyMac – $2.1 billion
Apple Insider – $322 million
Mac Rumors – $709,432
MacOS Rumors – $17.23 in loose change
Crazy Apple Rumors Site – one shiny buffalo head nickel

As it turns out, the Apple world now more fully revolves around the reporting of rumors of new products than the actual sale of those products. And Apple’s litigious nature in regards to rumor mongering has only made it more forbidden – more dirty – and therefore more enticing.

“When I first switched to the Mac, I wasn’t really all that into Apple rumors,” said Mac user Todd Abbott. “But then when Apple sued Think Secret, I thought, hmm, maybe I should check that shit out. That sounds nasty.

“Now I’m hooked. I’m hanging out on message boards, I’m pressing reload on SpyMac like every thirty seconds. It’s like a Macworld keynote for me all the time.

Suddenly shaking and glancing back at his G5 iMac as it idled on Apple Insider, Abbott said “I… I think I may have a problem.”

Apple’s attempts to starve rumor sites by firing employees who leak information has also only served to make people more curious.

“What are they hiding?” asked one poster on SpyMac’s message boards. “A tablet device? A cell phone? I know one dude who swears it’s atomic cake. Could that be it? Atomic cake? And what the heck does that mean, anyway? I mean… cake is inherently made up of molecules so, in a sense, all cake is atomic. So what the hell is ‘atomic’ cake?

“I think I’ll go make some mock-ups of brushed metal cake with a white Apple logo. I’ll post them here when I’m done.”

Some have expressed fear that the rumor sites may pool their resources and actually try to buy Apple, thus controlling the source of their most precious business input. However, sources indicate the rumor site owners have already blown most of their revenues on booze, cheap hookers and, of course, Macintosh computers and iPods.

30 Responses to “Apple Rumor Sites Now Making More Money Than Apple.”

  1. Jason says:

    A close 2nd

  2. Mr. Thoid says:

    Thoid!

    I mean Thyroid!

    I mean Third!

  3. ...House says:

    Fourth!

    Hmm…nuclear pudding…shiny pie…my nipples get erect just thinking about the unspoken (unspeakable?) possibilities….

  4. All clocks are atomic.

    Cakes? Not so much.

    Although they can be carbon-dated.

    Cakes? Carbonated.

    Meanwhile…

  5. iBode says:

    Hey, I want a shiny buffalo nickel.

    All I have is the regular ones.

    Oh, maybe sixth? (probably 7 or 8)

  6. iBode says:

    And we all know the CARS staff would never go and spend their money on “booze, cheap hookers and, of course, Macintosh computers and iPods.”

  7. leftshoe says:

    CARS staff are all respectible members of society…

    Ahm….

    er, but they are still funny!

  8. UhhhDude says:

    Is atomic cake the same as yellowcake uranium?

    If so, I can cut you a slice, if you want.

  9. Streetrabbit says:

    Could be a very small cake. That would suck.

    Just in case….11th.

  10. OverclockedLemon says:

    aand eleventh again!

  11. OverclockedLemon says:

    And I did it all without even posting a booster post. Y’all happy now?!

    Gee, you think MacOSRumors earns that much, even with all of their pop ups, flash, and other annoying ads?

  12. Stanley Morgan says:

    John,

    With results like that you should be asset stripping, how much for the sexbots?

    Thrixnoonth.

  13. 2000guitars says:

    I don’t believe that story one bit. That’s just a rumor.

  14. mac_man says:

    IT”S Spymac, not SpyMac. Why can’t you get it RIGHT?@!???!?!???@#@#$!??#@?$?@#?%!#??!#@$?%

    Hehe, I’m so funny, they think I’m mad about it…

    *Looks up*

    Uhhh, oh, I didn’t know this was still on….

    Cullen

  15. Touched and Deloited Accountants. says:

    Guys,

    I smell a rat, although it could be Howard.

    Just a few days ago, John and his fellow executives were betting Quatloos on the relative merits of Mark, sorry Zimbabwe, or is it Briggs and, I can’t remember or be bothered to look, but accuracy is out of place and will probably be censured on this site.

    Questions that need answering

    1) Why is there such a small reported profit?

    2) What is the current exchange rate of Quatloos?

    3) Where did the executives amass their fortunes?

    4) Why aren’t the audited accounts published?

