Apple Sales Drop On Devastating Realization.

According to several sources, sales of PowerBooks have slowed to the barest trickle on news that Intel-based PowerBooks will be released in the first quarter of 2006.

While many are opting to wait for the “latest and greatest” laptops, they are not the only Apple product line suffering. Sales of all Apple products have plummeted in recent weeks as the Intel switch has caused customers to realized that everything the company sells will one day be replaced by something better.

Writing for Infoworld magazine, columnist Tom Yager described his plan for making sure his next purchase of a PowerBook gets the ultimate bang for his buck.

“In an effort to get the best Apple product possible for my money,” Yager wrote “I plan on buying one five minutes before I die.

“In terms of price versus performance, those will be the most efficient minutes of my life. I can only hope that I won’t be in a coma or being slowly swallowed by an anaconda or locked in mortal combat with giant ants or some other situation where I can’t use my arms.”

Yager is not alone. All across the Macintosh community, customers were deferring purchases or declining delivery on previously ordered items.

Mac user Charles Gradin declined delivery on an AppleCare Protection Plan after reading that they will soon come in cooler boxes.

“If I’m going to get AppleCare for my Power Mac, it’s going to be in the shiniest, most bitching box it can possible come in,” Gradin said.

“That’s just the way I roll.”

Apple declined to comment on its troubles selling products, but a recent deal on the Apple Store listed 17-inch Powerbooks at “two for one.”

33 thoughts on “Apple Sales Drop On Devastating Realization.”

  1. Dammit. Second.

    Maybe third by the time I hit the post button.

    Maybe we should change the name of the post button to “OK”?

    Just a thought, it’s easier to read because it’s shorter.

  2. I don’t assume that new Macs will be better. They will have Intel Inside, and all the DRM-y goodness that implies. Which gives me a rash.

    I will continue to use my PPC-powered Mac for as long as I can, then my computing needs will be met by a steam-powered implementation of Babbage’s Difference Engine. I think that runs Linux.

  3. I’ve already arranged with the undertaker for my coffin to be fitted with mains electricity and a work desk. Space is going to be at a premium as I’ve also got a banjo, guitar and three melodeons in the music room.

  4. hey, cool boxes went out with the decease of the black and white gateway boxes. Gateway Country.


  5. …me to get 11th post! 🙂 *dances*

    Anyhoo, I want someone to photoshop up a webpage of the Apple Store selling 17″ pBooks at “two for one.”

    Get to it, minions!

  6. I was going to comment on this article today, but I decided instead to wait for the new commenting tool that may be coming down the pipe next year…

  7. Oh, man, I WOULD have had the 11th spot if I hadn’t been patiently waiting hitting the refresh button every 4 secs at the Apple store. Gotta get me an Intel machine. Hmmm, had a thought, what if they go back to IBM or Freescale at some point? Oh, god, then I should wait for Apple to get sick of waiting on Intel chips to get better. It’s…it’s…like looking in a mirror that faces another mirror! It just goes on forever! Aaaaaaiiiiiiiieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! (runs away)

  8. My pants and I have travelled all the way to France, to post this.

    That’s a hella long way from California, btw…

    Anyway, my pants would like to declare their allegience to the G5/PPC processor. Dual core all the way, baby!!!!

    What’s that? Dual core Intel?


    Intel all the way baby!!!


  9. Why can’t Apple simply take one’s old Mac in trade for a new one? The iPod revenue should allow them to operate at a loss on the computer side just so we don’t have the angst of deciding when to upgrade.

    Works for me…

  10. Stop right there! You said:

    “That’s just the way I roll.”

    Now I happen to know that the website Gizmodo used this exact phrase just this morning. Are we to believe that two people on planet earth could simultaneiously come up with the same combination of words?

    We know the theory of a million chimps banging on a million typewriters for a trillion years will eventually come up with the complete works of Shakespear, but the Internet itself have proven that wrong.

    So admit to the plagiarism right now Mr. Moltz. And maybe we can rectify this situation before it gets even uglier!

    And no, I did not say rectumfy…

  11. This comment is so much better than the one I was going to do at 8:40 AM PST. Aren’t you glad I waited?

    Note: This comment best read after December 9th 2005. For best results, read on deathbed.

  12. The sisters and I are used to waiting. Patiently. Father Foster Brooks is often late. We always seem to run out of Communion wine when he is offering Mass.

    The convent is currently running G5s. We have collectivly decided to wait till the third release of the Intel Macs. And then we’ll sue the Apple.

  13. Verbal Police,

    In the land of his birth and where he worked, we normally spell, and he did, the Bard of Avon’s name with another ‘e’. As for accusing John of plagiarism, at least 5,239 web sites had already mentioned Shakespeare this morning before you did.

  14. Two typos in the same story! Must be “two for one” day at CARS too.

    Be ashamed, Moltz, be very ashamed!

    ” … has caused customers to realized …”

    ” … most bitching box it can possible come in …”

    Keep sharpening that rock, Ugluk!

  15. What? The AppleCare’s going to get a better box?

    I just bought one!

    What?!? My new iPod will degrade in value because new and better ones will be released?

    Apple, this is unacceptable. You cannot improve on products you have already sold. It’s unfair to your customers.

    Consider yourself Class Action Lawsuited!

  16. These comments are the ROXOR!!!1!!

    Personally I plan to either have my body cryogenically frozen and placed in a geosynchronous orbit where I can wirelessly control my evil empire and attempt to get a patent on this and the neighboring two universes, that or just be a head in a jar. The jar thing has several advantages, one of them not being that Balmer may mistake me for a giant pickled egg.

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