    5) The only assets CARS have is the Commenters, so why aren’t we paid?

    6) The CARS executives have been offered considerable financial rewards for control of us Commenters by rival sites. Why were we not informed of our value?

    We are what our UK Prime Minister refers to as ‘Stake-holders’ and as such , unless Mr. Moltz pays the Commenters, we shall be forced use our stakes to do a Buffy on Mr. Moltz and his fellow executives excluding Howard, as the animal welfare people play rough.

    Please explode in a convincing manner.

  16. JFK says:

    Ask not what this site can do for you, but what you could do for SpyMac or Spymac or whatever because they seem to have more money. Maybe they would pay top dollar for “posters” or for pictures of poster’s sisters.

  17. Tod Abbott says:

    Hey, I resent that. I haven’t visited SpyMac since those obviously bogus Apple PDA stories way back when.

    Let’s see, I visit CARS everyday, and MacSurfer, but the only site I reload every 30 seconds is As the Apple Turns. That’s been pretty unsatisfying lately.

    Oh, and I never “switched” to the Mac. My first computer was a 512Ke back in ’88, and I’ve never looked back.

    Tod Abbott (and check your spelling!)

  18. Ace Deuce says:

    I wouldn’t sully my fingers by posting comments on sites other than CARS.

    That’s too “gutter” for me.

  19. GENERALBOB says:

    where can you get a hooker for a nickel?

  20. Psyko says:

    Time travel will solve your dilemma GENERALBOB.

    Psyko

  21. iBode says:

    Or maybe you can mail-order some.

    Never mind, you wouldn’t be able to pay for the postage.

  22. Psyko says:

    Time travel is the only option.

    MARK

  23. [meta comment; best post for this comment thread was the JFK “Ask Not…” speech. Great concept. I, for one, would pay good $$ for a poster of a poster’s hot sister’s poster of Alyson Hannigan. I mean, come on!]

    MicroSort: We make our software without any open source impurities, except for some bits of Unix… Oh and some *early* MacOS stuff. Oh, and some of the Aqua and Quartz stuff, but NOTHING ELSE except good old Redmond “Brown” Coding. I mean, come on!

    And finally; “Alyson Hannigan”, no wait… “Some have expressed fear that the rumor sites may pool their resources and actually try to buy Apple”

    Is that a rumor in and of itself? If they report that the price with just go up for Apple. Hell, I could buy Apple right no with the money in my sock, but in doing so I would wipe out 90% of the ideas I appropriate. [Damn, I spell good]

  24. iBode says:

    Hey Psyko, where did you get a time travel device?

    Did you get it off the internet? Did you remember to put the crystals in?

  25. My own study has shown that people posting “first post” comments on Apple rumor sites are collectively making more money than the rumor sites themselves.

    And they’re using it to buy porn.

  26. Streetrabbit says:

    It’s true, I would switch back to Windows tomorrow if they had decent rumour sites.

    Never, not once has there ever been a single goat on wininsider.com.

    Can you believe that?

  27. Dexter Span says:

    Mmmmmm, Alyson Hannigan in spandex….. with a goat.

  28. J.C. says:

    $$$ MONEY and FINANCIAL FREEDOM $$$

    $$$ MONEY $$$ MONEY $$$ MONEY $$$

    Hello Friend, I want waste your time. Earn Cool Cash, an Extra Income and Free Postage Stamps, doing little or nothing. For Free Information, Send LSASE(#10) to: J.C.W., 100 Tallokas Ct., Bldg. 4 Apt. 431, Leesburg, GA 31763 U.S.A.. Check out this $$$ MONEY MAKING PROGRAM NOW $$$!!!

  29. jcwwcj says:

    $$$$ HOW TO TURN $6.00 INTO $6,000.00!!! $$$$ “WOW” You will feel RICH!!! , RICH!!! , RICH!!!, within weeks, it will make your life much better than before, “Trust Me”. Follow these Directions carefully so this money cycle could work easily (this is how it works). MAKE FAST EASY MONEY USING YOUR PAYPAL ACCOUNT!!! USING ONLY $6.00, THIS REALLY WORKS!!! And IT’S COMPLETELY LEGAL!!!!! If you have any doubts, refer to Title 18, Section 1302 and 1341, U.S. Postal and Lottery Laws or Title 18, Section 3005 in the U.S. Code, also in the Code of Federal Regulations, Volume 16, Sections 255 and 436, which states; “a product or service must be exchanged for money received”. The simple note in the letter, “PLEASE ADD ME TO YOUR MAILING LIST”, makes it legal because you are paying for exchange of a service, (adding the purchasers name to your mailing list) for a $1.00 fee or you could even call the U.S. Post Office (1-800-725-2161). You have most likely seen or heard about this project on TV programs such as 20/20 and Oprah Winfrey or you may have read about it in the Wall Street Journal.

    The Money Results and Directions: Make from $20,000.00 to $50,000.00 in as little as 4 -6 weeks with only an initial investment of $6.00, by using a simple secure internet account called PAYPAL, that takes only a few minutes to join and get started. Sign up for a FREE PAYPAL account by clicking on the link, http://www.paypal.com, or put it into your browser. PLEASE READ ON: IT’S WORTH A TRY. I found this on a bulletin board and decided to try it. “A little while back, I was browsing through news groups and came across an article similar to this that said you could make thousands of dollars within weeks with only an initial investment of $6.00!!! So I thought, Yeah right, this must be a scam”, but like most of us, I was curious, so I kept reading. Anyway, it said that you send only $1.00 to each of the 6 email addresses stated in this article. Then email them to have your name added to a mailing list (Pay $1.00 and type “PLEASE ADD ME TO YOUR MAILING LIST”). After you do that , place your email address at the bottom of the list at the #6 position and email it to your friends as well as post this message (with your email address in the list) to at least 200 newsgroups. You need to spend some time posting these; it can be time consuming but it’s worth it in the long run. I figured “what have I got to lose except $6.00, right”? So I invested the measly $6.00. Within days, I started getting money coming into my PAYPAL account!!! In my first week, I made about $25.00 which means that 25 people joined the group after they saw my posted messages. By the end of the second week, I had made a total of over $1,000.00!!! In the third week, I had over $10,000.00 and it’s still growing. This is now my fourth week and I have made a total of just over $42,000.00 and it’s still coming in rapidly. It’s certainly worth $6.00, and the few minutes it took to join PAYPAL. Let me tell you how this works and most importantly, why it works. Also, make sure you print a copy of this article NOW, so you can get the information off of it, as you need it. I promise you that if you follow the directions EXACTLY, that you will start making more money than you thought possible by doing something so easy! SUGGESTION: Read this entire message carefully! (Print it out or download it.) Follow the simple directions and watch the money comes in! It’s that easy. It’s legal. And, your investment is only $6.00. IMPORTANT: This is not a rip-off; it is not indecent; it is not illegal; and it is virtually no risk-it really works! If all of the following instructions are adhered to, you will receive extraordinary dividends. Follow these directions EXACTLY, and $20,000.00 or more can be yours in 4 to 6 weeks. This program remains successful because of the honesty and integrity of the participants. Please continue its success by carefully adhering to the instructions. In this business your product is not solid and tangible, it’s a service. You are in the business of developing Mailing Lists. Many large corporations are happy to pay big bucks for quality lists. However, the money made from the mailing lists is secondary to the income which is made from people like you and me asking to be included in that list. Here are the 4 easy steps to success: STEP 1: Take a few minutes to join PAYPAL, http://www.paypal.com, (you just need to sign up for a Personal Account- which is FREE).

    The Internet’s most trusted Internet banking system for your future income. When creating your PAYPAL account make sure you use the same Email address as your user name in the list below so people can send money to your account. STEP 2: Once you have a PAYPAL account running, use PAYPAL to post $1.00 to EACH of the 6 Email Addresses below because you pay people with an email address in PAYPAL. To do this you may need to use a checking account or credit card, which is very easy, and secure so nobody but PAYPAL may see it. If you don’t have a checking account or credit card show this great lucrative offer to someone that has one and get them to help you pay the $6.00. What you are doing is creating a service. This is absolutely legal!!! You are requesting a legitimate service and you are paying for it! Here are the 6 individual Email addresses that you have to send $1.00 to through PAYPAL for this to work properly and for you to receive money. (If you don’t send the money and decide to post the message with your name in it anyway, PAYPAL will instantly pick this up and terminate your account, immediately, besides the other penalties!! If you did this you could get into serious trouble because it is fraud. (So follow the instructions and post the $6.00 and you will make lots of money with no hassles.) Now send $1.00 to each of these following email addresses through your PAYPAL account: (Just in case you still haven’t one yet, use this link, http://www.paypal.com, to open one in your name and pay $1.00 to each of the following 6 email addresses below, in the message box, type in, “PLEASE ADD ME TO YOUR MAILING LIST”.

    1.) paddu330@yahoo.com

    2.) illucky13@aol.com

    3.) lovelykia84@yahoo.com

    4.) j_coate@hotmail.com

    5.) springfunin05@yahoo.com

    6.) jcwwcj@iwon.com

    STEP 3: After sending $1.00 to each 6 email addresses above; Now take the #1 Email Address off the list that you see above, move the other Email Addresses up (#6 becomes #5, #5 becomes #4, etc.) and add Your Email Address as # 6 on the list. STEP 4: Now, post your amended article to at least 200 newsgroups (there are thousands of groups) and email your message to as many people you can. But remember, the more you post and email the more money you make! This is perfectly legal!!! If you have any doubts, remember to check Title 18, Section 1302 and 1341, U.S. Postal and Lottery Laws or Title 18, Section 3005 in the U.S. Code, also in the Code of Federal Regulations, Volume 16, Sections 255 and 436, which states; “a product or service must be exchanged for money received”. The simple note in the letter, “PLEASE ADD ME TO YOUR MAILING LIST”, makes it legal because you are paying for exchange of a service, (adding the purchasers name to your mailing list) for a $1.00 fee or you could even call the U.S. Post Office (1-800-725-2161). Keep a copy of these steps for yourself and, whenever you need money, you can use it again and again. PLEASE REMEMBER that this program remains successful because of the honesty and integrity of the participants and by their carefully adhering to the directions. You are simply paying into a money making chain of participants and if the chain is broken you are screwing someone else out of their fair share. So, as each person who joins the family and the directions are followed, 6 members will be reimbursed for their participation as a List Developer with $1.00 each. You then insert your Email Address into the list and it will move up geometrically. So that when your name reaches the #1 position you will have potentially received thousands of dollars into your account!!! What an opportunity for only a total of $6.00, $1.00 for each of the first 6 people listed above. To begin with, please send your joining fee (only a total $6.00, $1.00 for each of the first 6 people listed above) NOW!!! Then add your own Email Address to the list and you’re in business!!!

    HOW TO POST TO NEWSGROUPS? Use Netscape or Internet Explorer and try searching for various newsgroups (on-line forums, message boards, chat sites, discussions, etc.). Log on any search engine(www.yahoo.com, http://www.google.com, http://www.altavista.com, http://www.excite.com, http://www.askjeeves.com, http://www.msn.com, etc.), then search with the subject (”millionaire message board” or ”money making message board” or ”employment message board” or “money making discussions” or ”money making forum” or “business message board” etc.). You will find thousands & thousands of message boards. Click on them one by one and you will find the option ‘post a new message’. Then Post this article as a ‘new message’ by highlighting the text of this letter and selecting copy, then paste from the edit menu. Fill in the Subject, this will be the header that everyone sees as they scroll through the list of postings in a particular group, click the post message button. You’re done with your first one! It only takes about 60 seconds to complete postings on message boards after you catch on. REMEMBER, THE MORE NEWSGROUPS YOU POST IN, THE MORE MONEY YOU WILL MAKE!!! BUT YOU HAVE TO POST A MINIMUM OF 200!!! That is it; you will begin receiving money in your account from around the world within days! JUST MAKE SURE ALL THE ADDRESSES ARE CORRECT. When your name is no longer on the list, you just take the latest posting in the newsgroups, and send out another $6.00 to Email Addresses using PAYPAL on the list, putting your name at #6 again. And start posting again. The thing to remember is that thousands of people all over the world are joining the Internet and reading these articles everyday. JUST LIKE YOU ARE NOW!!! So, can you afford $6.00 to see if it really works??? I THINK SO!!!! Remember, play FAIRLY and HONESTLY and this will really work. There’s no use trying to cheat for only $6.00.

    **** GOOD LUCK TO YOU and ENJOY YOUR NEW MONEY FLOW ****

    $$$$ HAPPINESS and SUCCESS $$$$